Wee

[Shari]

I am really starting to run out of rope to cling to with Wee. He seems to already be getting that preteen attitude, and of course nothing is his fault.
The place he attended early intervention preschool is the only place I can send him for summer daycare. No one else will take him. And the eip is iffy this year...their regs have changed and if he acts out physically at all, they can't keep him, either. He's super mad about having to go there, and pretty much nightly has whined and cried and carried on about it, and I just want to shake him silly...if he didnt act the way he does, he wouldn't have to go to 'that awful place'. I got mad tonight and said that, too, which made me feel awful, but dangit...what else am I supposed to do?!?
Grrrr. I know the kid has troubles, but I think it's time he also start learning he plays a big part in this stuff. He needs to control what he can.
Ok, sorry. Vent over. I know this makes menan awful parent. I'm just running out of patience for everyone's ****.

 

[keista]

(((HUGS))) Not awful - human.

 

[Running_for_the_shelter]

You're not a mean, awful parent because you told the kid a home truth. In about twenty years, he might actually believe it, too. It's just a fact that kids (difficult child or not) don't want to accept that past behavior limits choices. My son has certainly heard from me that he didn't get to go back to a place he liked because he didn't behave well.

 

[KTMom91]

Sometimes they just need to hear those basic truths of life and start to recognize their role in their daily drama. To this day, I don't know how much of Miss KT's behavioral antics she could control or not. Frustrated the h#!! out of me.

What happens if he can't go to this daycare? Besides the obvious fact that you will be stuck once again, of course...

 

[ML]

You are a warrior parent, but even warriors grow weary of battle. It's not easy. Cut yourself some slack. In many ways it does get better as they get older in terms of them finding ways to control some of these things. At least that has been my experience. Here is hoping you see much improvement and maturity over this summer.

Oh it's code for a difficult child to refuse to take responsibility for everything if they can get away with it. Don't let him!

Hugs,

 

[timer lady]

You have my deepest sympathies! It can only go downhill from here.

 

[susiestar]

(((((hugs)))))

You are NOT mean or awful. NOT NOT NOT.

in my opinion our difficult children NEED to hear that message. That they play a substantial role in the problems in their lives. The world will NOT make it easy on him if he doesn't learn that reality is what it is and we ALL have to take responsiblity for our actions. Now some things he cannot control, but if given the message that if he can learn to control things he will have better choices often and early enough, with the tools to actually learn to handle himself and school/job etc...., the better his future will be.

What you told him was the rock bottom truth. While it isn't fun to face, it is the truth.And if he can keep it together at this place maybe later in the summer another option could be worked out, like finding a college kid to watch him and take him places. That would be a good lesson - you CAN get better situations but you must work for them is the lesson all kids need to learn. And lots of adults too.

 

[klmno]

No, you're not awful..just a human whose patience and nerves have been pushed beyond limits. That being said and with the benefit of a little hindsight, I would recommend apologizing to him and then at another ime later on, start explaining how he has weakness and strengths just like everyone and the way his weaknesses exhibit themselves effects his choices of who'll watch him and places he can attend and that he needs to do ABC to work on those as best he can. We all have to find ways to deal with and compensate for our own weaknesses.

I'm only saying this because I said things like that to my son a couple of times when he was younger and now it pains me to no end thinking I maight have contributed more than I could ever have forseen to his internalizing his bad feelings about himself and his perception of no chance beyond a life of incarceration. You know- another situation where maybe I'm just relating my own experience with my son too much to your situation, while Wee's problems are entirely different. So keep that in mind while gnawing on my words....