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Parent Emeritus
Wanted: experienced folks for touchy problem
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 274327"><p>I understood too. </p><p>It really is son's decision.</p><p>He is aware of our thoughts....and perhaps that is influential and perhaps it isn't fair.</p><p>We are confused on this.</p><p>In the end, the two of them will make all the decisions on it all.</p><p>They will make the final decisions. </p><p>We are seeing them in about 10 days to discuss this and other things...</p><p>I can tell you that SHE (the BRIDE) wants difficult child there....and of course SHE has a major say in all of this.</p><p>It is a slight variation on words "it's okay not to invite her" vs </p><p>"the final decision on this and all wedding related decisions are yours."</p><p>This is a touchy subject...we want her there too, but don't want drama/trauma and don't want our son hurt.</p><p>At the moment, I think he is very open to having her there, esp. since the bride to be wants her there, but both of them want esacpe routes. We haven't spoken to them yet about giving difficult child a job to do yet...but will soon. We also havent' told them about the drinking incident. I know in my heart that more than one of those...and we would all be in agreement...difficult child would be uninvited. Hopefully, there wont be a repeat performance, we can give her a job to do and have escape routes in case of emergency. I fully do not like all the work involved to help difficult child live a somewhat normal life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 274327"] I understood too. It really is son's decision. He is aware of our thoughts....and perhaps that is influential and perhaps it isn't fair. We are confused on this. In the end, the two of them will make all the decisions on it all. They will make the final decisions. We are seeing them in about 10 days to discuss this and other things... I can tell you that SHE (the BRIDE) wants difficult child there....and of course SHE has a major say in all of this. It is a slight variation on words "it's okay not to invite her" vs "the final decision on this and all wedding related decisions are yours." This is a touchy subject...we want her there too, but don't want drama/trauma and don't want our son hurt. At the moment, I think he is very open to having her there, esp. since the bride to be wants her there, but both of them want esacpe routes. We haven't spoken to them yet about giving difficult child a job to do yet...but will soon. We also havent' told them about the drinking incident. I know in my heart that more than one of those...and we would all be in agreement...difficult child would be uninvited. Hopefully, there wont be a repeat performance, we can give her a job to do and have escape routes in case of emergency. I fully do not like all the work involved to help difficult child live a somewhat normal life. [/QUOTE]
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