Well I might as well just give up now

DDD

Well-Known Member
Seriously, Janet, I don't feel competent or informed enough to encourage you to take any specific step or steps to improve your position. I know you love the kids/gkids and Tony too. I know that your brother in law is ill or seriously deficient. The choice is yours. What I might do and what you feel comfortable doing could be as different as black and white. I'm sorry. I hope you make a decision when you are feeling rested, stable and not too vulnerable. Whatever you choose...make sure that you really "get" all the possible reprercusions. You and Tony are not kids and life will continue. Will you be better off in a different location or will you be better off where you are??? Only you can decide because it is YOUR life. I wish you the best...as always. DDD
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Thanks DDD, I am going to weigh everything carefully and not make any rash decisions. one of the keys is the grands. I would lose most of my ability to get to them any more.
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
I don't picture the grands being left with Tony and Buck on a vacant piece of land....particularly since Buck is not "all there". Ain't going to happen. If you relocate to a cleanly maintained apartment that is convenient and stress free you will be the destination. (Just to show how demented my thinking is lately about SS :) remember you can't have spare money or your benefits will be reduced. Sigh!) DDD
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
I dont get the type of disability that would reduce my check for having money but I would lose medicaid. But it appears Tony has come up with a temporary solution...somewhat. Not a very good solution but one that is going to have to work for the time being.

Tony has found a pull behind camper and he is going to buy it and let Buck live in it until he gets his stuff straight. Its only $300. Problem for us is that this came up the week that Tony gets fired. Well that makes it sound worse than it is, he is still hired with his company but his crew got fired from the job they were on because some tools got stolen and other crews blamed his crew. No evidence but they got fired anyway. I have no idea if it was someone on the crew or not. I know it wasnt tony. Tony will end up going to another job in a week or two but that leaves us short right now and especially when we want to take a trip up to visit Jamie for Easter.

I am not happy about Buck living in my backyard and living off our electricity and water but at least he will only have to come in the house to wash clothes. I wont have to cook for him. Wont have to listen to his mouth all the time.

This is a good thing though because Tony will have to stay out of town during the week if he goes to this other job so he knew it would be war here if he left me and Buck alone at the house. Perfect time for me to pick on Buck until he snapped. Of course that also would leave me quite vulnerable as well. Im gonna make sure Billy fixes my door lock so we can lock him out of the house.

I told Tony that he is going to have to make enough money out of his crafts to pay for his electricity because that is going to raise our bill a ton. How much you wanna bet he suddenly has food stamps so he has food to provide for himself when we arent his food source?

I sure hope Buck gets his disability and gets out of our hair.
 

Calamity Jane

Well-Known Member
If Tony has to temporarily go out of town for the other job, can he bring Buck along? If he's staying in a hotel, maybe Buck can join him. I wouldn't want Buck on the property AT ALL with Tony away.
 

nerfherder

Active Member
I am not happy about Buck living in my backyard and living off our electricity and water but at least he will only have to come in the house to wash clothes. I wont have to cook for him. Wont have to listen to his mouth all the time.

Whoa, that actually makes things lots easier, utilities-wise. I know this because my cottage is a travel trailer too and it was a problem we had to fix - and you can fix it in the other direction! Here's how:

Which outlet will be powering the trailer? Make sure it's the circuit breaker with the lowest amperage available. If you can't pick and choose, can't run an extension from the least powered (say, 15 amp circuit) then change the circuit breaker in the box to the lowest reasonable amperage. Unless you're at nasty altitude where you are, unlikely he'd even need a space heater at this point. And there is NO WAY IN HECK I'd trust someone with that level of processing with anything BUT one of those oil filled radiator-style heaters. Like Kiddo's.

I have Kiddo's space heater modified. I modified it with a couple of screws and crazy glue. I crazy glue'd the higher setting switch to "off" and CAREFULLY screwed and glue'd in a couple of screws, one on the dial, the other on the edge of the dial, so she can't turn it up any higher than half-way.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
I live in NC so it will be warming up here very soon. And nope, he wont be having any AC if I have my way. All I hear is how they grew up without running water, no AC, wood burning heat.....no, he can open windows and use a small box fan. My main worry is his bathroom and showering needs. I seriously doubt that the old septic tank that used to be there is still any good. Im not even sure that if it is good that you could hook a camper to it. Im upset enough that he will be on the water line before our house because that means our water pressure will be low if he keeps the water on at all. We have a water tap down there from when we had a singlewide trailer where he will be sitting. We now just keep a hose attached to it for if Tony needs to clean fish or any other disgusting stuff. We can add Buck to that list...lol.
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
I have a sneaky suspicion that Tony's idea is to get Buck all set up comfy cozy in that camper to appease you somewhat and Buck will be going no where. As in a man's point of view buck will be out of your home.

And we all know Buck has no plans to go anywhere.

I hate to say that and I certainly hope that isn't the case but given all that has gone on, that is what I expect.

Might be the only way to get Tony's attention in any real sense is to let it start hitting him in the wallet.......if you get my drift.

If Buck can stay in the trailer, manage to feed himself and not run up your utilities to the point where you can't pay them........and manage to stay away from you? Then it will work *maybe*. The odds of Buck doing that? Not very darn good.

