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Weekends are tough
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 78519" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>Suz is 100% right. Men replace (because they do not possess the capabilities to deal with the feelings) and women grieve. You are grieving. You are grieving it as if it were a death. And it is, in a way. It is the death of a marriage. The death of your life, the way it has been, for 20 something years.</p><p></p><p>Grief has 5 stages. And you go through every one of them at one time or another, sometimes visiting one more than once:</p><p></p><p>Denial. This is not happening.</p><p></p><p>Sadness. I am SO sad about this, I don't know if I can go on.</p><p></p><p>Anger. So and so caused this, and I am so mad at him/her for doing this to me.</p><p></p><p>Bargaining. If only I had done this, then maybe that would have been different.</p><p></p><p>Acceptance. This is my life now. It happened. I don't have to like it, but I have no control over it, and I accept it. I will take my life as it is now, and do the best with it as I can.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I have also heard (and it was a lowball estimate for me) that for every year you are with someone, count on needing a month to get over him. I was with Matt for 9 years. It took WAY more than 9 months for me to grieve losing him. What you are doing that I did not do is getting out and living your life. I sat and mourned like a widow. While he moved in with first one and then a second g/f withing 6 months, I <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> and moaned to everyone what a bum he was and don't you feel sorry for me. It got old fast.</p><p></p><p>Now that I am truly done grieving him (at least I think I am), I am way more objective about things concerning him. I know I still love him and probably always will, but I am not in love with him anymore. I know that he is a toxic person and is better off in jail. At least there he is not making any more babies.</p><p></p><p>Anyways. Huge understanding hugs and lots of prayers as you grieve.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 78519, member: 3647"] Suz is 100% right. Men replace (because they do not possess the capabilities to deal with the feelings) and women grieve. You are grieving. You are grieving it as if it were a death. And it is, in a way. It is the death of a marriage. The death of your life, the way it has been, for 20 something years. Grief has 5 stages. And you go through every one of them at one time or another, sometimes visiting one more than once: Denial. This is not happening. Sadness. I am SO sad about this, I don't know if I can go on. Anger. So and so caused this, and I am so mad at him/her for doing this to me. Bargaining. If only I had done this, then maybe that would have been different. Acceptance. This is my life now. It happened. I don't have to like it, but I have no control over it, and I accept it. I will take my life as it is now, and do the best with it as I can. I have also heard (and it was a lowball estimate for me) that for every year you are with someone, count on needing a month to get over him. I was with Matt for 9 years. It took WAY more than 9 months for me to grieve losing him. What you are doing that I did not do is getting out and living your life. I sat and mourned like a widow. While he moved in with first one and then a second g/f withing 6 months, I :censored: and moaned to everyone what a bum he was and don't you feel sorry for me. It got old fast. Now that I am truly done grieving him (at least I think I am), I am way more objective about things concerning him. I know I still love him and probably always will, but I am not in love with him anymore. I know that he is a toxic person and is better off in jail. At least there he is not making any more babies. Anyways. Huge understanding hugs and lots of prayers as you grieve. [/QUOTE]
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