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We need an exorcism
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<blockquote data-quote="pigless in VA" data-source="post: 681301" data-attributes="member: 11832"><p>Roxona,</p><p></p><p>The bike purchase is definitely a step back, but your husband feels guilt due to the death of the boy's mother. Remember to bring this up with the counselor. Maybe the counselor can help husband to see how that encourages SS10 to rage. </p><p></p><p>Your family is somewhat like mine with some flip-flopping of roles. I am like your husband. My husband passed early and I was a more permissive parent. My SO is more like you; he willingly stepped in to our lives, and he has a more strict way of parenting the kids. We are still working on finding more middle ground with the parenting decisions. It is slowly improving.</p><p></p><p> Ferb was much like SS10. I first joined the CD board when Ferb was in kindergarten, I believe. It was a long time ago. His rages were what sent me searching the internet for help. It has been a long, hard, twisted road, but Ferb has finally matured into someone who can now handle his anger appropriately. Ferb has been in therapy since he was 8. </p><p></p><p>Onward to SS10. First positive, he was in his room raging. He was not hitting anyone. You can work with that. When Ferb was younger, it took me years to contain the rages in his room. I was attacked many, many times. </p><p></p><p>I put things in Ferb's room which he could destroy. The therapists all disagreed with me on that, but his anger was so intense that he needed appropriate outlets for it. Punching pillows didn't work for him. I didn't allow him to have a television in his room until he could contain his anger to specific items. I was always afraid he would injure himself in his rages. He broke a lot of toys. He learned gradually that his anger had consequences. </p><p></p><p>Eventually, I moved his rages to outside. There he was allowed to punch an punching bag which we hung from the swingset. Again, the therapist did not like this idea. It worked for Ferb. He would go out and wail on the punching bag until he tired himself out. No damage, no injury. I hung a tarp over the bag to keep the rain off. </p><p></p><p>It is my personal opinion that when a boy is in a rage, he will say many hateful things that he doesn't mean. For Ferb, once we found him more appropriate way to vent that anger, the nasty words began to dissipate. You have to remember that Ferb was also hearing his father say similar things during similar rages. Ferb did not have the luxury of a good role model. It's been a long, slow road to improvement for him. </p><p></p><p>Does SS10 rage at school?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pigless in VA, post: 681301, member: 11832"] Roxona, The bike purchase is definitely a step back, but your husband feels guilt due to the death of the boy's mother. Remember to bring this up with the counselor. Maybe the counselor can help husband to see how that encourages SS10 to rage. Your family is somewhat like mine with some flip-flopping of roles. I am like your husband. My husband passed early and I was a more permissive parent. My SO is more like you; he willingly stepped in to our lives, and he has a more strict way of parenting the kids. We are still working on finding more middle ground with the parenting decisions. It is slowly improving. Ferb was much like SS10. I first joined the CD board when Ferb was in kindergarten, I believe. It was a long time ago. His rages were what sent me searching the internet for help. It has been a long, hard, twisted road, but Ferb has finally matured into someone who can now handle his anger appropriately. Ferb has been in therapy since he was 8. Onward to SS10. First positive, he was in his room raging. He was not hitting anyone. You can work with that. When Ferb was younger, it took me years to contain the rages in his room. I was attacked many, many times. I put things in Ferb's room which he could destroy. The therapists all disagreed with me on that, but his anger was so intense that he needed appropriate outlets for it. Punching pillows didn't work for him. I didn't allow him to have a television in his room until he could contain his anger to specific items. I was always afraid he would injure himself in his rages. He broke a lot of toys. He learned gradually that his anger had consequences. Eventually, I moved his rages to outside. There he was allowed to punch an punching bag which we hung from the swingset. Again, the therapist did not like this idea. It worked for Ferb. He would go out and wail on the punching bag until he tired himself out. No damage, no injury. I hung a tarp over the bag to keep the rain off. It is my personal opinion that when a boy is in a rage, he will say many hateful things that he doesn't mean. For Ferb, once we found him more appropriate way to vent that anger, the nasty words began to dissipate. You have to remember that Ferb was also hearing his father say similar things during similar rages. Ferb did not have the luxury of a good role model. It's been a long, slow road to improvement for him. Does SS10 rage at school? [/QUOTE]
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