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Was told not to bring difficult child back to school.
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 226101" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Surely after this, the director will officially acknowledge the need?</p><p></p><p>A suggestion, Shari - I think it's highly likely that once either of those two good teachers left, the bad teacher tried to do things the way SHE feels are right ie HER way (or the highway; and it turned out to be the highway).</p><p></p><p>So what I suggest - use this as leverage. This shouldn't have happened. It was not only forseeable, you had warned specifically against allowing this woman to have access to your child. I do find it very difficult to believe that she would succeed where no other teacher could. Sorry - that won't wash. An able-bodied male couldn't do it? Then SHE shouldn't have tried. Sorry, you can physically pick up every other child and carry them out of there, rather than lay your hands on a probably Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child, especially one who is raging. </p><p>So I would have a very hard talk to the director. </p><p>"Madam, I did tell you that there were problems with this teacher and her daughter. We have had problem after problem, in every single case there has been a connection with these two teachers where one or both has escalated the problem to the point where he has been out of control. The two teachers who DO follow the recommendations I have made and who have independently found ways to get good performance out of him, have been repeatedly undermined and devalued by this woman. They had him working well. She comes in and suddenly it's crisis. I warned out about this. And now I'm told he can't stay at this school. As you know, the alternative is the public school. Now, if YOUR school, where he has had a 1:1, still says they can't handle him, then the VERY LEAST YOU OWE THIS CHILD is to officially inform the public school that a 1:1 is required. There has been a diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) made. I'm sorry you personally do not agree with this, but frankly, more qualified heads than yours have seen fit to make this diagnosis."</p><p></p><p>Continue with, "If you had listened to me to begin with and acted on my complaints and concerns, we wouldn't be in this mess. But you didn't, and we are. And now my son is set up to fail, if you do not make this recommendation to the public school. They are expecting this, they have an IEP in draft already (with the possibility that this would happen, since we were beginning to get repeat problems due to this teacher continuing to stick her oar in even after I requested she stay away from my child)."</p><p></p><p>You get my drift. If you have to use blackmail, then I would take in with you, and hand over at this point, a formal notice of intent to make formal complaint against this teacher (and maybe the school?) for their failure to keep your son safe and their failure to follow through on your requests for investigation of these incidents.</p><p></p><p>This ghastly teacher traumatised your son. It's no wonder he became reactive in her presence - anybody would. A Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kid, especially. He shouldn't be punished for this teacher's bullying.</p><p></p><p>We had an incident like this with difficult child 3 - again, teacher-triggered. It escalated to the point where the school was assembling in the hall for a concert and difficult child 3 began throwing chairs at people. They DID NOT try physical restraint (that would have been a disaster) but instead they got the other kids out of there and called his class teacher and his aide, who could handle him. They talked him down until he was calmer, then he was taken to a quiet room while the rest of the school went back into the hall and watched the concert.</p><p></p><p>I really hate to think how bad it would have gotten, if they had tried physical restraint.</p><p></p><p>When you get a chance, if you haven't already, read "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time". it's not a how-to book, it's a novel and fiction, but told from the point of view of a fifteen-year-old Aspie. It's brilliant at showing you exactly why you need to know each particular kid, rather than trying to apply a blanket approach to all with that diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>Maybe tattoo on their heads in letters of fire, "Do not apply a physical restraint to a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child". Unless they already know that it's the best option FOR THAT CHILD. And it would be a rare Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child who that would work for, especially if the person applying the hold is the one person the kid wants to get away from.</p><p></p><p>No wonder he was too strong for people. That's what adrenalin does.