We are moved in and the kids are too nice!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by daralex, Apr 27, 2008.

  1. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    we finally got all settled in from the big move. difficult child started a new public school (I've been homeschooling since October) and now she can't make any friends because they're too nice! It seems she has relied on her bad a** ways to attract friends and all of these kids are "nice"! Well mom, they don't curse, they don't make fun of others, and they don't smoke or talk about sex (Finally a normal neighborhood!!!) I feel so badly that she is having such a hard time making new friends, but becuase of her bad a** ways - she has become the queen of 8th grade! The other kids think she's "cool" but are afraid of her at the same time! I really never realized how much her socialization revolved around her being a rough kid - it's actually her tool to make friends! Anyone else dealing with this? Jen, by the way (or anyone else on Long Island) Northport rocks! They started testing her without me even asking and are now sending home weekly progress reports! She hates the school, but I love it!!!
  2. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Dara, welcome back! It's good to "see" you.

    Glad to hear that you've settled in from the move, and that your daughter is in a good school with "normal" children.

    Here's hoping that she learns other ways to make friends, based on the example set by her school peers.

  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    My daughter, who is now almost 24, moved to a new neighborhood in seventh grade. She had always been shy, and most kids already had their cliques. The nice kids, especially, had their friends and ignored her. She ate alone in the lunchroom until the "bad" kids started befriending her. I guess misery loves company and wants more. My daughter started using drugs as a way to attract friends and the scary thing is...it worked. She became the most popular kid at school amongst those who didn't shun that sort of behavior (and a surprising amount of kids, even nice kids, did not shun it). It was NOT a good thing and lead to more trouble. I don't know what to tell you to do, but I CAN empathize.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sounds like your daughter will maybe feel some peer pressure in a positive way. Glad the school is cooperative and helpful, even if she doesn't like it now.

    Enjoy your new home and Welcome Back!!!!!!

  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi, congrats on the move.
    The only thing I can suggest is to keep her rubbing shoulders with-everyone, that is, keep her in group activities with-them like sports, hobbies, something where there's an adult in charge of the parameters, and eventually, she'll naturally gravitate toward someone. Maybe a birthday party will pop up and she'll be invited. You can't rush things like this. Just be happy she's in with-a good crowd! :laugh:
  6. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    Thanks for the advice/support - it's so nice to be back!!!! I don't know what I would do without all the support. You guys are the family I always wished I'd had!
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    daralex, if we all had the family we wish we had, would any of be on this bb? LOL.
  8. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity


  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad to hear of the positives!