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WE ARE DONE!!!!!! Update
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 76175" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>You've had some good advice, Karen.</p><p></p><p>When you say "we will sit down with the attorney," I hope you mean you and your brother in law. DO NOT include your hubby with the same attorney. He has to find his own.</p><p></p><p>It doesn't matter that you agreed it will be amicable - it still can be, it's HIS choice. Because your attorneys can't do anything without your permission (and his attorney can't try anything on without HIS permission).</p><p></p><p>I've said all along, this sounds so much like my sister's situation. He husband had been tomcatting around for years, it was about year 26 or 27 she caught HIM out - similar contrived stories, only his mistresses were literally across the world. And my sister was working two jobs to pay the phone bill, as well as many other things, because his business simply wasn't doing too well right then (lying toad).</p><p></p><p>When my ex-brother in law was caught out, he agreed to leave (eventually). While he was feeling guilty (and secretly rejoicing that his business was booming), he agreed to let my sister keep the house, as long as she kept paying the mortgage. They split their possessions - a lot of stuff that was shared, she was happy to let him have because it just wasn't her style. He kept the business - she couldn't run his trade, anyway. At the time it looked like a very generous split and she wasn't going to make a fuss, but thankfully my parents made her get them to put it in writing, because he did come back at a later stage wanting a share in the house after all. And because they had separate lawyers, no loopholes had been accidentally built into the paperwork. So he began to shaft her in other ways - small country town, she mentions she's thinking of selling a piano. So he sends a friend of his along (doesn't mention he's a friend - she found out later) who makes what he claims is a generous offer. She later finds out he paid about a tenth of what he should have.</p><p>A conman often has conmen for friends.</p><p></p><p>My ex-brother in law was initially feeling very generous, in attempting to salve his conscience. But it doesn't last. You need your own lawyer from the word go, to shield you against the day (from what you tell of him, it will be soon) when he no longer feels regret, he's just annoyed that you've thrown him out and are being so hard-hearted about it all (his point of view).</p><p></p><p>Nail things in place now. But make sure he has his own lawyer.</p><p></p><p>And if you haven't told the kids, how have you explained that Daddy is living with Uncle Jenny? And I'd love to know what Uncle Jenny thought about a drunken, distraught (allegedly non-existent) girlfriend in his bed next morning...</p><p></p><p>Have a good weekend, in spite of all this. Or maybe because of all this. Be good to yourself. It's time someone was.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 76175, member: 1991"] You've had some good advice, Karen. When you say "we will sit down with the attorney," I hope you mean you and your brother in law. DO NOT include your hubby with the same attorney. He has to find his own. It doesn't matter that you agreed it will be amicable - it still can be, it's HIS choice. Because your attorneys can't do anything without your permission (and his attorney can't try anything on without HIS permission). I've said all along, this sounds so much like my sister's situation. He husband had been tomcatting around for years, it was about year 26 or 27 she caught HIM out - similar contrived stories, only his mistresses were literally across the world. And my sister was working two jobs to pay the phone bill, as well as many other things, because his business simply wasn't doing too well right then (lying toad). When my ex-brother in law was caught out, he agreed to leave (eventually). While he was feeling guilty (and secretly rejoicing that his business was booming), he agreed to let my sister keep the house, as long as she kept paying the mortgage. They split their possessions - a lot of stuff that was shared, she was happy to let him have because it just wasn't her style. He kept the business - she couldn't run his trade, anyway. At the time it looked like a very generous split and she wasn't going to make a fuss, but thankfully my parents made her get them to put it in writing, because he did come back at a later stage wanting a share in the house after all. And because they had separate lawyers, no loopholes had been accidentally built into the paperwork. So he began to shaft her in other ways - small country town, she mentions she's thinking of selling a piano. So he sends a friend of his along (doesn't mention he's a friend - she found out later) who makes what he claims is a generous offer. She later finds out he paid about a tenth of what he should have. A conman often has conmen for friends. My ex-brother in law was initially feeling very generous, in attempting to salve his conscience. But it doesn't last. You need your own lawyer from the word go, to shield you against the day (from what you tell of him, it will be soon) when he no longer feels regret, he's just annoyed that you've thrown him out and are being so hard-hearted about it all (his point of view). Nail things in place now. But make sure he has his own lawyer. And if you haven't told the kids, how have you explained that Daddy is living with Uncle Jenny? And I'd love to know what Uncle Jenny thought about a drunken, distraught (allegedly non-existent) girlfriend in his bed next morning... Have a good weekend, in spite of all this. Or maybe because of all this. Be good to yourself. It's time someone was. Marg [/QUOTE]
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