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Parent Emeritus
Wanted: experienced folks for touchy problem
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 276417"><p>sven..</p><p>You make excellent points.</p><p>In our case, both our son and his fiance graduated with honors. Both had scholarship money. Us parents paid little. </p><p>In our case, our son worked and paid for many of his expenses.</p><p>The two of them are paying for a few things at the wedding and have made many consessions to help keep the costs down.</p><p>They have never complained once about it.</p><p>They are not paying for the wedding, but they have worked profoundly hard in the last several years, have been helpful to their respective families, have been very understanding about keeping the costs low and have contributed some of their own money to the wedding (including the fact that the bride paid for 1/2 of her wedding gown).</p><p>Knowing what I know about past heartache, it would be VERY bothersome for me if difficult child caused problems.</p><p>This is troubling for me...we are doing the best we can under EXTREMELY difficult circumstances.</p><p>There are moments that I find myself REALLY torn.</p><p>We have a very tiny family...we brought these kids up on our own.</p><p>My mom died young, etc etc etc.</p><p>We have all the ususal emotions associated with a wedding and this on top.</p><p>It is a heavy burden not to be able to go a wedding with- peace in your soul...</p><p> </p><p>Fran...</p><p>The other difficult child is not coming. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It seems to be a no win situation, really. husband says just have her come in briefly and leave quickly. It is the safest way. When I see my son in a few days, we'll discuss it further. Good thoughts/prayers appreciated.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 276417"] sven.. You make excellent points. In our case, both our son and his fiance graduated with honors. Both had scholarship money. Us parents paid little. In our case, our son worked and paid for many of his expenses. The two of them are paying for a few things at the wedding and have made many consessions to help keep the costs down. They have never complained once about it. They are not paying for the wedding, but they have worked profoundly hard in the last several years, have been helpful to their respective families, have been very understanding about keeping the costs low and have contributed some of their own money to the wedding (including the fact that the bride paid for 1/2 of her wedding gown). Knowing what I know about past heartache, it would be VERY bothersome for me if difficult child caused problems. This is troubling for me...we are doing the best we can under EXTREMELY difficult circumstances. There are moments that I find myself REALLY torn. We have a very tiny family...we brought these kids up on our own. My mom died young, etc etc etc. We have all the ususal emotions associated with a wedding and this on top. It is a heavy burden not to be able to go a wedding with- peace in your soul... Fran... The other difficult child is not coming. It seems to be a no win situation, really. husband says just have her come in briefly and leave quickly. It is the safest way. When I see my son in a few days, we'll discuss it further. Good thoughts/prayers appreciated. [/QUOTE]
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