Personally? I'd not utter a peep about the utilities. If you contribute to them.....pay only what you'd normally pay and refuse to worry about any extra, let that be Tony's headache. He created it, he can handle it. Don't argue about it, refuse to even discuss it. It's impossible to "fight" with someone who refuses to acknowledge you.

Man, I hope this works out much better than I expect. ugh
 

nerfherder

Active Member
When it comes to old travel trailers, don't assume the plumbing pump is functional at all. Also, it's not good to do a semi-permanent drain hose from the black/grey water tank port to the nearest septic port, as it needs the fluids to flush out the tank when you drain it. I'm learning these things as I go.

(Yes, I have some modifications to make on mine eventually, drop the tank and do a direct drop pipe to a septic port. Running water eventually too, the storage tank shattered when I moved it out.)

Have Tony check for old propane lines and don't let Buck hook any tanks up. Or, maybe, well, park the trailer so your home's outside the blast zone? :)
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Oh our home is definitely outside the blast zone...lol. We are about 300 feet from that area and a bunch of trees are between us and that lot. He will be sitting in our old chicken yard and where we dump trash. LOL. There are a ton of snakes down there. I refuse to even go down there. I have no idea how this thing is heated or cooks but Im betting its propane tanks. He will have to buy one of those little ones from Walmart or somewhere because ours is over at Cory's because that is the only way they had heat. If you dont already have a propane tank on your lot it costs a ton to get one sent out and set up. Especially without credit. Guess who doesnt have credit?

He wont have TV or any of the other creature comforts of home he has gotten used to living here. I will buy him two of those light bulbs that use less energy and last forever just because it saves me money. Two lights should be enough in a small camper. He has a 13 inch tv with a converter box but it wont pick up much at all. snow basically. Good, more time to work on his crafts that he has to make and sell to make enough money to live on.

I will have to wash my own dishes again but that wont actually be such an issue. The last week or so every time I have pulled out any pots or pans to use they were still caked with crud and I had to rewash them.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Oh that is too funny! I wonder if I could get some Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)'s from Fort Bragg? LOL Better yet, a couple of animal traps. Dang, how on earth did those get there? We never would used those considering we have dogs! Of course with my luck that is exactly what would what would get caught in them.

Campers do have small showers in them dont they? I dont care how small and uncomfortable. He has forced me to be uncomfortable in my home this entire time and not able to take my showers the way I wanted to for fear of the fact he might barge into the bathroom when I was in there or walk out when I was on my way from the bathroom to my bedroom. If I want to take a shower I have to take it in the bathroom the rest of the family uses, I can take a bath in my bathroom. I like to wash my hair in the shower though but since he has been here I havent been able to do that so I have had to wash my hair in the tub. Normally I take a shower at night when Tony is home because I have balance issues in the shower and we keep the door open so he can keep an ear open. Then he helps me dry off (hey, there is a lot to dry!) and I go to my room to get dressed. That simply cant happen when Buck can appear at any moment.
 

donna723

Well-Known Member
Another idea ... have you ever read the Stephen King book "Delores Claiborne", or seen the movie? Just asking, for no particular reason. Do you have a shovel? Just wondering ...
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Did you say it was a "camper" like what goes in the back of a pickup-truck? or a small travel trailer that gets towed?
The difference is... that "most" travel trailers have a washroom, which includes a shower. The newer campers also have that, but the older ones were lucky to even have a toilet. So... that part depends.

Grey water and black water tanks will only exist to the extent that you have plumbing in the unit. If they exist, do NOT do continuous flow-through. Fill the waste tanks, then open the drains and dump. You CAN leave the drain hoses hooked up permanently, though.

If it doesn't have a hot water heater, it will be hard to have a shower... just sayin'.
 

nerfherder

Active Member
InsaneCdn: I believe she meant travel trailer. I tried to warn about the grey/blackwater tanks, but I think you stated it better than I.

FYI, my "cottage" is a 24 foot '78 Kayot Forester, in pretty decent shape - wiring and even good, solid circuit breakers intact and I'm doing some reconstruction and mods on the interior as time goes on. All "trailer trash" jokes aside, it's nicer in here than a couple of townhomes I've lived in. That kind of dwelling's pretty common in these parts, it's the cheapest and easiest way to get around the extensive need for zoning permits and bureaucratic insistence on septic upgrades.

I'm thinking Mr. Buck there will probably trash the trailer into being nothing better than something to hang shooting targets from once he moves out. Although y'all could strip out the interior and convert it into a storage shed or ham radio shack, eh Janet?
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Im not thinking this place can be much to begin with considering we are supposed to get if for 300 bucks. I doubt it will be anywhere near that big. I do know the guy who is selling it has lived in it for awhile but is now getting married and wifey refuses to move in there. Im assuming that says something for the place. From what I have been told though, it does travel. Im actually sort of hoping it is fairly nice because Tony and I always wanted a camper. We arent giving this to Buck, he can stay there until he can move on. He isnt going to pay us for it obviously.

Im still not completely understanding the water situation but I guess I will understand it more when I actually see it. I have never actually even been inside a camper before.
 
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