We saw easy child's 'apartment'~

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearts and roses, Aug 5, 2010.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    And although it is really basically just a room she's renting in a couple's condo, she does have full run/use of the place.

    H and I drove up to visit and check it out last evening. We bought her a window fan for her room, as there is no AC. The couple who own it are in Cape Cod for a few days and so it was just easy child, her new boyfriend and the couple's ginormous loud dog who apparently pees on the living room carpet - a lot! He peed twice while we were there. I asked easy child if she was watching the dog for them, but she said no, that they had someone coming in. Hmmmm, so she is there and doesn't care for the dog, but meanwhile the dog is going ape when we arrived and proceeded to pee on the carpet twice. easy child's boyfriend gated the dog in the living room and it just barked it's head off. Anyway...that seemed strange to me. That easy child is there, but won't care for the dog while she's home because they have someone coming in. I asked her if she'd take it out and she said, "No, they have someone doing that." easy child's boyfriend, however, did tether the dog outside briefly and gave it food and water. Whatever.

    Her room is spacious with a nice sized closet and it looks like she will be comfortable there. She fixed it up nice and made it her own. Hopefully the fan will help keep it cool at night. She still has to pick up a dresser this week from a friend. She showed us the bathroom and offhandedly said that she's responsible for cleaning the bathroom. I asked if it was hers solely to use and she said they all use it. Ew. I could see taking turns or simply cleaning up after yourself, but why is she cleaning their bathroom? Whatever.

    Anyway, it is a nice clean place in a decent location - a bit of a drive for her to work, but hey, her choice. And H and I felt nothing the whole time or when we left, no remorse, no sadness, nothing. It's fine. It's completely and totally fine. I am actually happy she's out and she's making a go of it. I think she's okay and I think she just needed to hear us tell her "It's nice, your room looks great, here's a new fan for your room and we love you" and leave. Which is exactly what we did because the dog's barking was making me insane. Hahaha. He thinks she will tire of the people and the location *and the dog* and move back home temporarily, but I don't think so. I think that even if she doesn't like it, she will press on and find another place after her 6 months is up.

    Her new boyfriend is soooo cute. Omg. A real cutie-pie. But dumber than a box of rocks, lol.
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Glad the visit went well. We've visited easy child/difficult child and difficult child's apartment twice this week. Much to my surprise I have
    detached enough to comfortably make it "short and sweet" like you and your husband did. Coming home to an empty house is awesome! Let's hope your easy child learns to enjoy the freedome of independence. :D DDD
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Detach detach! Maybe the dumb boyfriend isnt such a bad thing. Maybe he is just playing dumb too. Does he have a good job? Might be a plus...lol.
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    DDD!!! I know! It's wonderful, just as we arrived home, difficult child was heading out to boyfriend's for the night - we had the house to ourselves again! I am loving not having easy child at home - no attitude and tension in the house at all. Nice.

    Oh Janet, I am sooooOOOoooo detached, really, it's like I don't care...it's borderline apathetic! Not a care at all about her leaving. I think the only reason I 'wonder' about the boyfriend is because it was so soon after she broke it off with Casper - he's the rebound boyfriend, Know what I mean?? My exh was my rebound and he was a pothead. I see history repeating itself, but I know, I know, we all have to live our own lives. That is the only area in which I actually have to conciously think and practice detachment. I don't want to see her go through what I went through, but she will have to learn these things on her own. And of course, I could be completely off and he may end up being perfect for her! Who knows, I feel like she's a completely different person than the one I've know for all these years. He works and shares a house with 2 other guys. He pays all his bills in cash only because he doesn't have a bank account - that, to me, is a red flag. But, my motto has become, "Whatever" and then I let it go.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    LOL....Jo...Tony pays all his bills in cash and doesnt use a bank because he simply doesnt trust them and cant manage to figure them out. He isnt a bad guy...just kinda slow on the uptake. He cant type worth a darn, technology stumps him and he just now is getting fairly okay with HIS cell phone. He cant use my touch screen phone at all and practically has a heart attack if it rings when he is close and I ask him to answer it...lol. He wont make a phone call for a business call like to DishNetwork or my car payment...and asking him to go pay the electric bill in any other way than normal is like asking him to cut off his leg. Hey..maybe he is Aspie!

    All he wants is for him to do the hard work and for someone else to do the "brain stuff". That used to be okay but now my brain aint so good!

    I have the bank account and so far, I havent messed it up too awful badly.

    Hey...on a side note, you guys dont live anywhere close to the Bud plant shooting do you? That was awful!
  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Janet - too funny about Tony. I know people function well without a bank account...both my exh and current H manage okay and they have the same reasoning as Tony - don't trust them!

    We live about 25 minutes from the Bud Distributing plant in Manchester. In fact, that's our mall area. Very tragic and sad. This morning I was reading the obits - beautifully written and so filled with love. Each one was a part of a loving family and had worked there for most of their adult lives. Our bookkeeper has daughters who were coached by one of the men - you could tell by his obit that he was loved and will be missed by the entired community in his hometown.
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Such a sad and tragic thing. Senseless. So you get caught stealing from the company...take getting fired and go on!
  8. ML

    ML Guest

    H&R I'm proud of you. You have achieved what we all strive for: loving detachment. You inspire the rest of us! Love you xo
  9. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Ml it only works with easy child because even though she being a bit of a difficult child, I don't have to worry too much about her. She will have her fun but still be responsible and pay her bills etc.

    But thanks for the props!