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Substance Abuse
We have talked about the balance of enabling vs helping
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<blockquote data-quote="rebelson" data-source="post: 689965" data-attributes="member: 19966"><p>It's amazing what certain 'self-talk' (verbiage) can do to give us some short-lived peace. I say short-lived because to be honest, I think about my son often throughout the day. Some days more than others. And, so I now find it somewhat helpful to tell myself...'there is nothing I can do, it's <em>on</em> <em>him</em>.' </p><p></p><p>I am my person, he is his. I make my decisions and <em>he makes</em> <em>his now, </em>he's 23 almost 24. He is just over 60 days clean, in sober living and has this fresh start. What will he do with it? Not sure and it's out of my hands. Last night, he had a 1am curfew. Had gotten his car back 2 days prior. I guess has 'cabin fever'. So, he drove 30 minutes north to see a 'friend'. This friend was one of his druggy friends a few yrs back and I know just several months back, they were together at the beach having some beers. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/cautious.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":cautious:" title="cautious :cautious:" data-shortname=":cautious:" /> I expressed concern at his plan and he told me '<em>don't worry, he's been clean and he's living with his dad now..I needed to get out, I've been cooped up for 2 months</em>.' </p><p></p><p>Today, I have been obsessing a little bit, but for me, it's improved. Still. I <em>don't like</em> this feeling. </p><p></p><p>It DOES give me serenity to remind myself that there is nothing I can do, it's on him. He's 60+ days clean, if he wants to keep it that way, he can. If not, then he won't.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rebelson, post: 689965, member: 19966"] It's amazing what certain 'self-talk' (verbiage) can do to give us some short-lived peace. I say short-lived because to be honest, I think about my son often throughout the day. Some days more than others. And, so I now find it somewhat helpful to tell myself...'there is nothing I can do, it's [I]on[/I] [I]him[/I].' I am my person, he is his. I make my decisions and [I]he makes[/I] [I]his now, [/I]he's 23 almost 24. He is just over 60 days clean, in sober living and has this fresh start. What will he do with it? Not sure and it's out of my hands. Last night, he had a 1am curfew. Had gotten his car back 2 days prior. I guess has 'cabin fever'. So, he drove 30 minutes north to see a 'friend'. This friend was one of his druggy friends a few yrs back and I know just several months back, they were together at the beach having some beers. :cautious: I expressed concern at his plan and he told me '[I]don't worry, he's been clean and he's living with his dad now..I needed to get out, I've been cooped up for 2 months[/I].' Today, I have been obsessing a little bit, but for me, it's improved. Still. I [I]don't like[/I] this feeling. It DOES give me serenity to remind myself that there is nothing I can do, it's on him. He's 60+ days clean, if he wants to keep it that way, he can. If not, then he won't. [/QUOTE]
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We have talked about the balance of enabling vs helping
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