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Well I Knew It Would Happen Sooner Or Later....
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 667191" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Sorry I'm coming in late to this...I haven't been on here much! </p><p> </p><p>First things first, my standard disclaimer: EVERY STATE IS DIFFERENT. So what I know based on the laws of my state may not apply or be dead wrong. </p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>Do this! The money won't have any effect on his income at all and in fact should pay the measly $10 per month he isn't paying. Your child is entitled to it. </p><p> </p><p></p><p> </p><p>If I understand the situation correctly, the Court gave you full custody and he has NO visitation rights. You don't need to do anything but say "No." If he wants visitation rights at this point, he would have to seek to modify the order. That might be done in the state where the order was entered, but more likely under the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act, it would have to be brought in the state where you now live, if that's a different state. HE would have the burden of proving that the circumstances have changed and he should be allowed to visit. Now, realistically, Courts prefer to allow visitation and they tend to side with the most reasonable parent. So...if you are going to say no, I'd tell him the truth, that she doesn't have very good memories of him, that it took her a long time to get over the hurt, that she's in a good place and you don't want her hurt again, that him popping back into her life after all this time would upset her and, more importantly, you don't trust him to not just pop back out, so it's a very bad idea and you have to protect her. You might offer a compromise of sending him some recent photos or of maybe him writing her a letter and that you'd see how she reacts to that. Then maybe if letters go well and she's willing, a phone call...but that he is NOT going to just come see her suddenly, no way no how! </p><p> </p><p>If you and he communicate in writing, be sure to be polite and kind, making sure that it is clear that you are not doing this out of any ill will, but because protecting your child is your one and only priority and, while you are glad he's doing well, you feel it would be detrimental to her well being to suddenly have visits from a man she barely recalls. </p><p> </p><p>He's clearly a Difficult Child himself...and his choice to accept no visits so he didn't have to pay support...has consequences.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 667191, member: 17309"] Sorry I'm coming in late to this...I haven't been on here much! First things first, my standard disclaimer: EVERY STATE IS DIFFERENT. So what I know based on the laws of my state may not apply or be dead wrong. Do this! The money won't have any effect on his income at all and in fact should pay the measly $10 per month he isn't paying. Your child is entitled to it. If I understand the situation correctly, the Court gave you full custody and he has NO visitation rights. You don't need to do anything but say "No." If he wants visitation rights at this point, he would have to seek to modify the order. That might be done in the state where the order was entered, but more likely under the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act, it would have to be brought in the state where you now live, if that's a different state. HE would have the burden of proving that the circumstances have changed and he should be allowed to visit. Now, realistically, Courts prefer to allow visitation and they tend to side with the most reasonable parent. So...if you are going to say no, I'd tell him the truth, that she doesn't have very good memories of him, that it took her a long time to get over the hurt, that she's in a good place and you don't want her hurt again, that him popping back into her life after all this time would upset her and, more importantly, you don't trust him to not just pop back out, so it's a very bad idea and you have to protect her. You might offer a compromise of sending him some recent photos or of maybe him writing her a letter and that you'd see how she reacts to that. Then maybe if letters go well and she's willing, a phone call...but that he is NOT going to just come see her suddenly, no way no how! If you and he communicate in writing, be sure to be polite and kind, making sure that it is clear that you are not doing this out of any ill will, but because protecting your child is your one and only priority and, while you are glad he's doing well, you feel it would be detrimental to her well being to suddenly have visits from a man she barely recalls. He's clearly a Difficult Child himself...and his choice to accept no visits so he didn't have to pay support...has consequences. [/QUOTE]
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