Wanted to update everyone

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by southernmomma, Sep 19, 2007.

  1. southernmomma

    southernmomma New Member

    Hi everyone. I know it's been about a week since I've been on and wow-I had a lot of catching up to do! I just wanted to stop in and let everyone know how things are going on this end with my difficult child and myself. It's been exactly one week since I started on Lexapro and Xanax. I know I'm not going to feel the full effects of the Lexapro right away but I can sense a difference in my attitude and stress level. The last two days espeically. I have felt like I've been given more time in my day. I know that sounds crazy, but let me explain. For the last four years (since I had my difficult child), I have been off the charts with cleaning and keeping a tidy house. Almost obsessive. I pick up everything as soon as it hits the floor and have noticed in the past that I haven't quite been giving my kids the attention they deserve. I play with them and do things with them throughout the day, but these last few days, I feel like I've been given more time. I know it's because I haven't been running around like a crazy person cleaning and tidying up like I use to. I've started letting things slide. Those few dishes in the sink can wait, that stuff on the counter can be put away another time...things like that. I've been filling the time I would use doing menieal things to take the kids outside one more time or bake cookies or just sit on the couch and watch cartoons. It is SO nice. I even have more time with husband. difficult child is more respective of my "time to take care of business" and does things on his own, even if it is for five minutes. Someone had suggested a schedule. We started that and have stuck with it 100%. I explain to him what we're doing so there are no suprises. His tantrums have become fewer and fewer but there're still there and I'm able to work through them. I also got the book "The Explosive Child" it's helping me understand things from his point of view, which in turn helps me understand MY actions. I know we're far from being "better" but I know at least I'm on the right track. The side effects from the Lexapro aren't even bothering me now. I take it at night, sleep great, wake up and am ready to roll. Takes me exactly one hour from the time I open my eyes to really get into the swing of things, but that's a small price to pay for the joys I've gotten these last few days. I know they'll probably be ups and downs and am prepared for them. Thank you guys so much for your support and great ideas. It really helps ease the issues I've got with MY feelings about myself--like this is all my fault. I know it's not. As far as the family goes--I've opened up to all of them and told them all the problems that have been going on. The fact that difficult child and I are both getting the help we need and together as a team, we'll be able to help him function as a child and ward off the "trouble child" label he's bound to get in school. I want them all to be a part of his therapy/help and if they like it then great. They want to be on board, I'm willing to help THEM understand what WE understand. If not--then they don't need to be around that much. I know it's harsh, but I can't have things coming in and distroying the hard work I've put into helping him learn to cope with things. Is that bad of me?
    Anway, I know this is long and thanks for listening :smile:
     
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    :bravo:

    No it is not bad at all! It is being a warrior mom!
    :warrior:

    We sometimes have to do things we never thought we would do!

    Way to go!

    I am happy for you to be able to post such a wonderful update!

    :bravo:
     
  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    That's really good new. I'm so glad things are working out well. You're right, it's not a cure, the original problems remain - but a different way of dealing with things can often make a major change. After all, if what was going on before wasn't working... why not make a change?

    Marg
     
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm glad to hear things are going so well! Hugs.
     
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