we talk to our son over and over..he has ADHD....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by jenn4anthony, Feb 6, 2008.

  1. jenn4anthony

    jenn4anthony New Member

    any suggestions for ways in which we could get through to him without losing it and getting frustrated?! I was speaking with a friend and she suggested a family meeting..our son is 5 years old....what do you think about the family meeting?!
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    That's a very young age to get much of ANYTHING across, and with the ADHD diagnosis (and with the ear tubes, I hope his hearing was evaluated thoroughly because sometimes that becomes affected if the ears have been chronically infected for a long time), I guess it depends on what you are trying to communicate to him.

    Before my difficult child's were treated with medications, at that age we had to keep directions and explanations very brief -- one step at a time before going on to the next step or idea, having them repeat what they understood back to us for confirmation. I don't know what you're aiming for with him -- is it just following rules, directions etc. in general? Or specific things?
  3. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I can't imagine a family meeting accomplishing much besides more frustration. He'll get bored, start goofing around, you'll get upset, you'll yell, he'll cry ....

    At 5, his memory isn't all that long to begin with. Add ADHD to the mix and he's lucky to remember his name, let alone what he was told 10 minutes ago. Having ADHD is very much like having someone lecture you about Aztec merchants while AC/Difficult Child is blaring on your headphones and your favorite television program is on. It makes concentration very difficult. So, things do have to repeated over and over. For my daughter, I found that if I told her to do one thing at a time, it helped. If I wanted her to pick up her toys, I didn't tell her to pick up the toys, I told her to put away her bunny, then have her panda join the bunny so he wouldn't be lonely and so on until the toys were picked up. Same with getting dressed and getting ready for school. One thing at a time. Any more and she would get lost. Even then, it was hard to keep her directed. She wasn't doing it deliberately, it was just part of her nature. Remembering that helped a lot.
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member


    sorry that's rough......i'd have to agree with everyone else i don't think a family meeting would drive it home.....

    a friend of mine once did or rather wrote basic rules down sort of thing. is he reading yet?? could you post rules in kitchen somewhere visible to everyone adn him ofcourse?

    i know i was told by doctor years ago that when rin doesn't seem to hear me listen, etc. to go down to her level hold her by her arms not roughly but to get her attention and say slowly what it is i expect from her...

    just a thought.........

  5. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    I would be leary of teaching him what his "label" is and calling a meeting to drive that thought home. When situations come up I would slowly explain that he has a learning disorder or some other phrase you're comfortable with, and that sometimes he may need to take a different path to getting things done than others his age. Empower him to be a self advocate and to learn tools and cues that will help him along in life. Teach him he is special because he has to try twice as hard as everyone else and that will make him stronger. Don't teach him to be his label - teach him to rise above it. Just my 2 cents.
  6. KitKat

    KitKat Looking for Answers


    Five years of age is young for this. Not young for a prelim diagnosis, but perhaps young to be confirming it in front of your little one. I agree with some of the comments I have seen in this thread; a family meeting at this time may not accomplish what you are hoping.

    Try to take one step at a time - whether it be asking him to pick up his toys, get himself ready for an outing or school etc... is really the key. I have been in the ADHD/ODD/CD boat with my stepson for over 11 years now and this really works. The example of "pick up your toys" vs "pick up one toy and have others join it" really DOES work.

    Also, this current diagnosis might evolve into something else - so you might not want to be applying labels at this point. So many things could change in the next few years (I know they did in our family with regard to behaviour and diagnoses) and your son has enough to worry about (as do you - I know).

    I really feel for you - {(((hugs)))}. Don't forget to take time to BREATHE and know that whatever happens, you will have the strength to deal with it.

  7. jenn4anthony

    jenn4anthony New Member

    So, at this point, my husband and I are not going to go through with the family meeting. All of your points are very true and honestly, he is too young.

    We are just going to have to stop, be more patient and remember that he does have ADHD, he is five, and, not a child that is of 9 or 10. Anthony has the tubes in his ears since he is about 3 due to chronic ear infections, he is frequently tested on his hearing.

    I think taking things at a much slower pace here at our house and keeping in mind that we are the parents of a 5 year old with ADHD is what my husband and I have to keep in mind, which can be rough.

    I dont want to sound like my husband and I are perfect, this is not going to be easy and it hasn't been easy...but we will get through, more importantly, Anthony will get through...with our guidance, love and patience.

    Thanks everyone!