Friday, while in Tulsa with wee difficult child's testing, difficult child 1's wife (daughter in law) called. She was crying and very upset. They have had problems with DEX's girlfriend for some time. Since the girlfriend came into the picture and found out difficult child 1 and daughter in law were expecting, she has absolutely bothered them to no end. They got their numbers changed, got rid of their house phone, etc. Now the girlfriend has found them on facebook. DEX is absolutely absent. He lives 2 miles from my house and only sees wee difficult child if we run into DEX in town. difficult child 1 was back last summer on leave and ran into DEX in grandma's driveway and DEX stopped long enough to say "If you wanna go drive around drinking with us later, call me." but he didn't have time to stop and see his son. difficult child 1 was in for over 14 days. That's the only time difficult child 1 has seen or spoken to DEX in 2 and a half years. This summer, daughter in law and the grandbaby were here passing thru on their way to see family on the east coast. They stopped in for a couple of hours to meet great grandmas, etc, and daughter in law specifically asked not to let girlfriend know. DEX was at work, so he wouldn't have come, anyway. Anyway, back to Friday, girlfriend caught daughter in law on Facebook and instant messaged her. girlfriend swears DEX has changed and absolutely raked daughter in law across the coals for not giving DEX a second chance, and fr not letting "them" know she was in town with the baby. daughter in law told girlfriend that it was SHE that wanted to see wee difficult child and the grandbaby, not DEX, and that she needed to butt out of their lives, they had made a decision as parents that they didn't want DEX involved because of his inability to be a consistent and stable person in anyone's life, they don't need that in their life, and they don't want grandbaby growing up feeling that pain. (I was proud of daughter in law standing up to her). girlfriend went off. Told daughter in law that DEX tries to see wee difficult child and I won't allow it and several other things about me and my boys that are absolutely not true. daughter in law knows this, but she was really upset. girlfriend then went and called exMIL and told how her rude daughter in law had been and how DEX has "rights" and no one will give him a chance. She didn't tell exMIL about the things she said about me. Saturday night, we went to exBIL's birthday party and DEX and girlfriend were there. It took all I had to keep my mouth shut, particularly when she told wee difficult child to do something I had just told him not to do. Thankfully, they were too busy to stay more than 30 minutes or so. Otherwise, I would have left. But she made sure to make DEX do all the appropriate dad-ish things before he left. And all day yesterday she made jabs at daughter in law on Facebook. It makes me very angry. Anyway...this is not my battle, for the most part, except that I am very concerned that she will continue to wiggle and worm her way into wee difficult child's life. Its inevitable that he will have to come to terms with an absent father at some point, but all she's done so far is point out how absent he is. And to top that off, she's been sleeping with another man for the past 5 months. DEX is such a great changed man that she's been telling his parents for 6 or 7 months that she's kicking him out, she wouldn't let him put his name on the house she is trying to buy, and for the past 4 and a half months, she's had a "spare" on the side, ready to move in. And how do I know this? The "other man" is husband's cousin... and of course, we're not supposed to know about their little affair. Beleive me, I wish I didn't.