weight issue

[Kjs]

difficult child thinks he is overweight. he won't go to the pool, he won't go to the lake, he will wear long pants and two shirts and it is 90 degrees outside. He hasn't been eating much for several months. I didn't make a big deal about it, thinking he will eat when he is hungry. For several YEARS he has been saying kids tease him because he is fat, he can't take his shirt off..He goes on and on about how fat he is. He is 12 years old and weighs 90 pounds. His waist on his pants is 26 inches and fall off him. He insists he is fat because others tell him so. Now I am getting worried. He is not overweight. he is beginning to scare me. When he gets a certain thought in his mind he obsesses over it. Being fat(someone said that once to him), Someone made fun of him once when he had short hair...4 years ago. Hasn't cut it since (trim only, shoulder length), won't go to Friday night skating because someone said nobody wanted him there. It just really bothers me. Don't know how to get through to him these things aren't true.

 

[smallworld]

Most eating disorders are based in anxiety. Sounds as if his anxiety is not being addressed properly. You need to bring this issue to the attention of his psychiatrist and therapist ASAP.

 

[wakeupcall]

Why is it that when we say something to them (constructively) they never listen, but as soon as someone else (they may not even know them) says something, then they obsess over it? My son is almost 12 and weighs 85 lbs., so they must be about the same size. Fat? Hardly!

 

[mum2JK&TH]

Kids can be so cruel. Could you maybe encourage him to try running or do some sort of exercise that is healthy (tae kwon do is really good for them) so that he feels like he is working on his weight issue and then by him doing something it will increase his hunger so that he may start eating again? Maybe something that he can do with just an instructor to start until he feels better about himself?

We have a similar issue with difficult child although it won't affect his health. He dyed his hair awhile ago and some kids have taken to calling him skunk boy so he wants to cut it short but his ears stick out quite a bit so now he wants to have ear surgery like his dad (husband had the same problem). We have tried to tell him that kids are going to find something to bug him about, he just needs to learn how to ignore it.

Maybe point out to him that kids say things to others and ask him if he believes it is true what they are saying about them?

(((HUGS))) to him!

 

[Kjs]

It is just so frustrating. He does his share of saying things. He may be picked on but I am sure he doesn't walk away without his own comment. Then they don't get along. he needs to learn how to keep his mean comments to himself. He says it is "self defense" lol. He is driving me crazy. He won't do anything. He won't go places because certain people might be there and they don't like him. It just drives me nuts.

 

[BusynMember]

My sister had anorexia. Sometimes I think she still does. She is 5'4, 107 lbs. (like Karen Carpenter when she died) and thinks she is fat, takes diuretics etc. Boys can have eating disorders too. I was told it is related to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and that Prozac is often used to treat it, plus intensive therapy. I would find a therapist who deals with eating disorders. According to my sister, they are a problem in of themselves. She says you need a very specific type of help. Whether or not she's right, I don't know, but I do know she used to be much worse and now she at least eats. Hugs to your son.

 

[1905]

I think you can't adress this alone. I think if he is wearing long pants, 2 shirts etc... its bad if the reason is because he's fat. I can speak from experience. I am 5'4 and I weigh less than 107. I can't tell you how much because I am too fat right now to get on the scale. A few months ago I was under 100 and husband was about to send me to some eating diorders in-patient place so I told him I am fine and started eating normally. But now I had to restart up this madness- thats what it is- because my weight did get to 107 exactly. husband will realize, and this will start again. I don't want help and your son will tell you he's fine but don't believe him. I am an adult, but you can help him.-Please forgive me, this is very shameful.-Alyssa