We got N into an Anxiety Clinic.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by totoro, Nov 18, 2008.

  1. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    After talking to my psychiatrist, K's therapist and e-mailing K's psychiatrist who is faculty at the Hospital where the Clinic is.
    They all agreed N needs to be evaluation'd.
    The School is *evaling* her, but they are not used to a kid like her and husband and I thing they don't really know what to do with her. She is academically fine and well behaved... just like K was.

    N is not showing the same signs that K did.

    She is so anxious and we realize that some of her issues are a result of K's violence and extreme rages.
    But N has had issues for a couple of years now. But just like K, we were told we were just looking for a problem.

    So the poor kid is:

    Spinning more
    picking her head, thinks she has sand in it... (not lice!LOL)
    wetting her bed more
    having nightmares
    coming into our bed multiple times a week
    worried about everything
    scared of everything
    increase fear/ sensitivity to noise
    fear of school bathroom
    fear of wearing certain clothes to school (dress will go down toilet, shoe with ties or velcro may get rocks on them and she will have to ask for help)
    Will only wear pull up pants and slip on shoes

    for lunch I can't send her with anything that is difficult to open, she may have to ask for help.
    She works herself up with all of the what if's prior to school, does not want to go to school.
    but once at school she does OK, it is the building up of fears beforehand that is the problem.

    She is obsessing about weird things. At night she will start sobbing, "i don't want to have baby". "Mommy what if a Meteor hits us"
    Cluttering worse

    Is terrified of our outdoor fire pit

    has bolted from us when scared ran in terror

    The list goes on and on....

    She has a cough the past 2 days and wet her bed last night. She did not sleep hardly at all. So she missed school yesterday and today.
    She is happy as a clam, playing happily by herself and watching TV cuddling with me.
    She loves quiet, predictable, non-chaotic.
    She loved her school in Idaho, Montessori, it was small, and a small private bathroom.

    So I called this clinic expecting to be on a wait list or at least 6 months out. I used K's psychiatrist's name. They had an opening next Wednesday! Day before Thanksgiving... I took it.
    Get it over with.

    I am so nervous. She is my baby. She is like a little fragile bird. If you raise your voice at her she acts like she is going to break.

    Yet she can be such a little PITA!
    Wish us luck and I will keep you all posted.

    by the way: this is the same psychiatric Hospital where we took K that had the horrible psychiatrist!!! But he is NOT involved in this clinic at all!!! K's current psychiatrist is on the faculty as well here and hates him!
  2. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    ((HUGS)) Good Luck! I sure hope you find the answers you need.

    Ya know, I just want to slap anyone who says I'm just "looking for a problem". Uh NOT.
  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Ah, hugs. At least you don't have too long to wait.

    How old was K when she was first diagnosis'ed?
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad you were able to get an appointment so quickly! Sending hugs and prayers that this will be a good fit for N, and she'll be better able to handle her fears. Miss KT still does the "what ifs?" and gets herself all stressed. It's so hard when there's no way to convince them it will be all right.
  5. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    I can not imagin how you are feeling. Bless you for hanging in there and taking the time and the effort to do what may help your little one.
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Shari K was diagnosis'd with sensory processing disorder (SPD) first after she turned 5. She is 7.5 now. Next she was evaled by a Nuero-psychiatric and given possible diagnosis'es... Then we went to Chicago and she was officially diagnosis'd with her Mood-Disorder
    So all within 6 months of her turning 5. But like N we had been asking questions from about the time she was 2-2.5 yo.
    N was diagnosis'd sensory processing disorder (SPD) about 1.5 or 2 years ago.
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Toto -

    MY BABY IS NOT A PITA.....you...you just...you just send her here to her Auntie Star. (I dont' need hair anyway) - long hair highly overrated. lol

    I know this sounds lame but have you ever considered taking her to a hearing clinic? How about ear plugs? I have such a sensitivity to noise and even some vibrations it makes me jump. Wonder if there is something in her hearing that makes her startle so easy. you know there IS a startle disease? No kidding.

    Send my love to both girls - and tell N I didn't hug her like I did K - I instead gave butterfly kisses and eskimo kisses.

    What would cause a little baby to have that much anxiety????Hmmmm....now I'm researching. And you tell her from me - I ABSOLUTELY liked my private potty better than the community one - eesch - I think she's spot on about that!

  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

  10. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    OK I do not like the Sandhoff Disease!

    I know she is not a PITA... I love her with short hair as well... and she is happier!

    We are thinking Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and some form of PTSD as well.
    We had her hearing checked just when she was little.

    Who knows? We have noise canceling headphones for her. She gets used to some noises after hearing them for awhile, like the coffee grinder and the toaster.

    But the bathtub still freaks her out. Echoey... even our toilet flushing.

    She will hear something, startle, jump and get wide eyed or grab husband or me and yell "What is that?"

    I have had her jump off of the self flushers mid-stream!
    I learned what my girlfriend calls the *German hold* Where you hold them facing the toilet but above it! You have to tilt them downward a bit... or it will shoot al over the back... tee-hee
    It works great out in the woods!!!
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    She sounds like me when I was little.

    The temperamental, budding artist. Princess and the Pea.

    Don't know much about cluttering. Does she have fine motor control issues? (I'm wondering about rocks in her shoe laces.)

    The other issues ... does she respect doctors and their advice? Can you tell her that the dr said that if she picks at sand in her hair, it will make it worse? You can buy her Head and Shoulders and tell her that sand and dandruff are both forms of psoriasis or seborrea or something ... Maybe give her permission only to pick at her hair for a set amt of time ea day. She has to sit in a special chair and pick. If she doesn't want to, that's the goal! (I actually read that in a Rosemond column.)