</p><p></p><p>And Shari, I hope you understand that I'm not being critical of you when I say that this teacher has you conned - this is a problem I think for all of us, when we're struggling to sort out schooling, diagnosis, placement, all at once and we're being hassled by a bully in the picture somewhere. We're vulnerable, because we're desperately trying to get information from experts. Anyone who is an alleged expert in the field, is someone we will be primed to believe. I've been there done that myself, often. And seen it in others. </p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 226101, member: 1991"] Surely after this, the director will officially acknowledge the need? A suggestion, Shari - I think it's highly likely that once either of those two good teachers left, the bad teacher tried to do things the way SHE feels are right ie HER way (or the highway; and it turned out to be the highway). So what I suggest - use this as leverage. This shouldn't have happened. It was not only forseeable, you had warned specifically against allowing this woman to have access to your child. I do find it very difficult to believe that she would succeed where no other teacher could. Sorry - that won't wash. An able-bodied male couldn't do it? Then SHE shouldn't have tried. Sorry, you can physically pick up every other child and carry them out of there, rather than lay your hands on a probably Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child, especially one who is raging. So I would have a very hard talk to the director. "Madam, I did tell you that there were problems with this teacher and her daughter. We have had problem after problem, in every single case there has been a connection with these two teachers where one or both has escalated the problem to the point where he has been out of control. The two teachers who DO follow the recommendations I have made and who have independently found ways to get good performance out of him, have been repeatedly undermined and devalued by this woman. They had him working well. She comes in and suddenly it's crisis. I warned out about this. And now I'm told he can't stay at this school. As you know, the alternative is the public school. Now, if YOUR school, where he has had a 1:1, still says they can't handle him, then the VERY LEAST YOU OWE THIS CHILD is to officially inform the public school that a 1:1 is required. There has been a diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) made. I'm sorry you personally do not agree with this, but frankly, more qualified heads than yours have seen fit to make this diagnosis." Continue with, "If you had listened to me to begin with and acted on my complaints and concerns, we wouldn't be in this mess. But you didn't, and we are. And now my son is set up to fail, if you do not make this recommendation to the public school. They are expecting this, they have an IEP in draft already (with the possibility that this would happen, since we were beginning to get repeat problems due to this teacher continuing to stick her oar in even after I requested she stay away from my child)." You get my drift. If you have to use blackmail, then I would take in with you, and hand over at this point, a formal notice of intent to make formal complaint against this teacher (and maybe the school?) for their failure to keep your son safe and their failure to follow through on your requests for investigation of these incidents. This ghastly teacher traumatised your son. It's no wonder he became reactive in her presence - anybody would. A Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kid, especially. He shouldn't be punished for this teacher's bullying. We had an incident like this with difficult child 3 - again, teacher-triggered. It escalated to the point where the school was assembling in the hall for a concert and difficult child 3 began throwing chairs at people. They DID NOT try physical restraint (that would have been a disaster) but instead they got the other kids out of there and called his class teacher and his aide, who could handle him. They talked him down until he was calmer, then he was taken to a quiet room while the rest of the school went back into the hall and watched the concert. I really hate to think how bad it would have gotten, if they had tried physical restraint. When you get a chance, if you haven't already, read "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time". it's not a how-to book, it's a novel and fiction, but told from the point of view of a fifteen-year-old Aspie. It's brilliant at showing you exactly why you need to know each particular kid, rather than trying to apply a blanket approach to all with that diagnosis. Maybe tattoo on their heads in letters of fire, "Do not apply a physical restraint to a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child". Unless they already know that it's the best option FOR THAT CHILD. And it would be a rare Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) child who that would work for, especially if the person applying the hold is the one person the kid wants to get away from. No wonder he was too strong for people. That's what adrenalin does. And Shari, I hope you understand that I'm not being critical of you when I say that this teacher has you conned - this is a problem I think for all of us, when we're struggling to sort out schooling, diagnosis, placement, all at once and we're being hassled by a bully in the picture somewhere. We're vulnerable, because we're desperately trying to get information from experts. Anyone who is an alleged expert in the field, is someone we will be primed to believe. I've been there done that myself, often. And seen it in others. Marg [/QUOTE]
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