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We know where my daughter is
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 222990" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>It killed me to detach. The last thing I wanted for my beloved daughter was for her to be missing, homeless, in a carnival, living with who knows what ... However, I knew the only way I could help her was to force her to see what life was like without any supports. It was hard, so very, very hard. However, it did help her. She did learn. She did try to do better living at home. She did grow up a little. I was there when she was trying to help herself and that made it good for both of us (not great but good).</p><p> </p><p>Bran, in your case, you need to detach for your daughter to see that she has choices -- to get the medical help she needs, to take the necessary medication, to take responsibility for her actions. She can't learn that as long as she has that soft place to land. So, by detaching you're helping her the best way you can. You're forcing her to make choices. Here's hoping she follows through with treatment and taking her medications. If not, keep detaching from her behavior but keep loving her. Always let her know that when and if she is ready to help herself, you'll be her number one cheerleader and you'll help her all you can.</p><p> </p><p>Detaching isn't easy but I did find it helped to remember I was detaching from my child's choices, not my child. It also helped keep the lines of communication open when she was ready to change. I'm tired and rambling and repeating myself, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, many hugs. I know how hard this is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 222990, member: 3626"] It killed me to detach. The last thing I wanted for my beloved daughter was for her to be missing, homeless, in a carnival, living with who knows what ... However, I knew the only way I could help her was to force her to see what life was like without any supports. It was hard, so very, very hard. However, it did help her. She did learn. She did try to do better living at home. She did grow up a little. I was there when she was trying to help herself and that made it good for both of us (not great but good). Bran, in your case, you need to detach for your daughter to see that she has choices -- to get the medical help she needs, to take the necessary medication, to take responsibility for her actions. She can't learn that as long as she has that soft place to land. So, by detaching you're helping her the best way you can. You're forcing her to make choices. Here's hoping she follows through with treatment and taking her medications. If not, keep detaching from her behavior but keep loving her. Always let her know that when and if she is ready to help herself, you'll be her number one cheerleader and you'll help her all you can. Detaching isn't easy but I did find it helped to remember I was detaching from my child's choices, not my child. It also helped keep the lines of communication open when she was ready to change. I'm tired and rambling and repeating myself, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. Anyway, many hugs. I know how hard this is. [/QUOTE]
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