Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Warning: too much information
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 558929" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry you are having this problem. Of all the problems our difficult child can have/show, this one seems to be one of the most emotionally charged. </p><p></p><p>Given that this was resolved until he went to visitation with his biomom, it seems more than probable that something happened at biomom's. If the therapist that is currently treating difficult child won't get into the issue with difficult child, then you really need to take other steps.</p><p></p><p>This is one of the signs of sexual abuse that is pretty much "in your face". I would contact your divorce atty or CPS (yes, I know that CPS can be big and scary but really they oonly want kids to be safe and healthy and happy.) and tell them that you think your child MAY have been abused at his mother's. Tell them that you didn't know this can be a sign of sexual abuse, but since you have learned that, you want the issue investigated. </p><p></p><p>WHY call CPS and not have the therapist just ask him? Chances are VERY high that this therapist has no clue how to do the forensic interview with a child. This intervew MUST be done by professionals with lots of experience because it is very easy to skew the results. Mostly because if you ask a kid the same question again and again, eventually the child wll start to believe whatever answer you seem to want. Say you had a child look at a bouquet of balloons that were red, blue and yellow and then took the child into the another room. You sit down with the child and start to ask questions about the balloon bouquet. Do you like balloons? Are they pretty? Do you like the green one? Did you see a green balloon? How many green balloons did you see? </p><p></p><p>Keep asking about the green balloon and after only a few (4-5 with many kids) questions about the green balloon, the child will start to not just say he saw a green balloon but will actually come to BELIEVE that there was a green balloon. </p><p></p><p>It is something that is very common, and when abuse is an issue it is crucial to have ALL questions asked by an expert who knows how to handle this. </p><p></p><p>I would want that forensic interview done as soon as possible, because you cannot address the issue until you know what it is. The cleaning and scrubbing will help, as will the wipes, but difficult child will likely need therapy to help him dealw ith whatever happened at his biomom's house.</p><p></p><p>Baby wipes are AWESOME for cleaning, in my opinion. I use them all over the house but esp in the bathroom. As they are designed to deal with what the body expels, they are esp great at wiping down the outside of the toilet, the seat/lid, the floor around it where the guys 'miss', etc.... You can get a big box of them at Sam's for not very much money. If difficult child doesn't want to use 'baby' wipes, put them into an airtight container like the gladware/ziploc plastic containers and decorate the outside with something he would find 'cool'. </p><p></p><p>I would also put 2-3 wipes in a sandwich size ziploc to carry in your purse so that if he has a problem while you are out, he can use those to clean himself up. The fragrance free wipes are the best choice if he s sore because the fragrance can burn.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 558929, member: 1233"] I am sorry you are having this problem. Of all the problems our difficult child can have/show, this one seems to be one of the most emotionally charged. Given that this was resolved until he went to visitation with his biomom, it seems more than probable that something happened at biomom's. If the therapist that is currently treating difficult child won't get into the issue with difficult child, then you really need to take other steps. This is one of the signs of sexual abuse that is pretty much "in your face". I would contact your divorce atty or CPS (yes, I know that CPS can be big and scary but really they oonly want kids to be safe and healthy and happy.) and tell them that you think your child MAY have been abused at his mother's. Tell them that you didn't know this can be a sign of sexual abuse, but since you have learned that, you want the issue investigated. WHY call CPS and not have the therapist just ask him? Chances are VERY high that this therapist has no clue how to do the forensic interview with a child. This intervew MUST be done by professionals with lots of experience because it is very easy to skew the results. Mostly because if you ask a kid the same question again and again, eventually the child wll start to believe whatever answer you seem to want. Say you had a child look at a bouquet of balloons that were red, blue and yellow and then took the child into the another room. You sit down with the child and start to ask questions about the balloon bouquet. Do you like balloons? Are they pretty? Do you like the green one? Did you see a green balloon? How many green balloons did you see? Keep asking about the green balloon and after only a few (4-5 with many kids) questions about the green balloon, the child will start to not just say he saw a green balloon but will actually come to BELIEVE that there was a green balloon. It is something that is very common, and when abuse is an issue it is crucial to have ALL questions asked by an expert who knows how to handle this. I would want that forensic interview done as soon as possible, because you cannot address the issue until you know what it is. The cleaning and scrubbing will help, as will the wipes, but difficult child will likely need therapy to help him dealw ith whatever happened at his biomom's house. Baby wipes are AWESOME for cleaning, in my opinion. I use them all over the house but esp in the bathroom. As they are designed to deal with what the body expels, they are esp great at wiping down the outside of the toilet, the seat/lid, the floor around it where the guys 'miss', etc.... You can get a big box of them at Sam's for not very much money. If difficult child doesn't want to use 'baby' wipes, put them into an airtight container like the gladware/ziploc plastic containers and decorate the outside with something he would find 'cool'. I would also put 2-3 wipes in a sandwich size ziploc to carry in your purse so that if he has a problem while you are out, he can use those to clean himself up. The fragrance free wipes are the best choice if he s sore because the fragrance can burn. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Warning: too much information
Top