Wee doesn't even want to go to his school Halloween party.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Shari, Oct 25, 2010.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Last night, we were talking about the fun Halloween weekend coming up. Told Wee I'd make arrangements to get him to his class Halloween party.

    He suddenly got really quiet, and finaly said "I don't want to go. No one likes me, and I'll just be bad, anyway, so why should I bother?"

    I do believe our window of opportunity with Wee is closing. This lady that shows up Wednesday had better be nothing short of a miracle worker...
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Poor Wee :(
  3. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    That is sad for Wee. I hope that the new para helps him.

  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    How sad... poor little guy. :( Give him a big hug for me.
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    :crying: Please tell Wee that I like him... no matter what. And I wished he lived close enough to celebrate Halloween with us. {{{Hugs}}}
  6. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Poor little guy *hugs*. Mine often feels the same, maybe they should hang out together.
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Poor little guy.

    Hugs for both Wee and his mama.
  8. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    honestly, this is no balogna. Reading this gave my heart a little lurch. I remember those days with saddness. No answers. Just hugs.


    I've edited this post to add something. After I hit the reply button I had the overwhelming urge to hug my difficult child. I called him in and told him I needed a hug. He sat down on the sofa next to me a gave me a hug and asked what was the matter. I told him I had just read about a little boy on the board who didn't want to go to his class Halloween party. I told him he had some behavior issues and he felt like no one liked him and he was going to be bad anyway (almost a mirror of my difficult child in 2nd and 3rd grade). difficult child immediately said, "awww". I told him that I it made me think about when he was little. difficult child told me that wee should go and his mommy should go with him. This from a high-schooler. Sheri, there can be such moments of joy and happiness. You just never know.....Perhaps you and Wee could go out to the dollar store and purchase some Halloween pencils and erasers and tell him the two of you will stop in during the party and give them out to all his friends in class. Perhaps taking some ownership will boost his little self esteem. With hugs...
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2010
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Poor Wee, this is very sad; please give him an extra hug from this board auntie.
  10. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Poor Wee - Breaks your heart when your child is not look forward to enjoying typical children parties.

    I would be tempted to give him a great big hug and say, "This party is for all the kids including you. You decide what you want to dress at and together we will make the most awesome costume including a mask and no one will know it is you. You can play the part of that character and I will help you to not make a mistake that will have others angry. Everyone will say, "Who is this person?" You will have them guessing all night. We can arrive a little late and leave as soon as you feel it is getting hard."
  11. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I'm still encouraging him to go, but if it boils down to it, I won't push it. OR - I'm going to talk to his SpEd teacher about attending a class party of one of the kids that she is kinda using as a "buddy" with Wee during special times, so he'll have someone to "hang" with that he does feel likes him. Either way, if he wants to go, I will attend with him. I have also scoped out another party Friday early evening that he can go to, and the early intervention preschool has invited him to an invitation only trick or treat/bounce house party on Saturday afternoon (which I think is awesome).
    It just breaks my heart. And I promise you guys, if no one else, this is very close to ending. I an waiting on feedback from the attorney to file complaints with the state, and to determine the next move there, and also this new para...if she doesn't prove to be something really special really fast, I HAVE To get Wee out of this situation. This can't go on.
    I read some of the stories on Ross Greene's new weebsite from SW....yeah...this can't go on.
  12. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Duckie asked me what was wrong after I replied (I was in tears), so I told her a little about Wee and how he felt about his class Halloween party. She got very quiet and said "But it's his party too. He should go and not feel bad."

    I agree with Sharon. I know I've gone to great strides (probably more than I should) to help Duckie fit in: from making sure that she's dressed decently (read that as not sticking out like a sore thumb) to having a big (and now legendary) party at the end of the year. We also send in appropriate treats at holidays. And another thing I do is make a point of getting to know the other kids. That way I can encourage her to spend time with those kids that are more accepting of her differences.