    I used to worry about things going down the toilet, too. When I was her age, we had to wear uniforms--red and gray plaid *wool( (scratchy) jumpers and white blouses, and gray tams. A friend and I were throwing our tams in the girl's restroom, like frisbees, and of course, mine sailed over the top of a stall and landed right in a toilet. When I went to retrieve it, it turned out that someone had thrown up in that toilet! Probably the only time I've *wanted* my clothing to be flushed down the toilet! LOL! I retrieved it and washed it and then had my mom send it to the cleaners, and despite all that, I never wore it again.

    I would suggest some practice runs with-the toilet, for example. "Accidentally" flush something of minor value down the toilet while she's watching (a cheap plastic kid's ring maybe), and get upset, but after a minute, say with-a shrug, "Well, I can always buy a new one." (ring, not toilet!) LOL.

    Really, she reminds me of myself at that age. Except my speech was okay.
    I cried constantly. I hated my clothes--tags, etc.
    I loved peace and quiet. I hid in small spaces. Loved being under beds.

    My mom wanted to take me to a psychiatric. My dad said to leave me alone. (Thank you, Dad!)

    It's a fine line, figuring out which issues to tackle and which ones to leave alone. If she's got something bigger, you want to catch it early of course. Glad you got the appointment b4 Thanksgiving!
  12. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Well good news!!! Hopefully they will be able to do some occupational therapy with her that helps her be able to cope in the every day world a bit better. I think this is one of the things that is been deemed for helped for kids like this.

    She actually sounds like me as a child as well - OMG I drove my parents crazy. They used to call me the Princess and a the Pea, (which made me really mad, still does) - but I know I was an intense, overly sensitive kid.

    Hugs. :peaceful:
  13. Jena

    Jena New Member


    I"m so sorry i'm late to this. I had no idea N worried that much, poor little thing. When I read the list it was if I was reading about my difficult child not so long ago.

    I"m glad to hear that you will be having her evaluated. It does infact sound like Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). I hope you get some answers and some ideas on how to move forward to help her.

    Sending you, N, and K hugs
  14. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm glad you got her in right away.
  15. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    She has done a year of Occupational Therapist (OT). We still work with her a lot. She is very under-stimmed.

    She has gotten better about some things, she used to toe walk really bad. She used to hum non-stop, now it is just weird noises when excited.
    She would lie on the floor for 1/2 hour at a time just humming and stroking her blankie. Get up move to a different place...
    She hand flapped more than now.

    The things she does do not bother me so much, it is that she is in constant fear and un-happy, in certain situations.

    Life should not be so hard for a 4 yo.

    We have been working on the potty for 2 years now.

    Thanks for all of the support everyone! Now I just wait and worry...
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I've got my fingers crossed for your, Totoro. I know what it feels like to wait!
    She sounds like a sweetie, albeit a PITA at times. :) High maintenance. :)
  17. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    If she spins, picks at her skin and obsesses...and has already been diagnosed with sensory processing disorder I'd want her evaluated for Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). I hope they have an expert on that on her team because she sure has some red flags. Anxiety is a huge symptom of Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) too as would be sensory processing disorder (SPD) and obsessing. I would think a neuropsychologist would be better than a psychiatrist...it was for us. We had a mood disorder diagnosis. too, but it was wrong.
    I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). It rarely, if ever, stands alone. It can be very debilitating though. I was terrified to go to school. I thought I would pass out. I used to run out of class to the nurse's office all the time.
    Good luck.
  18. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    MWM- I know, sigh. But yes this place, in the same clinic is the pre-school evaluation team for spectrum issues and they have full Nuero-psychiatric evaluations as well. This was the starting point...
    This is where they could get us in the first and fastest. The expert that K's psychiatrist1 from Chicago suggested is a psychiatrist who specializes in Autism and we would see her next. He husband is also on the Faculty and he treats older children.
  19. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hey ;) Hang in there. It took us until our son was 11 years old to get the diagnosis. It's very frustrating--many professionals are so skittish on diagnoses, and then we can't get services. But it sounds like you are lightyears ahead of us and that your little one has a really good start in school. (((Hugs)))
  20. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I am so so sorry N spends much of her time being so unhappy. I have faith that you and your husband will find the right help for her.

    I do not feel nearly as alone as I did before I read this thread.

    I also hid in small spaces as a kid, i can remember spending HOURS hiding under a desk as a kid. With a book and a blanket and my kanga I was just fine.

    But I worried a LOT. I HATED any kind of arguments - my parents had to keep quiet to go outside where I couldn't hear to have a disagreement - I would be inconsolable. It was REALLY REALLY hard with a gfgbro iin the house. HE thrived on chaos and conflama. And I really didn't thrive on them.

    It wasn't easy to be my parents. BUt, even after all these years, my family still treats me as "overreacting Susie" - even when almost every single thing they said I was exaggerating about or overreacting on ended up being right. It really WAS as bad as I said, and really DID need to be addressed.

    I know you will take care so that N does not feel dismissed as I did, and I think it is absolutely incredible the way you work with N and K so that BOTH their needs are met.

    (I know this thread wasn't to gather kudos, but you really are a terrific parent and an inspiration!)

    Hugs to N and K from Auntie Susie, and if they can, can they ask Aunt Abbey to quit using my cat as a hat?? She has a Dr. Seuss theme and Star said she stole my cat to wear as a hat.