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Weekends are tough
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 78558" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Karen,</p><p>What you're feeling is perfectly normal, and as others have already suggested, changing up your routine to do things that are different from the ones you always used to do together will help.</p><p></p><p>When my Ex-H and I split up, I stayed on in the house and eventually bought him out. For the first few months, when he got settled in his new apartment, and I was still in what used to be "our" house, with the tatty old decor and all of "our" stuff, I found myself feeling a bit jealous of him because he had a fresh start, and I was stuck with all the cast-offs of the marriage.</p><p></p><p>I also found that when Ex had to come over for some reason, he waltzed in and made himself at home. I found this VERY hard, because it was MY home then, and I didn't like it that he sauntered in, opened cupboards, etc.</p><p></p><p>Interestingly, once I had gutted and redecorated the place (everything from new floors and kitchen cabinets...which I installed myself...to new paint on the walls), Ex-H wouldn't even step past the front porch. It no longer felt like His place, and he no longer felt comfortable.</p><p></p><p>I can understand that you don't want to take on any major decorating projects, if he's intending to buy you out of the house, but are you in a position to change it around at all? Even rearranging the furniture, and organizing the kitchen in the way that YOU want things to be, can make a big difference.</p><p></p><p>Grieving the lost relationship is normal, and you were together for a very long time. Take the time to feel whatever you need to feel, and take care of yourself.</p><p></p><p>All the best,</p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 78558, member: 3907"] Karen, What you're feeling is perfectly normal, and as others have already suggested, changing up your routine to do things that are different from the ones you always used to do together will help. When my Ex-H and I split up, I stayed on in the house and eventually bought him out. For the first few months, when he got settled in his new apartment, and I was still in what used to be "our" house, with the tatty old decor and all of "our" stuff, I found myself feeling a bit jealous of him because he had a fresh start, and I was stuck with all the cast-offs of the marriage. I also found that when Ex had to come over for some reason, he waltzed in and made himself at home. I found this VERY hard, because it was MY home then, and I didn't like it that he sauntered in, opened cupboards, etc. Interestingly, once I had gutted and redecorated the place (everything from new floors and kitchen cabinets...which I installed myself...to new paint on the walls), Ex-H wouldn't even step past the front porch. It no longer felt like His place, and he no longer felt comfortable. I can understand that you don't want to take on any major decorating projects, if he's intending to buy you out of the house, but are you in a position to change it around at all? Even rearranging the furniture, and organizing the kitchen in the way that YOU want things to be, can make a big difference. Grieving the lost relationship is normal, and you were together for a very long time. Take the time to feel whatever you need to feel, and take care of yourself. All the best, Trinity [/QUOTE]
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