Welcome, Joskids!

[Big Bad Kitty]

I took your posts and started a new one with a new title so it would not get lost in the shuffle:

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OK, all you experts . . . calling on you for help.

I'm new here. We have a 7 year old, adopted son, beautiful child, does BEAUTIFULLY in school, teachers love him, don't see ADHD (he's been medicated for 2.5 years). He is definitely ODD (I diagnosed). We are seeing a therapist but just beginning. I'm SO FRUSTRATED with not knowing what's going on with my child. Is it NORMAL for an ODD child to do so well in school and not at home? I realize that he has "maintained" to the best of his ability at school and loses it when he walks in the door. And I know enough about adoption issues to have considered Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) or some form of attachment, but he has been with us since he was 6 weeks old and we do not (and neither do friends/family) see anything that would look like Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). He's bright, has a genetic history of a birthfather with likely some kind of conduct disorder. Can anyone help me to explain my child? Am I right that there is no "cure" for ODD? Can you suggest something that may help me to parent him? I did buy the Love and Logic book and am now just getting into it. Some of the suggestions, I don't necessarily agree with for a 7 year old, and particularly this child, but do fully agree with allowing children to experience their own natural consequences. By the way, he is currently medicated with 10 mg. of Adderall XR.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Hi again and welcome.

I moved your post so that more people would see it.

Many other gals will be along shortly with questions and advice, but mostly support.

My daughter is 6, she has ADHD, ODD, Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), and possibly bipolar. She is an angel at school, she walks in the door and is the femal version of Damien. Many kids can only hold it together for so long.

ODD is something that we, as parents of difficult child's (gifts from God) don't look to cure, as much as we look to deal with. No, there really is no cure. It is not an exact science. Moreover, ODD rarely stands alone. Who diagnosed your child?

Welcome to the board, I hope that yo find it as helpful and safe as I did.

 

[totoro]

Hi Joskids-
Just wanted to welcome you-
My difficult child K just got ODD taken off of her list of diagnosis's. Why? Because her new psychiatrist feels it is just a part of her Bipolar symptoms and not a separate diagnosis for her. Her mental Illness causes her to be ODD-like.
Whether she is or not is not really important, we are treating the symptoms of the behaviors- for all of her diagnosis's.

Who diagnosis'd the ADHD? Has your son ever had a Nuero-psychiatric evaluation? They are great, basically you get hours of testing for cognitive/behavior issues and they are able to pretty much pinpoint where your child has any difficulties and issues. Learning, behavior etc. THey send you home with tons of paperwork and then spend hours in the office with family and child, we spent about 10 hours in office.

"THe explosive child" is another good book to look into by Ross Greene.
We prett much combine a lot of different techniques between Love and Logic, Explosive Child and what we learned in the psychiatric hospital...

Again welcome!!!

 

[Josie]

It seems to me that ODD is a description of behaviour and not a true illness. Usually, there is something else going on causing the ODD. If you can figure out what that is, you can better manage and/or eliminate the ODD behaviour.

I do think I have "cured" my daughter's ODD. She has food allergies to wheat, gluten, and milk. Eliminating those foods has pretty much eliminated her ODD. The only time that behaviour comes back is when she has cheated on her diet. That doesn't happen too often because she knows she feels better when she doesn't eat them and she knows she will get in trouble from her behaviour if she cheats.

When she was at her worst, she behaved well at school and in public. Most people were shocked to hear how she was at home. Probably they thought my parenting was to blame. However, now she is fine and my parenting hasn't changed.

I don't mean to imply that your answer will be as simple as a diet change. But it is something to consider as well as bipolar, autism, etc. I agree that a neuropsychologist evaluation would be a good start.

 

[BusynMember]

Hi there. Unfortunately, we can't diagnose your son and it's probably not a good idea for you to diagnose him either. ODD rarely stands by itself and you need a Child psychiatrist or neuropsychologist to evaluate the bigger picture. My own possibly unpopular opinion (I've adopted four times) is that you don't get Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) just from being adopted. My son who came at six years old has attachment issues, but the other ones are very attached. A conduct disorder can be a psychiatric disorder, such as bipolar (just an example). If so, then the child has it in his genetic history. I've found that our adopted kids are much like their birthparents in spite of never having seen them! Genetics are strong, in my opinion. I would have him professionally evaluated by a Child Psychiatrist (with the MD) or a neuropsychologist. It is common for mood disordered kids to do well in school but fall apart at home, at least until they get worse and can't control it anywhere. If there is any chance he may have a mood disorder (and a mood disorder or substance abuse on the family tree are red flags), then you owe it to your little one to see if he has one. Without medication, he will only get worse if this is the problem. Again, ODD rarely ever stands alone--it is more a symptom and probably describes every child on the board, although the big picture is different with each of our kids. Good luck!

 

[SearchingForRainbows]

Hi, You've already been given excellent advice by the others. I just wanted to let you know I'm glad you're here. This bb is full of really great people!!! It has made a big difference in my life. I hope we can help you too. WFEN

 

[flutterbee]

Before settling on a diagnosis of ODD, I would have a psychiatric evaluation done. While ODD is a diagnosis in it's own right, it is often seen with other disorders as a basket of symptoms. The process toward an accurate diagnosis requires patience. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

BBK...it's funny that you mention that Tink is the female version of Damien. difficult child answered to 'Damien' until she was about 3 and decided she didn't like it anymore. :rofl: Poor thing. And I wonder what's wrong with her. :wink:

But to the OP, yes it is quite common for a child to be able to hold it together at school and not at home. Depending on what our kiddos are dealing with, it can be quite exhausting to maintain all day and by the time they get home - in their safe zone - they just can't anymore. I never had a single complaint about my daughter in school which made it hard to get services, but at home it was WWIII every. single. day.

Welcome to the board. :flower:

 

[AllStressedOut]

Welcome to the board Joskids. Hope you found your post moved here by BBK.

I have a 7 year old difficult child that I also felt had ODD by my own diagnosis. I took him to a psychiatrist and he agreed, but he also felt he had ADHD and reactive hypoglycemia. He was put on a very strict diet as well as medication. He got better with the diet, but way worse with the medication changes and upping on dosages. We took him off medications over the summer and had him re-evaluated by a neuropsychologist who thought he may have Aspergers, bipolar, ADHD and some learning disabilties. Then we took him to a new psychiatrist. He started him on risperdal for bipolar. The change was visible the first full day he was on medication.

Let me give you some examples of his ODD like symptoms. He would sneak food off his diet and when caught by his teacher and told to spit it out, he refused. When she called me, he threw a huge screaming fit, both with her and the front office. He would take his brothers or sisters things and destroy them, tear them to shreds or break them. He would put clean clothes in the dirty laundry (I thought he did this because he knew I had to wash it and he was mad at me) Now I think it may have been that he just didn't like the way that shirt felt.

Since being on his medication, he has had smiley faces on his chart almost daily. If there is no smiley mark, he only has 1 tally mark for behavior that wasn't acceptable. But 1 mark???? That is GREAT for him!

I now believe the ODD traits were actually the bipolar traits reacting to the wrong medication. Does he still misbehave, SURE he does! Is it anything like it was? NO! I can handle this kiddo much easier than I could handle the one without this medicine.

But to be clear, my oldest difficult child started the same medicine at the same time and is not reacting to it the same. He actually has gotten more of an attitude on it.

Everyone is different. See if you can get your son into a neuropsychologist for a multi-disciplinary evaluation. Also check out the natural forum on this site. Great ideas for different natural treatments.

Good luck! Welcome again and (((hugs))) We all know how it feels to raise a difficult child.