Well, beige is a color. . .

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Kathy813, Dec 29, 2007.

  1. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    We just got back from a visit to my mom in Florida. For some crazy reason, I thought that difficult child had grown up enough that all four of us could go on a trip together.

    Well, let's just say that the best thing about the trip is that it is over.


    difficult child and easy child still fought even though they are 22 and 19 years old. I'm starting to wonder if they will even get along as adults.

    Back to the title of my thread, though. My mom has declined a lot in the six months since we last saw her. She is becoming more and more forgetful and unsteady on her feet. She is also getting more and more contrary.

    I bought her some new clothes since she hasn't had any in a long time. Not for lack of trying, though. I send her things and she has my brother send them right back saying that they don't fit.

    So I decided that this time I would bring the same clothes in two different sizes so she couldn't use that as an excuse. We brought boxes that were wrapped with the clothes in one size and a bag full of the same clothes in a larger size.

    My mother immediately got mad that we showed up with presents. I explained what I had done with the sizes and she said, "Well, it really wasn't the size that was the problem in the past."

    Okay, whatever. I suggested that she open the boxes but she didn't want to so I didn't push it. I just left the presents and the bag full of the extra sizes and suggested she open them that night and we would be back the next morning.

    When we saw her the next day, the presents were still not opened but she had looked in the bag. She told me to take them back because she didn't like the bright colors and that people at the ALF would laugh at her.

    I said, "What color, mom? They slacks and shirt are beige."

    So my mother said, "Well, beige is a color."

    So she won. How could I argue with that? I brought them all back home with me and will take them back to the store.

    Both easy child and difficult child pointed out later that I would probably end up just like her. I told them that I might get old and cranky but I couldn't ever see myself turning down new clothes.


    So my mom will continue wearing her worn out old clothes but will be happy. :its_all_good:

    I tried.


  2. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    You went and got her clothes in that bright beige that all the harpies are wearing, didn't you?
  3. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Gosh...sounds like my Grandma. NOTHING you could do would please her. I think in the end she knew I loved her, but just couldn't get past her ways. They get pretty stuck in their routine.

    Scariest thing is we'll all be there soon!! :smile:

  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    That reminds me of my grandma when she was suffering from dementia. Anything different confused and confounded her. She didn't want anyone to know how far gone she was, so she just refused to do anything with excuses that were inane.

    I hope that your brother is keeping an eye out for her, and that she already has everything in order.
  5. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    I'm tired of that bright, garish beige that you see everywhere nowadays too.
  6. Scent of Cedar II

    Scent of Cedar II New Member

    I know it!

    Beige, beige, beige, everywhere you look!


  7. goldenguru

    goldenguru New Member

    I hear that beige is the new black. LOL.

    Maybe give her a gift card next year.

    This is the exact reason we have quit 'gifting' on Christmas. Elderly people get to an age where they either need nothing or like nothing. *sigh*
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Well, Kathy, I think :bravo: your Mom has been going to school on the sly........and got an A in Detachment 101 ! DDD
  9. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    omg Kathy - I was laughing at your post cause I am a younger version of your mother when it comes to clothes.

    My mother would send boxfulls a couple of times a year - sometimes new, sometimes stuff she no longer wore, sometimes she would round up the relatives clothes and send them to me (cause you know your cousin Roxie only buys the best clothes) and you need to look nice at work. :rolleyes:

    Problem is that she nor anyone in my family have the same taste in clothes that I do, nor do we wear the same size. I appreciate the new underwear but was so not ready (to this day) for the old lady underwear, and am so no into girdles, generic padded bras, and won't even go into how I feel about Polyester pants..

    I gave up telling her that while I appreciated it, do not send any more clothes - my standard attire is jeans and a Tshirt,even at work, and if I have to do the rare dog and pony show, have a whole set of really good power suits and dresses. She still sends the clothes. And when she calls, I have them next to the phone so we can go over each and every item and I thank her. And then they are off to the GoodWill store. I hate for her to waste her money sending me stuff I won't wear, and paying an arm and a leg for shipping..sigh...

  10. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    (slaps head) SO THIS is why our men in uniform and hunters stand out? ALL THAT BLOODY BRIGHT BEIGE!

    Good grief hun - you're going to need a vacation to recoup from your vacation. I think I would have not been able to pass up telling my Mom - "I bought that frock you have on now." sheez - I can't wait to get cantankerous.
  11. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    What color were her old clothes? White?

  12. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Oh my, this reminds me of an elderly great-aunt. This lady was amazing, but having gone through the Depression was the most frugal person I ever met.

    We would send her nice things - that fit, that often were just new versions of what she had and loved. She would keep them in a drawer or closet.

    Anyone who came over was shown all these wonderful things her great niece (my mom mostly) loved her enought to send. She would look at them and stroke them lovingly.

    While wearing the underwear that the elastic died on 3 years ago and was held together with several safety pins.

    Someday our kids WILL say things like this about us.

    I think it is our God-given duty to drive our children crazy when we become elderly and have the time to really do it right!

    Sorry your mom was so unappreciative, especially after all your hard work with the shopping.

  13. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    No, her old clothes are not white. In fact, some are quite bright florals and some are even beige . They are just not new.

    She is also a child of the depression era, and like the person that susiestar described, is incredibly frugal. She has clothes that were given to her in her closet that she will just not wear. She just wears the same old clothes that she bought long ago.

    We had another funny story regarding shoes during our last visit. She complained that her shoes were too small and were hurting her feet. I looked inside and couldn't find the size so I asked her what size she wore. She told me that she had never worn larger than a 6.5 in her life.

    We took her to Kmart where I knew they had the Cobbie Cuddler brand shoes that she liked. In fact, she was wearing a black pair when we got there. I started at a 6.5 and it was much too small. We ended up buying a 9.5 in black and tan.

    We took her back to the assisted living facility that night and left the next day. I asked my brother a while later if she was wearing the new shoes. He said that she wouldn't wear the black ones since they were "men's shoes." I pointed out to him that they were the exact same ones (but a larger size) that she was wearing when we went shoe shopping.

    She also complained that the beige ones had a broken shoe lace which we didn't notice because we were "in such a hurry that they just dropped me off at the door with the shoes." Ummmm, that's not exactly how I remember it. In fact, she refused at the time to try the beige ones on or I would have noticed the broken shoelace. And we didn't drop her, the walker, and two boxes of shoes at the door of the ALF and speed off.


    Some of the things that she comes up with simply amaze me but I just chalk it off to old age. Arguing with her just upsets her so I just smile and shrug it off.

  14. Ally

    Ally New Member

    The elderly are funny. I bought my grandma 2 beautiful flannel nightgowns a couple of years ago for Christmas as she was bedridden and she wouldnt wear them because they were too nice. I told her not to be silly and then after that she never took them off.
  15. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Ally, I think that falls in the same category as saving the china
    and silverware in the closet. :rolleyes: I know many people who never used their most valuable "things". In my mind I just picture chests of valuables traveling from one generations closet
    to the next generation to the next. Maybe it all stems from stories of the Great Depression that my generation grew up hearing about. DDD
  16. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    My grandmother was Depression-frugal too. And she never learned to trust labor-saving devices. Her daughters bought her her first automatic dishwasher in the 80s. She would use it, but only after carefully washing and rinsing each dish first.
  17. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    My Mother said - "When I get like that" just do what you wanted to do anyway because I'll probably have Alzheimers and won't remember it.

    Gotta love her -