We went so long with-o a tantrum ...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Sep 3, 2007.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'd almost (almost) forgotten what it was like.

    But of course, it was a holiday weekend, less structure ... and if you give a difficult child an inch, you know what happens.

    Long story short, a major, major, major meltdown. I can kind of see it from difficult child's point of view, but still, he insisted we told him he could play with-his friends and forgot the "outside only" part, deliberately choosing to ignore the "no video games, computer games, anything electronic" part.

    I had put a few ph bks in his rm to tear up for just such occasions, but he's been so good, he earned back some books, photos, etc. Guess what he chose to rip up instead of phonebooks? Sigh.

    husband and I also had a short talk, because clearly, holiday weekends mean to him, that he is a couch potato. But to me, they mean the family does things together ... cleans, goes out for coffee, whatever. Nope. Not on the same page. It's all about expectations and communication.

    We have an appointment with-the child psychiatric tomorrow. For once, husband is going along. One of my pet peeves is that he doesn't attend the sessions because he thinks that the problems are all between difficult child and me. ((Picture an ostrich with-his head in the sand.) He's finally getting the picture.
    In fact, today, I chuckled as I heard husband talking to difficult child, (I don't recall exactly what that moment's issue was), "Do it NOW. You're making me mad!"
    When husband came into the bedroom, I said, "Wow, it's nice to know you're human."

    Sigh.
     
  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    (((((((((Terry))))))))))))

    I am so sorry. Tantrums are in the same class as root canals and pap smears as far as pleasantness.
     
  3. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    :cry: So sorry........tantrums are the worst form of hell in my book. In fact, for me, it is like entering a torture chamber - I will do anything just to get my kid to shut his yelping, screaming, terrorizing self. *sigh*

    I hope today is a better day. Let us know what the psychiatrist says, and I am glad husband is going - one small step for mankind.
     
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for making me laugh!

    psychiatrist, husband and I had to pull teeth this a.m. to get difficult child to talk. I don't know if he was tired or what, but the idea was to get him to put things in his own words instead of saying things for him. The whole mtng seemed to take forever.
    The psychiatrist emphasized that difficult child needs to think b4 he acts, and that it takes a lot of work, and he suggested a reward ea time he restrains himself instead of having a meltdown or even sassing.

    difficult child tends to listen to psychiatrist more than he listens to us... authority figure and all that ...

    So we're going to wait for a nice breakthrough with-difficult child and then give him his computer games back.
     
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Terry,
    So sorry you had to endure the tantrum. Knock on wood it's been awhile here since we've had a full blown tantrum. I'm glad husband went with you to the appointment!
     
  6. ML

    ML Guest

    The good news is that this time seems to have been just the opportunity you needed to get husband on board. Things are sure to get better!
     
  7. Janna

    Janna New Member

    We went 16 MONTHS without one LOL! OMG I was in heaven. Now I have PTSD from them LOL! Nice, huh?

    Your psychiatrist sounds like a good one. Ours is like that. He'll sit and talk to Dylan more than me. Good for him.

    Hope things get better. Maybe another couple of months without a tantrum is in your future. I have my fingers and toes crossed for ya, Terry.
     
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you all.
    I'm worn out from the weekned, plus, I finished a mural today. I started it in May! I spent 8 hours on a scaffolding, no lunch, straight until 5 p.m. I'm finished. Yay! So after therapy, I had an entire day of "real" therapy, just me and my paints and classical music, in a stranger's house.
    husband has Tues. off so he carts the kids around. It's great.
    I came home, stripped off my paint clothes, slapped an ice pack behind my neck and crawled in bed. difficult child wanted to watch some awful, noisy wrestling DVD and I made him turn it off.
    "It's not you, it's not your fault," I told him, "It's just that Mommy can't stand those loud wrestling voices."
    He was upset but he turned it off.
    Small miracles!
     
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