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Way too dependent
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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 374148" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>My difficult child isn't too independant either. His needs are unique of course but there are those average/typical 16 y.o. things he is a bit delayed in doing. It can be frustrating sometimes like when he is lonesome and needy which means husband and I cannot have a private conversation because he needs to be a part of everything and butts in. That neediness also translates into an affectionate kid who still wants a hug every night before bed unless he is mad at us for him being bad, lol. </p><p> </p><p>difficult child is sort of timid which really impacts his development, he is sort of sheltered. I can sense hesitation when crossing streets like he is still nervously in the *ooh scary* check both ways a 100 times stage like a much younger kid. He never really learned to swim because he is just too scared and lacking in confidence.</p><p> </p><p>So, yeah...we have some things that a typical teen would have learned, outgrown or lost interest in. He even played with legos until he was in 8th grade. (I don't see that as so bad) We also have a lot of things other kids his age don't. It's like he makes up for his deficiencies with a head start in other things. He seems to have no street smarts but a whole ton of common sense, if that even makes sense. He is capable of very mature thought and decisions when he slows down and uses his higher thought process. (though he usually shuts it down to be one of the crowd)</p><p> </p><p>I just chalk it all up to more difficult child quirkiness. Sometimes it is a bother but for the most part the mommy in me sees it as a small worry of things we still need to hover over and to give him encouragement while he develops at his own pace. *shrug* At least it isn't an outburst!! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Brief side story: difficult child had a habit of CONSTANTLY needing affection and reinforcement around the 3rd and 4th grade. He would literally need a hug at every commercial break during a t.v. show, a hug everytime someone was affectionate or romantic on a t.v. show, every time I walked into a room, in the middle of cooking dinner. It kind of worried me because it almost seemed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I also realized that to reject his affection would be hurtful even though I feared he may grow up "strange". I humored him and he did eventually grow out of it and is fine, he is also naturally huggy which is sweet and now it isn't at all out of place. Sometimes now he hugs me out of the blue when he is happy or maybe feeling bad about a behavior the previous day. When he felt secure he just sort of moved on from the obsessive super needy stage. Now he is just an average sweety and will probably need a wife someday who likes to cuddle, no harm in that. We are down from 30-50 hugs a day to like 3 at a maximum but usually just one, maybe two.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/laugh.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":laugh:" title="laugh :laugh:" data-shortname=":laugh:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 374148, member: 8617"] My difficult child isn't too independant either. His needs are unique of course but there are those average/typical 16 y.o. things he is a bit delayed in doing. It can be frustrating sometimes like when he is lonesome and needy which means husband and I cannot have a private conversation because he needs to be a part of everything and butts in. That neediness also translates into an affectionate kid who still wants a hug every night before bed unless he is mad at us for him being bad, lol. difficult child is sort of timid which really impacts his development, he is sort of sheltered. I can sense hesitation when crossing streets like he is still nervously in the *ooh scary* check both ways a 100 times stage like a much younger kid. He never really learned to swim because he is just too scared and lacking in confidence. So, yeah...we have some things that a typical teen would have learned, outgrown or lost interest in. He even played with legos until he was in 8th grade. (I don't see that as so bad) We also have a lot of things other kids his age don't. It's like he makes up for his deficiencies with a head start in other things. He seems to have no street smarts but a whole ton of common sense, if that even makes sense. He is capable of very mature thought and decisions when he slows down and uses his higher thought process. (though he usually shuts it down to be one of the crowd) I just chalk it all up to more difficult child quirkiness. Sometimes it is a bother but for the most part the mommy in me sees it as a small worry of things we still need to hover over and to give him encouragement while he develops at his own pace. *shrug* At least it isn't an outburst!! :winking: Brief side story: difficult child had a habit of CONSTANTLY needing affection and reinforcement around the 3rd and 4th grade. He would literally need a hug at every commercial break during a t.v. show, a hug everytime someone was affectionate or romantic on a t.v. show, every time I walked into a room, in the middle of cooking dinner. It kind of worried me because it almost seemed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I also realized that to reject his affection would be hurtful even though I feared he may grow up "strange". I humored him and he did eventually grow out of it and is fine, he is also naturally huggy which is sweet and now it isn't at all out of place. Sometimes now he hugs me out of the blue when he is happy or maybe feeling bad about a behavior the previous day. When he felt secure he just sort of moved on from the obsessive super needy stage. Now he is just an average sweety and will probably need a wife someday who likes to cuddle, no harm in that. We are down from 30-50 hugs a day to like 3 at a maximum but usually just one, maybe two.:funny: [/QUOTE]
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