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Well I Feel Like a Crummy Parent Now
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 281083" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>I think my difficult child 1 felt that people thought she couldn't succeed, starting when she was held back in 2nd grade. We all told her it wasn't because she was dumb but other kids told her that was the reason and she believed them. Then, I thought we were really helping her by having lots of supports in place at school. She had an IEP for emotionally disturbed. Well, to her, Special Education meant she was stupid. It did not matter at all that all the adults around her told her she was very smart and that the supports were to help her emotionally. She had it in her mind that we thought she was stupid and couldn't do it. </p><p></p><p>It wasn't til she went to a rehab and got her GED that she felt smart. She was so through with high school---she refused to work on her diploma but wanted to work on the GED. By that time her academic careeer was the last thing on my mind--I was only wanting her to get off drugs and alcohol. The GED was totally her idea and she worked very hard to get it. We stayed completely out of it except to give her kudos for the great job she was doing.</p><p></p><p>This is long and rambling--I just want to say that my difficult child has been more capable than I thought she could be. She was so helpless around us but when she got out on her own she proved that she is able to take care of herself and she is proud of herself for that. Once she actually had to take charge of her life she proved she could do it and that gave her the confidence to keep going. She needed to be self-sufficient to gain confidence.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, I think you have done a great job! Please don't be so hard on yourself!</p><p></p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 281083, member: 3450"] I think my difficult child 1 felt that people thought she couldn't succeed, starting when she was held back in 2nd grade. We all told her it wasn't because she was dumb but other kids told her that was the reason and she believed them. Then, I thought we were really helping her by having lots of supports in place at school. She had an IEP for emotionally disturbed. Well, to her, Special Education meant she was stupid. It did not matter at all that all the adults around her told her she was very smart and that the supports were to help her emotionally. She had it in her mind that we thought she was stupid and couldn't do it. It wasn't til she went to a rehab and got her GED that she felt smart. She was so through with high school---she refused to work on her diploma but wanted to work on the GED. By that time her academic careeer was the last thing on my mind--I was only wanting her to get off drugs and alcohol. The GED was totally her idea and she worked very hard to get it. We stayed completely out of it except to give her kudos for the great job she was doing. This is long and rambling--I just want to say that my difficult child has been more capable than I thought she could be. She was so helpless around us but when she got out on her own she proved that she is able to take care of herself and she is proud of herself for that. Once she actually had to take charge of her life she proved she could do it and that gave her the confidence to keep going. She needed to be self-sufficient to gain confidence. Anyway, I think you have done a great job! Please don't be so hard on yourself! Jane [/QUOTE]
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