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General Parenting
WAY out of proportion!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 354819" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>The no speaking - very childish. Classic passive-aggressive.</p><p></p><p>When was it you were alleged to have said stuff about his mother? Was it before the trip? has he perhaps misheard something (who knows when) and been brooding about it, letting it build into huge resentment until he just won't believe you?</p><p></p><p>What happens in this situation if you directly confront him and say, "What is wrong? Talk to me!" ?</p><p></p><p>If he responds to this with opening up and talking about the problem, I would suggest you use this in the future as your first line of attack. "Never let the sun go down on your anger," as my mother used to say.</p><p></p><p>But if he responds to your direct approach with a muttered, "Nothing's wrong," then tell him, "If nothing is wrong then behave that way. If nothing is wrong then you have no reason to be moping."</p><p></p><p>Basically, if he won't come out and tell you what is wrong (if anything) then he has no right to behave this way. Put up, or shut up.</p><p></p><p>What you should never do, is buy into the "Guess why I'm angry with you" routine. It's a way of him trying to feed his own ego at your expense and have you running around after him. In his mind, if you can guess what he's upset about then you must be more closely connected to him after all and that reassures him. HE needs to be in control and in the driver's seat and this behaviour is his way of keeping you off balance and making you put him as the centre of attention.</p><p></p><p>As I said, very childish.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 354819, member: 1991"] The no speaking - very childish. Classic passive-aggressive. When was it you were alleged to have said stuff about his mother? Was it before the trip? has he perhaps misheard something (who knows when) and been brooding about it, letting it build into huge resentment until he just won't believe you? What happens in this situation if you directly confront him and say, "What is wrong? Talk to me!" ? If he responds to this with opening up and talking about the problem, I would suggest you use this in the future as your first line of attack. "Never let the sun go down on your anger," as my mother used to say. But if he responds to your direct approach with a muttered, "Nothing's wrong," then tell him, "If nothing is wrong then behave that way. If nothing is wrong then you have no reason to be moping." Basically, if he won't come out and tell you what is wrong (if anything) then he has no right to behave this way. Put up, or shut up. What you should never do, is buy into the "Guess why I'm angry with you" routine. It's a way of him trying to feed his own ego at your expense and have you running around after him. In his mind, if you can guess what he's upset about then you must be more closely connected to him after all and that reassures him. HE needs to be in control and in the driver's seat and this behaviour is his way of keeping you off balance and making you put him as the centre of attention. As I said, very childish. Marg [/QUOTE]
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