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Well I am almost 44 & Just learning today....
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 138158" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>I just had a thought David, and I wonder if it might help you with this.</p><p></p><p>When someone asks me a favour, I tend to think in terms of "billable hours". In other words, if I value my time at ? per hour, and this favour will take me 4 hours to do, then it works out to 4x?. Then I ask myself a few other questions:</p><p>- Is this person sufficiently valuable to me that I'm willing to give away that much time (money)?</p><p>- Does this person give me his or her time (money) when I am in need, willingly?</p><p>- Is the thing that they want me to do sufficiently important that it's worth my giving up my plans for the time</p><p></p><p>Now here's the key. When you figure out what your time is worth to you, make sure that you value yourself highly, the way you deserve to be valued. </p><p></p><p>Just for the sake of argument, let's use $70 per hour. Your time is valuable, because YOU are valuable. </p><p></p><p>So...your brother wants you to help him find a place, and more than likely to organize the moving truck and help him to move. How much time is that likely to take? Say 24 hours total. So...24 hours at $70 per hour is $1680.</p><p></p><p>Would you spend $1680 of your hard-earned money to do this for someone who has shown himself unwilling to help you with skills and knowledge he has when you need help?</p><p></p><p>Now, you don't need to explain this to any one. It probably won't make sense to them. But it's just something I do inside my head so that I can tell the difference between doing a favour for someone, and letting them impose on me.</p><p></p><p>I think Witz said it in another post, a while ago: " 'No' is a complete sentence."</p><p></p><p>by the way, I agree that even posting a listing on Craigslist was too kind. You need to detach and let him fend for himself. It will be good for him, AND it will teach him to respect you.</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 138158, member: 3907"] I just had a thought David, and I wonder if it might help you with this. When someone asks me a favour, I tend to think in terms of "billable hours". In other words, if I value my time at ? per hour, and this favour will take me 4 hours to do, then it works out to 4x?. Then I ask myself a few other questions: - Is this person sufficiently valuable to me that I'm willing to give away that much time (money)? - Does this person give me his or her time (money) when I am in need, willingly? - Is the thing that they want me to do sufficiently important that it's worth my giving up my plans for the time Now here's the key. When you figure out what your time is worth to you, make sure that you value yourself highly, the way you deserve to be valued. Just for the sake of argument, let's use $70 per hour. Your time is valuable, because YOU are valuable. So...your brother wants you to help him find a place, and more than likely to organize the moving truck and help him to move. How much time is that likely to take? Say 24 hours total. So...24 hours at $70 per hour is $1680. Would you spend $1680 of your hard-earned money to do this for someone who has shown himself unwilling to help you with skills and knowledge he has when you need help? Now, you don't need to explain this to any one. It probably won't make sense to them. But it's just something I do inside my head so that I can tell the difference between doing a favour for someone, and letting them impose on me. I think Witz said it in another post, a while ago: " 'No' is a complete sentence." by the way, I agree that even posting a listing on Craigslist was too kind. You need to detach and let him fend for himself. It will be good for him, AND it will teach him to respect you. Trinity [/QUOTE]
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Well I am almost 44 & Just learning today....
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