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<blockquote data-quote="totoro" data-source="post: 221305" data-attributes="member: 3155"><p>I think as Fran put it once you agree to hold the Financial Strings you are held accountable. This is so true and such a huge decision and one that I think is not taken lightly. </p><p>Some of our kids are able with therapy, maybe medications and outside help or whetever means we can give them prior to them turning 18, to live and fully flourish on there own. </p><p>Some just can't. It is not a matter or won't or will not. Yes this is true for some. But some kids just can't... They can do some of the stuff, but to live successfully on their own, not likely gonna happen. </p><p>Heck even I was not good at living on my own, not because I *didn't want * to or was spoiled or was a brat.</p><p>I was on food stamps, I did live in dumps. I did what it took. But that also meant, putting myself in huge debt making lots of stupid decisions that someone who was not manic would not have done. I could not keep jobs. Not because I didn't want them or couldn't work hard. I didn't know how to keep myself stable, I didn't know how to work on no sleep, I couldn't. </p><p>I am sorry but it is impossible to work when you are going out of your mind. </p><p>When you are addicted to drugs, to make the voices go away, or make the pain go away. </p><p>When the medications are making you sick, when you can't wake up, or think... </p><p>When you are socially clueless, when you have the mental capacity of a 12 yo. </p><p></p><p>There are so many reasons why some of our kids can not live and fully function on there own and MAY need our help or someone elses for the rest of their lives. It does not make it wrong, it is just life.</p><p></p><p>We were told by one Doctor that K will never be able live on her own. Because she is unable to separate fantasy from reality. I am not willing to accept this yet, we will see.</p><p></p><p>Nomad, I think you are doing a great job looking at the whole picture and taking your time, over reacting is sometimes worse that no reaction and vice versa. </p><p>Each child is different and getting lots of advice is good, like it has been said many times here, take what you need and leave the rest... <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p></p><p>PS: I ended up with a difficult child and we do help balance each other and this is how I survive! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="totoro, post: 221305, member: 3155"] I think as Fran put it once you agree to hold the Financial Strings you are held accountable. This is so true and such a huge decision and one that I think is not taken lightly. Some of our kids are able with therapy, maybe medications and outside help or whetever means we can give them prior to them turning 18, to live and fully flourish on there own. Some just can't. It is not a matter or won't or will not. Yes this is true for some. But some kids just can't... They can do some of the stuff, but to live successfully on their own, not likely gonna happen. Heck even I was not good at living on my own, not because I *didn't want * to or was spoiled or was a brat. I was on food stamps, I did live in dumps. I did what it took. But that also meant, putting myself in huge debt making lots of stupid decisions that someone who was not manic would not have done. I could not keep jobs. Not because I didn't want them or couldn't work hard. I didn't know how to keep myself stable, I didn't know how to work on no sleep, I couldn't. I am sorry but it is impossible to work when you are going out of your mind. When you are addicted to drugs, to make the voices go away, or make the pain go away. When the medications are making you sick, when you can't wake up, or think... When you are socially clueless, when you have the mental capacity of a 12 yo. There are so many reasons why some of our kids can not live and fully function on there own and MAY need our help or someone elses for the rest of their lives. It does not make it wrong, it is just life. We were told by one Doctor that K will never be able live on her own. Because she is unable to separate fantasy from reality. I am not willing to accept this yet, we will see. Nomad, I think you are doing a great job looking at the whole picture and taking your time, over reacting is sometimes worse that no reaction and vice versa. Each child is different and getting lots of advice is good, like it has been said many times here, take what you need and leave the rest... :) PS: I ended up with a difficult child and we do help balance each other and this is how I survive! :) [/QUOTE]
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