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General Parenting
Week #3 of our trip through ODD land
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 376900" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>There is a fairly easy way to handle the issue of taking the phone to school. You and wife make a firm commitment to each other that if difficult child gets the phone taken away at school that you WILL NOT go and get it from the principal or teacher. IF it is offered at the end of the grading period (quarter or semester - up to you), you will get it then. </p><p> </p><p>Next time difficult child has his phone at school, or you think he does, call it. Repeatedly, unless it goes straight to voice mail. If he answers it, say what you want - ask how his day is, if he is having a good day, whatever. Don't tell him he is in trouble. He is smart enough to know you won't be happy. You don't have to say it.</p><p> </p><p>Then call the school. Tell them that difficult child has his phone at school, and it is on. Even if he doesn't answer and you know he has it, tell them that it is there. Ask them to confiscate it and only give it back if you or your wife come to get it from the office. All the schools here have the policy that phones, gameboys, mp3 players, etc... will only be returned to a parent if they are being used at school (mp3s if used inappropriately). Don't go and get it back until parent/teacher conferences.</p><p> </p><p>You can call the phone co and have it be put on "vacation" or "inactive" status, which costs less. </p><p> </p><p>If the phone was so that difficult child could have freedom to be in an area of a store like games while you shop, well, he cannot do that because he has no phone. YOU didn't lose it, did you? If it was so that he could go do things with friends and not call home everytime plans changed, well he needs to stay at the first friend's house or stay on plan, doesn't he? Otherwise he cannot go out. </p><p> </p><p>The other thing you can do is to take the battery out of his phone when you see it at home. Then he can take it to school all he wants. Cannot play games on it, cannot text, cannot get online, cannot call, but he has it to look cool. </p><p> </p><p>Put the battery back in when you feel like it, or when you want him to be able to use his phone. </p><p> </p><p>Some schools may have other consequences for students who bring phones to school. If he has to experience those because you called and let the school know he has the phone there, that is entirely HIS problem. Don't own it, don't admit to alerting them (unless you want to for some reason), don't try to get him out of whatever they impose. And don't go get the phone!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 376900, member: 1233"] There is a fairly easy way to handle the issue of taking the phone to school. You and wife make a firm commitment to each other that if difficult child gets the phone taken away at school that you WILL NOT go and get it from the principal or teacher. IF it is offered at the end of the grading period (quarter or semester - up to you), you will get it then. Next time difficult child has his phone at school, or you think he does, call it. Repeatedly, unless it goes straight to voice mail. If he answers it, say what you want - ask how his day is, if he is having a good day, whatever. Don't tell him he is in trouble. He is smart enough to know you won't be happy. You don't have to say it. Then call the school. Tell them that difficult child has his phone at school, and it is on. Even if he doesn't answer and you know he has it, tell them that it is there. Ask them to confiscate it and only give it back if you or your wife come to get it from the office. All the schools here have the policy that phones, gameboys, mp3 players, etc... will only be returned to a parent if they are being used at school (mp3s if used inappropriately). Don't go and get it back until parent/teacher conferences. You can call the phone co and have it be put on "vacation" or "inactive" status, which costs less. If the phone was so that difficult child could have freedom to be in an area of a store like games while you shop, well, he cannot do that because he has no phone. YOU didn't lose it, did you? If it was so that he could go do things with friends and not call home everytime plans changed, well he needs to stay at the first friend's house or stay on plan, doesn't he? Otherwise he cannot go out. The other thing you can do is to take the battery out of his phone when you see it at home. Then he can take it to school all he wants. Cannot play games on it, cannot text, cannot get online, cannot call, but he has it to look cool. Put the battery back in when you feel like it, or when you want him to be able to use his phone. Some schools may have other consequences for students who bring phones to school. If he has to experience those because you called and let the school know he has the phone there, that is entirely HIS problem. Don't own it, don't admit to alerting them (unless you want to for some reason), don't try to get him out of whatever they impose. And don't go get the phone! [/QUOTE]
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Week #3 of our trip through ODD land
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