    I really hope he goes to the party and has a great time. Not because it's his right or because he should be able to go but rather because I think he needs to have some fun and just be a regular kid... even if only for an hour or so.
  13. shellyd67

    shellyd67 Active Member

    Hugs for wee (((((( )))))) my heart breaks for him !
  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    My heart just breaks for him. I remember when Wiz went through not wanting to go to school. We were lucky in the friend aspect, to a point, because I had made friends with a couple with 2 tomboy daughters who to this day adore my kids (the girls are about Wiz' age and think the younger two are just the cutest kids ever, and always did. The 2 girls were always happy to be with just Wiz though, and the younger of the girls was the TOUGHEST kid on the playground - some of the adults wouldn't talk back to her, even. Usually because they knew she was right and they were encouraging other kids to be mean little jerks - not kidding or exaggerating and not speaking about just aides, either.). When he was having the hardest time with teachers he could count on spending time with the girls at recess and after school. Their parents were "outcasts" to a point because they were NOT submissive if a teacher was in the wrong (this was expected - questioning the teachers' approach was met with HORROR and a lot of nastiness) and because the mom was a singer in a punk rock band and often had wildly colored hair. As if hair color meant anything, lol!!

    anyway, Wiz at least had that little bit of bright in his day. I HATE that Wee doesn't. I really had hoped that with guidance from the group in Tulsa this school would at least treat him in a humane manner. in my opinion many people treat pets better than many of the people in this school, esp the principal, treat Wee! makes me wish that I could give them a bit of what they dish out. A BIG bit.

    Is there ANYONE in your extended family who could be a buddy for Wee at school? Even if it is an older kid who just comes for a little while each day? I know that when Wiz can take time to go to something at thank you's school it means a LOT to him. thank you doesn't have many friends mainly because he is interesting in things his classmates cannot comprehend, much less discuss - and he doesn't understand what they are interested in.

    Please tell Wee that he has a LOT of Aunties who think he is a really awesome, fun, cool kid - and if other kids can't see that, and the grown ups at school can't see it, well, we think they are just idiots. I have a VERY strong feeling that Wee is a LOT smarter than these people but has some roadblocks that mean he uses info differently.

    I remember a line from an episode of Cold Case (the fiction tv show) where a little girl was being hazed by some classmates while they were all in middle school. The uncool girl's mom told her that this part of her life might not seem as fun and she might feel like an outcast, but if she could keep her sights on college things would completely change. In college SHE would be the cool kid because she had so many interests and was so smart. in my opinion many of our kids could use this. Jess is hanging on to that right now herself.

    What kinds of things hold Wee's interest? Science experiments, craft projects, things he can do outside (thinking of the old nature craft type books like the FoxFire series - I think that was the name - too old for him now but that kind of thing?) certain tv shows, etc??? does he have an all-encompassing interest like dinosaurs or pokemon or spongebob or something? Maybe you could find some social activities based on those things.

    If they don't work fast to help Wee they are going to turn him off education (formalized anyway) completely. in my opinion that is CRIMINAL for any educator to do to any student.
  15. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    husband only has the one sister, and she's only got the one son, and he's way out of school. Cgfg is in district, but the last thing I'd do to her is pull her out of class. It would likely not be a positive, anyway. She's not a whole lot more mature herself.

    He has the 3 boys he "grew up" with at the sitter's. They are still his "friends", tho they have mostly moved on, they will slow down and hang with Wee here and there. Wee is also friends with a boy who is a year younger. We also saw a kid from his grade at his counselor the other day, and I suggested Wee ask him name and seek him out at school and meet him.

    I also suggested the janitors from the primary and the elementary - he adores them both. And the district bus man is a VERY good family friend who would drop it in a heartbeat to come hang with Wee for 15 minutes. In fact, bus mechanic told me to have them send Wee to him when he leaves school every day. Not only could bus mechanic handle it, I think it would be an awesome idea for Wee to do something other than just go home, and for sure he could help in the shop. He's good at that and it would be a real world skill for him (I know, he's young, but let's face it...its not just magically going to get easy for him).

    Depending on the weekend, we might set up our "cemetary" and invite his classmates to stop by on their way to trick or treat. Even if we aren't home, they could walk thru the cemetary and get a candy bar (I'll splurge and get big ones). If a few will stop by, that would give them a positive discussion point for Monday. And he has helped me make a pretty neat cemetary.

    He and husband drew up some plans for his treehouse yesterday (one at home). I've scouted out some parties to attend. We're camping next weekend, and this weekend husband told him they go scout some deer in the new deer stand.

    So we're trying to build him up.