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Weekends are tough
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<blockquote data-quote="donna723" data-source="post: 78470" data-attributes="member: 1883"><p>Karen, I know exactly what you mean. been there done that! When I went through that stage, I tried to find things that I enjoyed that I had never been able to do before. I watched what <u><em>I</em></u> wanted to on TV - NO MORE football all weekend! And I was never one to go places by myself but I started! If I wanted to go shopping all day long and wander around at my leisure, I DID IT! My time was my own and I didn't feel guilty that I wasn't at home cooking HIS dinner! I once spent an entire day roaming around at a huge antique exhibition - nobody to tell me I shouldn't! And it was WONDERFUL! It got me out of the house and broke the routine and I thoroughly enjoyed it.</p><p></p><p>And slowly, over time, I rediscovered who <u><em>I</em></u> was! I found out that there hadn't been too much of "me" left! I had spent twenty years being "<em>somebody's wife</em>" and "<em>somebody's mother</em>". Detaching" from a relationship is very hard, but it's a "process". It's a little like having your role as a mother change over time as your children become adults. Not bad, just different. Caring for him as a spouse, worrying about him, putting <em>his</em> interests first before your own, and even having him do certain things around the house are HABITS you don't break overnight! </p><p></p><p>But now, I <em>treasure</em> my independence! And the peace and quiet and the absence of all that conflict and heartache - after all those years of being chained to a "loose cannon"! I do what I want, when I want to. I make my own decisions and I spend my money the way I want to, and I do very well. And I'm happier than I ever was before. You'll get there too!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="donna723, post: 78470, member: 1883"] Karen, I know exactly what you mean. been there done that! When I went through that stage, I tried to find things that I enjoyed that I had never been able to do before. I watched what <u>[i]I[/i]</u> wanted to on TV - NO MORE football all weekend! And I was never one to go places by myself but I started! If I wanted to go shopping all day long and wander around at my leisure, I DID IT! My time was my own and I didn't feel guilty that I wasn't at home cooking HIS dinner! I once spent an entire day roaming around at a huge antique exhibition - nobody to tell me I shouldn't! And it was WONDERFUL! It got me out of the house and broke the routine and I thoroughly enjoyed it. And slowly, over time, I rediscovered who <u>[i]I[/i]</u> was! I found out that there hadn't been too much of "me" left! I had spent twenty years being "[i]somebody's wife[/i]" and "[i]somebody's mother[/i]". Detaching" from a relationship is very hard, but it's a "process". It's a little like having your role as a mother change over time as your children become adults. Not bad, just different. Caring for him as a spouse, worrying about him, putting [i]his[/i] interests first before your own, and even having him do certain things around the house are HABITS you don't break overnight! But now, I [i]treasure[/i] my independence! And the peace and quiet and the absence of all that conflict and heartache - after all those years of being chained to a "loose cannon"! I do what I want, when I want to. I make my own decisions and I spend my money the way I want to, and I do very well. And I'm happier than I ever was before. You'll get there too! [/QUOTE]
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