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<blockquote data-quote="Im a Believer" data-source="post: 225821" data-attributes="member: 6448"><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">I will give more insight because I really do want to do what's appropriate and not react on my emotions.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">My daughter has had a pattern of not talking to her Dad nor I unless it benefits her materially.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">She is married to a man with a "perfect" family. In other words his parents are not divorced and that is something that my daughter is ashamed of - that is my fault by trying to portray we were a perfect family as she grew up by denying the reality of our family.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">She lives an hour away but has not come around since she met her husband.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">I have often wondered if it were a way of protecting herself from her now husband in possibly hearing of her Bulemia. I don'tknow what he knows about that.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">I don't believe she is acting out now that she is pregnant - her weight gain has been normal.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">When she canceled the wedding she appologized and said they would pay me back. She vanished from my life for several months and wouldn't speak to me so I wrote them a card and said my husband and I wanted to give them that as their wedding gift and they didn't have to pay us back.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">She started talking to me again.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">As I've mentioned in previous posts my children simply do not respect me nor their Dad really - but they do respect him more than I due to what I believe was that they saw me honor him in the marriage.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">My husband (her step father) has seen this behaviour all along - she would send me a ooey gooey card and I would be all excited that "she loved me again" and he would say "what does she want". Sure enough - a few days later she needs something.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">My eyes are really being opened lately asto why my children act the way they do and I am not blaming myself so much and I know I do need to stand up for myself and "demand" to be respected or you evidently do not truly want a relationship with me.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">What I struggle with now is - I tend to be an allor nothing person and I don't want the pendulum to swing too far the other way -</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">I am trying to find balance.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Hope that gives more insight to "my view" of the situation.</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Thanks for any help in seeing it more clearly ~</span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Comic Sans MS'"><span style="font-size: 15px">Judy</span></span></p><p> </p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Im a Believer, post: 225821, member: 6448"] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]I will give more insight because I really do want to do what's appropriate and not react on my emotions.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]My daughter has had a pattern of not talking to her Dad nor I unless it benefits her materially.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]She is married to a man with a "perfect" family. In other words his parents are not divorced and that is something that my daughter is ashamed of - that is my fault by trying to portray we were a perfect family as she grew up by denying the reality of our family.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]She lives an hour away but has not come around since she met her husband.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]I have often wondered if it were a way of protecting herself from her now husband in possibly hearing of her Bulemia. I don'tknow what he knows about that.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]I don't believe she is acting out now that she is pregnant - her weight gain has been normal.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]When she canceled the wedding she appologized and said they would pay me back. She vanished from my life for several months and wouldn't speak to me so I wrote them a card and said my husband and I wanted to give them that as their wedding gift and they didn't have to pay us back.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]She started talking to me again.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]As I've mentioned in previous posts my children simply do not respect me nor their Dad really - but they do respect him more than I due to what I believe was that they saw me honor him in the marriage.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]My husband (her step father) has seen this behaviour all along - she would send me a ooey gooey card and I would be all excited that "she loved me again" and he would say "what does she want". Sure enough - a few days later she needs something.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]My eyes are really being opened lately asto why my children act the way they do and I am not blaming myself so much and I know I do need to stand up for myself and "demand" to be respected or you evidently do not truly want a relationship with me.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]What I struggle with now is - I tend to be an allor nothing person and I don't want the pendulum to swing too far the other way -[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]I am trying to find balance.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]Hope that gives more insight to "my view" of the situation.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]Thanks for any help in seeing it more clearly ~[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4]Judy[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Comic Sans MS][SIZE=4][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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