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Substance Abuse
was kicking our son out the right thing?
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 405914"><p>I agree with what others have said. There are no easy answers but it is true that enabling them just helps them to continue disobeying the rules and using and that gets them nowhere. Your son sounds similar to mine. We kicked our son out last June, he was 18. He stayed with friends, got arrested a couple of times and eventually took some positive steps. So we let him come home. It wasn't long before he was breaking all the rules again, flagrantly. We started to realize the message he was getting that he could just continue to break the rules was not a good one, I mean this is not how life works. So we kicked him out again in September. He stayed with the same friends and got in more legal trouble which eventually led to his bail being revoked and him spending 2 weeks in jail. Awful time for me, with a lot of self doubt. We did get him a lawyer and they worked out a deal and he ended up going out of state to rehab (which we paid for). He did 90 days and is now living in a halfway house with lots of support from the rehab program. We are helping him out financially until he gets on his feet... but from all reports he is so far doing well and has been sober since Oct 4th. I am now really glad we took the tough stand we did and let him screw up and end up in jail. It may have saved him. Time will tell. So if your son is using drugs or alcohol and not obeying any of your rules then yes I think you did the right thing.... it is the hardest thing for a parent to do but sometimes you have to let them fall, and fall hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 405914"] I agree with what others have said. There are no easy answers but it is true that enabling them just helps them to continue disobeying the rules and using and that gets them nowhere. Your son sounds similar to mine. We kicked our son out last June, he was 18. He stayed with friends, got arrested a couple of times and eventually took some positive steps. So we let him come home. It wasn't long before he was breaking all the rules again, flagrantly. We started to realize the message he was getting that he could just continue to break the rules was not a good one, I mean this is not how life works. So we kicked him out again in September. He stayed with the same friends and got in more legal trouble which eventually led to his bail being revoked and him spending 2 weeks in jail. Awful time for me, with a lot of self doubt. We did get him a lawyer and they worked out a deal and he ended up going out of state to rehab (which we paid for). He did 90 days and is now living in a halfway house with lots of support from the rehab program. We are helping him out financially until he gets on his feet... but from all reports he is so far doing well and has been sober since Oct 4th. I am now really glad we took the tough stand we did and let him screw up and end up in jail. It may have saved him. Time will tell. So if your son is using drugs or alcohol and not obeying any of your rules then yes I think you did the right thing.... it is the hardest thing for a parent to do but sometimes you have to let them fall, and fall hard. [/QUOTE]
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was kicking our son out the right thing?
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