We have hit turbulence...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by PatriotsGirl, Feb 22, 2015.

  1. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I couldn't make it to church this morning because I am still fighting this virus and don't want to pass it around. So I texted one of the ladies I met previously from the church (C) to ask her to let M know why I wasn't there. C says absolutely - she will let her know...
    Well, C texted me after church and said M told her that her upcoming visitation has been revoked. All she could share was that she was told she wasn't working her program. Not sure what happened within a week but I am confident it is just a bump....I will call her caseworker tomorrow to get the details...
     
  2. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It could be something small. I know when my Difficult Child was in rehab they lost privileges for things like not making the bed or cleaning up their rooms.

    I will keep my fingers crossed that it all it is.

    ~Kathy
     
  3. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I am hoping....I know askew had been written up for small things - a girl asked to borrow her coat and M got wrote up for letting her, she got wrote up for cussing once - neither I would consider a major infraction, but they know what they are doing and I trust the process...
     
  4. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Not sharing clothes was also a rule at my daughter's rehab. I wonder why that is important.

    My daughter thought it was a "stupid rule" and did it anyway. Unfortunately, that was a sign that my daughter was not on the road to recovery. She was still defiant and trying to have things her way. One of the ways I will know that my daughter is serious about being sober is when she is willing to follow the rules whether she likes them or not.
     
  5. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ugh I hate those slip ups. When I was involved in going to open AA meetings it was interesting to hear the men talk about their experiences in their recovery houses and all the rules they had to follow and how in the beginning they thought some of them were so stupid and they finally got that until they could surrender and follow the rules of the house they were not ready to surrender and follow the program.
     
  6. There is a lot of rules which sounds stupid but they have them based on experience. If the clients borrow clothes from each other they could pass drugs around hidden in the clothes. Of course it has properly only happened in 1 case out of 1,000 in some other program but like we are learning from each others experience the rehabs exchange workers and learn from each other.
     
  7. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Just talked to her case worker. M was minimizing her addiction again, feeling that because she has been clean that she is good and was getting a little argumentative with staff so that is why her visitation was taken. But she is okay - caseworker saw her a few times over the weekend and she was fine. She said not once has M ever said she wanted to leave and she does not get that impression at all. Just a blip. Case worker is not worried about M at all and says she thinks M is going to get through this program a changed woman. I reminded her caseworker that M was clean for at least 8 months when she relapsed! A lot longer than she has been clean this time...that right there should tell her just because you are clean doesn't mean you are healed. Caseworker said it is a very hard program there (she has been there a few years - completed the program and stayed on to be a caseworker) but it is near impossible to get thrown out so not to worry about that. Worse thing that will happen is that she will have to start over at day 1 again, which will be a blow since she has now been there 2 months, but they know what they are doing and I trust their program...

    I will still be able to see her at church on Sunday so I will definitely go..
     
  8. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Well I am glad to hear that it was something small like impatience and irritation instead of a major slip.
     
  9. Childofmine

    Childofmine trying to do this thing one day at a time Staff Member

    I think a program that is very hard to get thrown out of is the kind of program they all should be. Having said that I also realize that is they aren't ready, it's not going to work no matter what. I am very glad your daughter seems to be ready PG and if she has to start it all over again that would not be a bad thing. You can't get too much recovery. Warm hugs. Relax into this. She is right where she needs to be and somebody else is in charge.
     
  10. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Oh I am not worked up in the least. I honestly do not see her leaving and she has no desire to. She had a bad day - we all have them. They just have to be absolutely strict for a reason and I get that. The fact that she accepted the fact that she lost visitation for the week and is moving on is HUGE. I am just sitting back and trusting the process...

    :)
     
  11. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    I think the best program my son has been in was the most recent one..... long term and paid by the state... and it was a very hard program to finish. In fact it seems that over time most people get thrown out but those you make it through really make it through. And they gave my son a lot of chances and he actually made it through 7 months of that program And once someone is thrown out they have to be out for a year but then often they can go back..... I could see my son doing that program again some day..... so the program she is in sounds really good.
     
  12. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    It truly is an amazing program! I was so excited to see our church partnering with Chili's to donate to them. :)

    I got her letter yesterday explaining that she had her visitation revoked. She understood why, accepted it and said she was going to use that time to work on herself and re-focus. That right there speaks VOLUMES about where she is at mentally. Old M would have said "F" this and walked out. She is in her third month there now and I am still so super proud of her - even with her little set back. :)
     
  13. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I did get the 5 minute phone call yesterday which I was surprised about but a very happy surprise! She sounded so upbeat and just great!

    Very cute - husband has always been the boo boo man - and she has had many boo boos growing up...lol. She told me to tell him that she cut her finger yesterday and when she cut her finger, she wanted her daddy! <3 Something has changed in her as far as how she views her dad. I can't explain it - but it is better - much better and he hasn't talked to her nor seen her. She really misses him and can't wait until he can make it to visitation...maybe we are all going to come out of this better and stronger... :)
     
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  14. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    That is sweet about the "Boo Boo Man", smile. No doubt your M had alot of Boo Boo's growing up as I am sure she was as much a risk-taker as both of my son's have been! Would be so nice if we could just "kiss it away"...but with ours. ugh, "toughlove" seems to be the correct answer...and maybe M is starting to understand that about dad...I don't know...just a guess.

    You sound so optomistic PG!...and that puts a smile on my face.
    hugs,
    LMS
     
  15. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I talked to her caseworker yesterday - M is still doing really good. :)

    Oh yeah, she had NO fear growing up...lol...
     
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  16. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

    I just can't get over what an amazing program this sounds like. I'm glad she just had a minor blip, sounds like she's doing great!
     
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