Well its done...Program and Transport set up.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Dazed n Confused, Mar 1, 2010.

  1. Dazed n Confused

    Dazed n Confused New Member

    Well I have just about finalized all of the paperwork for my difficult child to head off to wilderness camp. He does not know he is going. We have hired a transport service to take him. We went back and forth on this a thousand times. It just depends on the day and his mood.

    I would hate for my husband and him to get to the airport and then him refuse to get out of the car. If we were able to get him into the airport there wouldn't be any outbursts, that would draw attention to himself and his anxiety will NOT allow that.

    Hopefully I have made the right decision and I don't traumatize him more by have someone pick him up in the middle of the night and drive to the airport. He needs to go though, he is 17 and we need to get his life back on track.

    The new medications for Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) seem to be helping its only been 10 days but no side effects so far.
    Sorry for all the rambling.........I guess now is the point when parents start questioning if they have made the right decision.
     
  2. Valentine

    Valentine New Member

    I totally understand... I had to put mine in a PRTF after he spent 3 weeks in a hospital setting. I miss him soooo much BUT things have been calmer. The day I took him to the hospital we arrived there in the wee morning hours and I had a really hard time leaving him and I cried for days over it. On the flip side he is doing better but he misses home.
     
  3. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Dazed - I'm sending you many *many* gentle hugs. This is one of the hardest, if not the hardest, decisions you'll ever have to make. It was not made lightly and you are doing it for your son. I think the transport idea is a good one.

    We're here for you. Again - good thoughts coming your way.
     
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Dazed, this was the hardest decision my husband and I have ever made as parents, but we've never second-guessed our decision. I hope that will be your experience as well.

    I also want you to know that when my son went to wilderness, he was medically stable, but socially withdrawn, academically underachieving and therapy resistant. What he needed most of all was intensive therapy, and this was not something that was remotely available in our community. The magic of wilderness is that the teen is removed from all distractions and forced to confront himself.

    Gentle hugs going out to you this morning.
     
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Dazed, I haven't gotten to that point YET, but I don't envy you having to make such a big decision. Trying to figure out what's for dinner seems to be so trivial when I think of what you've gone through.

    God bless you for having the strength to figure out what's best for him and I'll pray that it goes well and things are resolved quickly - you deserve that!

    Keeping good thoughts for you...

    Beth
     
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im also thinking of you and wishing you well. While it may feel like the hardest thing in the world, you are potentially saving your sons life. Remember that.

    Good luck. We are here for you.
     
  7. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Hugs. Know we are with you.
     
  8. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    You are doing everything you can to help your son. Take comfort in that. ((Hugs))
     
  9. Dazed n Confused

    Dazed n Confused New Member

    Thank you everyone. Deep down inside I know its the right choice. He is so socially withdrawn its not healthy, his depression isn't healthy and his rages aren't healthy either.

    I have an appointment. this morning with my doctor so I can hopefully get something to calm my nerves and atleast let me function somewhat normally. My husband and easy child are remaining calm, I think its because I am a mess. My husband has never had to cook and do the dishes so much right now, but atleast he is doing them and not complaining or nagging at me to get over it.

    I just hope that for the $$ that is being spent he can lead somewhat of a normal life since he will be 18 in Jan. I don't care where he works, can get a drivers license, and take care of himself. Right now he doesn't have the desire to do any of that.

    Thanks again for listening to me ramble...........I am so glad that I found this. People with "normal" children just don't understand. My close friends try but its not the same.
     
  10. I had the honesty to tell my daughter that she had to go to the weekend boot camp. There was a kind of tantrum, but she somehow knew that we had to change our ways before it got out of hand, so she accepted our decision. I couldn't really make a decision to have strangers come in and handcuff her in her bedroom at night.
     
  11. KJsMama

    KJsMama New Member

    I'm so sorry...I'm right where you are right now and I agree, it's so nice to have a place like this where people understand. ((((hugs))))
     
  12. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It is good you know it is for the best. You are being the best mom you can be by making the very hardest of decisions.

    HUGS! We will be here to support you!
     
  13. Dazed n Confused

    Dazed n Confused New Member

    My difficult child has extreme anxiety and knowing that he is going somewhere that is the "unknowN' would send him over the edge before it was time to leave. My husband works in law enforcement and the two guys that are coming to pick him up one is a police officer also. My husband is going to be there during the process of picking him up.

    If we felt my husband could take him with no problem we would tell him, however it depends on the day and moment. As a family, my parents and his counselors included decided this was the best way to handle the situation. Some of you may think I am being decietful to him, but in the long run I am saving my parents and husband from the blow up that will occur before he gets picked up.

    I can say this about my son, he has never refused counseling or medication (he knows there is a problem), he is respectful of authority, but he is extremely uncomfortable with the unknown and it sends him over the edge. We chose aa transport company that I feel extremely comfortable with and the guarantee me NO useful force or restraints. With my husband being there I know that he can help defuse any situation that arises. The only reason he is not taking him is so there isn't the chance my husband feels guilty or lsitens to I promise I will change, etc.

    He is 17 and this is our last chance to somewhat make his life better. My only hope is that he can happily live in society and take care of himself.

    Thanks again to everyone for the support, it is definently needed. :D
     
  14. iloveturtles

    iloveturtles Guest

    Dazed,

    Trust your heart. It sounds like you have made the best informed, loving and difficult decision for your family. My prayers are with you.
     
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