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Warrior moms how do you not let your difficult child consume you?
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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 499602" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>It's so not easy!!! I know. I still worry, though not nearly as much as before... because I know she's not doing drugs/sleeping around/breaking laws/hurting anyone. <em>Right now</em>.</p><p></p><p>What I had to do was temporarily become selfish. Think only of myself. There was a point where I would leave for work 30 minutes before I had to, and invent reasons not to go straight home. But... Then I couldn't leave for any length of time, because what might happen to my pets/stuff while I was gone?! When husband was not home I slept with the dog, the bedroom door locked, and a motion sensor at head-height just inside the bedroom door and prayed she wouldn't set the upstairs on fire. I tried never to be alone in a room with her. Car was OK, she didn't want to be hurt if I wrecked, in public was OK, witnesses. Never alone. When she was home I worried about what she'd do, when she was gone I worried about what she was doing. I barely slept listening for her sneaking out...</p><p></p><p>So - when I heard her sneak out, I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. If I couldn't, I'd go lock the front door... I started turning a radio on a timer on low at night so I couldn't hear. I took showers first and used ALL the hot water (her or me, and I paid the bill...)</p><p></p><p>I let husband deal with it. If she started to get upset and I was the target, I walked away or spoke in a monotone - "If that's what you think is best" "If that's your decision" "There are others in this house, and you're not the center of the universe"... And I let husband handle more and more.</p><p></p><p>Where Jett was concerned, I was slightly more involved - but he suffered, too. I had to back off from all conflict - my normally almost-dead blood pressure was actually high and I was having panic attacks regularly (and for no reason, sometimes). husband and I fought a LOT. I just could not go on like that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 499602, member: 6705"] It's so not easy!!! I know. I still worry, though not nearly as much as before... because I know she's not doing drugs/sleeping around/breaking laws/hurting anyone. [I]Right now[/I]. What I had to do was temporarily become selfish. Think only of myself. There was a point where I would leave for work 30 minutes before I had to, and invent reasons not to go straight home. But... Then I couldn't leave for any length of time, because what might happen to my pets/stuff while I was gone?! When husband was not home I slept with the dog, the bedroom door locked, and a motion sensor at head-height just inside the bedroom door and prayed she wouldn't set the upstairs on fire. I tried never to be alone in a room with her. Car was OK, she didn't want to be hurt if I wrecked, in public was OK, witnesses. Never alone. When she was home I worried about what she'd do, when she was gone I worried about what she was doing. I barely slept listening for her sneaking out... So - when I heard her sneak out, I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. If I couldn't, I'd go lock the front door... I started turning a radio on a timer on low at night so I couldn't hear. I took showers first and used ALL the hot water (her or me, and I paid the bill...) I let husband deal with it. If she started to get upset and I was the target, I walked away or spoke in a monotone - "If that's what you think is best" "If that's your decision" "There are others in this house, and you're not the center of the universe"... And I let husband handle more and more. Where Jett was concerned, I was slightly more involved - but he suffered, too. I had to back off from all conflict - my normally almost-dead blood pressure was actually high and I was having panic attacks regularly (and for no reason, sometimes). husband and I fought a LOT. I just could not go on like that. [/QUOTE]
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