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We need an exorcism
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<blockquote data-quote="Roxona" data-source="post: 681400" data-attributes="member: 19076"><p>It's not that he is a big supporter of punishment. We have tried so many different things...positive reinforcement, charts with positive rewards, natural consequences, compliments when doing something appropriate, extra chores, time outs, etc. Dad tries to stay away from corporal punishment, and I don't use it at all. If we give him a treat as a positive reward, he will try to negotiate for something different. In the end, anything positive we do ends up being a fight to get something more or something different, and when he doesn't get it, we all start to get edgy and tell him to stop. When he will not stop, he starts making people angry and then he gets sent to his room because he has pushed everyone over the edge. He also thinks he should get a prize for everything he does. I don't agree with this. He's 10 years old. He doesn't need to get a prize for flushing the toilet or brushing his teeth. There has to be some other way.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree social opportunities are good, and he has plenty of them all day long...at school and playing with the neighbor kids. However, SS10 has a difficult time getting along with others, so a lot of kids will not play with him anymore...or, like last Friday, they will gang up on him and spit on him. It's horrible. I feel awful that he has things like this happen to him, but he treats them that way and has been awful to so many people, that now we're starting to see them retaliate against him. I have had to stop working because his behavior was such a problem with after school care.</p><p></p><p>As for owing going to bed early...SS10 will not stay in bed. He gets up and complains about something every single night, or tells us he has somethings important to tell us, or plays with the animals, or plays in his room. He used to go downstairs to play videogames all night long and eat snacks, but we put an alarm on the stairs to wake us when he did. He will do this all night long, and then be even more difficult to deal with the whole next day because he didn't get enough sleep. He doesn't want to go to sleep...I get that, but he has to in order to function and not drive everyone crazy. At one point he was even on sleeping medication, but it wasn't helping. We've put a good routine in place. He showers, brushes teeth, reduces stimulus before going to bed, reads for 30 minutes, and then lights out. Instead, he will whine about going to bed, pick on his brother and cause chaos, make every excuse not to go to bed, and then keep getting up. Rinse, repeat, every single night. Dad decided to put him to bed early until he can stay in bed. If anyone has a better idea, I'm all ears. I would love to know if there some other way because I'm all out of ideas. SS6 isn't this way and neither was J.</p><p></p><p>Everything is a battle. This child is like playing chess, and I feel like we always have to stay five moves ahead of him at all times.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Roxona, post: 681400, member: 19076"] It's not that he is a big supporter of punishment. We have tried so many different things...positive reinforcement, charts with positive rewards, natural consequences, compliments when doing something appropriate, extra chores, time outs, etc. Dad tries to stay away from corporal punishment, and I don't use it at all. If we give him a treat as a positive reward, he will try to negotiate for something different. In the end, anything positive we do ends up being a fight to get something more or something different, and when he doesn't get it, we all start to get edgy and tell him to stop. When he will not stop, he starts making people angry and then he gets sent to his room because he has pushed everyone over the edge. He also thinks he should get a prize for everything he does. I don't agree with this. He's 10 years old. He doesn't need to get a prize for flushing the toilet or brushing his teeth. There has to be some other way. I agree social opportunities are good, and he has plenty of them all day long...at school and playing with the neighbor kids. However, SS10 has a difficult time getting along with others, so a lot of kids will not play with him anymore...or, like last Friday, they will gang up on him and spit on him. It's horrible. I feel awful that he has things like this happen to him, but he treats them that way and has been awful to so many people, that now we're starting to see them retaliate against him. I have had to stop working because his behavior was such a problem with after school care. As for owing going to bed early...SS10 will not stay in bed. He gets up and complains about something every single night, or tells us he has somethings important to tell us, or plays with the animals, or plays in his room. He used to go downstairs to play videogames all night long and eat snacks, but we put an alarm on the stairs to wake us when he did. He will do this all night long, and then be even more difficult to deal with the whole next day because he didn't get enough sleep. He doesn't want to go to sleep...I get that, but he has to in order to function and not drive everyone crazy. At one point he was even on sleeping medication, but it wasn't helping. We've put a good routine in place. He showers, brushes teeth, reduces stimulus before going to bed, reads for 30 minutes, and then lights out. Instead, he will whine about going to bed, pick on his brother and cause chaos, make every excuse not to go to bed, and then keep getting up. Rinse, repeat, every single night. Dad decided to put him to bed early until he can stay in bed. If anyone has a better idea, I'm all ears. I would love to know if there some other way because I'm all out of ideas. SS6 isn't this way and neither was J. Everything is a battle. This child is like playing chess, and I feel like we always have to stay five moves ahead of him at all times. [/QUOTE]
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