Wedding gift advice and attire?

[Shari]

difficult child 1 is getting married tomorrow. His fiance also graduates tomorrow from nursing school.
***
For those that don't know, difficult child 1 and his girlfriend "dated" in junior high and as high school freshmen, til she moved 2 hours away. They occassionally exchanged emails thru the years. They attended junior prom together.
***
And out of the blue about 4 months ago, I got a phone call that difficult child 1 was marrying her before he was to be deployed (deployment, at the time, was set to be October). The reason he gave me at the time was to get more money while he was deployed. When he got back, they would then have a real wedding.
***
Deployment changed, "real" wedding plans changed (the ones they deem real - the one that makes it legal is not what they are calling the "real" one), blah blah blah, but they are still getting married tomorrow at the courthouse. The "real" wedding is still intended to be when he returned from deployment, which will be late 2009 at this point (who knows, really, this changes monthly, at least).
***
So, if you haven't caught the undertones, I don't think this is a well thought out plan - these 2 barely know each other...but, I will be there with bells on. But I am caught as to what kind of gift to give them, since they both view this as just a formality (for the purpose of getting her moved out there where he is) and the "real" wedding won't be until sometime in the future (my guess is it will never happen, even if the marriage works out, but I could be very wrong...)
***
And while I'm at it, what in the heck do you wear to a "formality" wedding? She's wearing a sundress, he's wearing khakis.

 

[JJJ]

Well, maybe you can give them a gift similar to what you'd give for a bridal shower?? And tell them the "real" gift will be given at the "real" wedding??? As far as what to wear, I'd take my lead from the bride and wear a sundress.

 

[mrscatinthehat]

I would say relatively casual for the wedding and as for the gift maybe something symbolic and then a gift card. I know that seems cheesy but if they are moving make it for a place that is where they are going.

good luck with this.

beth

 

[nvts]

Hi! No matter what, it feels like a real wedding for them.

Since she'll be moving out to wherever he goes, why not go for fun yet sensible on the gift thing.

For bridal showers/wedding gifts I used to put together a "salad".

I go to a cheapo store and buy a salad bowl and the fork and spoon to "toss" the salad and then depending on how much money you want to give, you get the cash in singles and fives. Crumple up the money and put it in the salad bowl (lettuce). If you're feeling particularly creative, take some red felt and cut circles. Stitch around the edges (believe me, this part doesn't take a lot of sewing talent, I bleed more than I stitch when it comes to hemming let alone sewing), place some coins in the middle and pull the thread so it closes like a drawstring bag. Stitch on a little raggety green felt on the top and you have tomatos. You can make carrots, etc. A little cellophane wrap to cover and VOILA! salad!

This way they have a salad set for meals and cash to fill it. BUT it looks like you took time out for them (literally minutes! lol!).

People used to offer me money to make these for showers and weddings that they were going to.

Either way, have a good time. Remember, they're young, dumb and "in-love"!

Beth

 

[Abbey]

Sounds casual to me...I'd dress in a summer dress. Don't want to one-up the bride.

As far as a gift? Geez...I don't know. Maybe a nice set of pre-stamped note cards that she can send him, or he could send her.

Abbey

 

[meowbunny]

I'd definitely follow the bride's lead and go casual. A sundress or nice slacks and top. Since they don't feel this is the wedding, I'd go with a gift card and a promise of a real gift when they have the formal wedding.

I was so hoping they would change their minds. What happened to a wedding being a time of celebration, to show your love and commitment to each other and God; not this it's extra money? sigh sorry

 

[DammitJanet]

Casual dress. Is she moving into base housing? If so, gift cards would be good. Or something like a set of pots and pans if she hasnt been living on her own. Walmart sells a kitchen in a box with pots and pans, silverware, spatulas, etc all in one box. Of course, this isnt the best of quality but it will do for the first set.

Tie the box up in a couple of bath towels or sheets.

 

[HereWeGoAgain]

And while I'm at it, what in the heck do you wear to a "formality" wedding?

"Business casual" ?

 

[Shari]

Well, I lucked out...my fav little store had a nice summery dress, just a tad on the dressy side, tho, but I really liked it. And, get this, it was on sale for $25. Its a tank dress with a sheer overlay and a long sleeved sheer long jacket - shades of tan, off white, and a little pink. BUT - take the jacket off, and its just a long tank dress with a sheer overlay...got some mother of pearl and copper dangly casual earings and some brown leather sandals...I think it will work.

And I asked the bride if she'd like a little cake to celebrate - she liked that idea - so I found a bakery willing to rush a little white wedding cake. Will stop at the florist tonight for flowers to put on it - very simple. I love the salad bowl idea, so I wrote that down for when they move, but the cake and a gift card are the gift for now - I'll make them a quilt when they aquire some furniture and have an idea of what they might like.

 

[Shari]

Ok, HereWeGoAgain...I just got what you said. That's funny... lol

I hope I'm not being the overbearing mother in law already. I told difficult child if I ever act like my mother in law, to call me by her name and smack me. lol No phone calls yet, so I hope...

 

[ML]

The dress sounds lovely. I am sure it will be a beautiful day. That was nice of you to suggest the cake. Also, gift cards and cash are never bad choices in my humble opinion