Well...looks like I'm going to be a Grandma

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Abbey, Dec 4, 2007.

  1. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    J called this afternoon me that his 44 year old girlfriend is pregnant and they need money for medical bills. :smile:

    She doesn't work...he barely works.

    I'm stunned, but shouldn't be.

  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Congrats on becoming a grandma.

    Ignore the rest. If they can make a baby, they can pay for a baby.

  3. Scent of Cedar II

    Scent of Cedar II New Member

    I absolutely agree.

    Put any money you would have sent into an account for the baby ~if there is one ~ after its birth.

    A forty four year old woman becomes pregnant accidentally?

    I don't think so....

  4. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Wow! J as a dad. Now that's a thought isn't it?
    Hope they figure out how to pay for the child. Why would he think you and husband would pay the medical bills? Strange thinking.
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I might believe it if I were in the room when the doctor did the sonogram and they could prove to me it wasn't the mother's heartbeat. How convenient to get pregnant right before the holidays. Wonder what they'd do if you said send me the doctor bills and I'll see what I can do? Bet he'd be as mad as he was at Thanksgiving.
  6. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    They haven't seen a doctor yet. Just done the in-home test. He wants money to go see a doctor. husband (bless his heart) is just glad that he has made it this long out of prison. He is the weak link. I'm sure he'll be sending him money. I just said..."Hey Grandpa!!" He about died. :surprise:

    On the plus side, I've seen many of our difficult child's over the years that this was a life changing event for the positive. Maybe it will be something that he sees a reason to live a decent life for. Who knows.

  7. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    If she's pregnant, she should qualify for medicaid.

    I hope what you've seen on the board with our other difficult child's holds true for J, as well.

    If husband is insistent on sending money for the doctor visit, I would call the doctor's office they want to go to and give them a credit card number for that visit only.
  8. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I never had to give my ob's a penny until the babies were born. Office visits were free. The delivery cost a lot...
  9. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE


    Wish I could have seen his face, Abbey.

    Congrats, Grandma. I sure don't envy you. :smile: I'm sending good thoughts.

  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Let me get this straight. 44 year old woman...sometimes druggy...is dating your 23 year old ex-con, (lets hope) ex druggy son?

    Good lord! People will think the mother is the grandmother! I am only one year older than she is and I have kids your sons age! Idiotic isnt even the word.
  11. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Congradulations anyway on being a gramma. Is this the girl (sorry, woman) who overdose a little while back?? Sigh..

    When SO's neice was living with us briefly and and was pregnant, she qualified for all kind of assistance with the State of Ca., even though she only had Arizona papers. All she had to do was go to the doctors for a formal pregnancy test, and it cost nothing. Once it was confirmed, food stamps kicked in immediately, WIC, and she was put on the list for housing.

    There is also low cost insurance in Ca. called Healthy Families -eldest qualified because she was single despite making too much money to qualify for anything else.

  12. ctmom05

    ctmom05 Member

    <span style='font-family: Courier New'> Somehow I don't think congrats is what you are looking for right now. I imagine you are somewhat stunned, confused, and disappointed that your son may have created another difficult situation for himself.

    Let the dust settle, if girlfriend really is expecting your son's child, perhaps one way to think about things is that he needs to be the Dad much more than you need to be a Gramma.</span>
  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Maybe it isn't a baby after all. Maybe it is all the extra food
    stored from the Thanksgiving donated goodies you provided. DDD :rofl: Good Grief! Sorry........shouldn't make fun of an
    impending possible birth but geez it sure is shortly after the
    turkey day fiasco!
  14. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    WOW Abbey :nonono:

    Just to make you and dammitJanet feel better....I am 2 years younger than J's girlfriend....and come to think of it, difficult child is only 1 year younger than J. Gee. That's some math, right there.

    Sorry for your hurting heart. Perhaps this will bring the positive change they both need. Prayers & hugs coming your way.

  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Isnt there just something icky about someone old enough to be one of US here on the PE board having a kid with one of OUR kids? EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!


    It would be like coming on here and reading that Fran was having Cory's love child..... :nonono:
  16. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I've been thinking on this.....

    I wonder if this so called pregnancy might be a way girlfriend thought up to gain your sympathy and get some cash. May not be a pregnancy at all, just a con. (she can always say she lost it later)

    I mean at 44, I find it very hard to believe this woman isn't very familiar with all of the services out there.

  17. goldenguru

    goldenguru New Member

    I would wait and see what plays out.

    She should be eligible for Medicaid.

    A baby is precious no matter what the circumstances. Being a grand mother is an incredible privilege whatever the circumstances.

    My daughter is one whose entire life was turned around by an unplanned pregnancy. And while it isn't what I dreamed for her - it has made her the person she is today.

    See what happens.

  18. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Janet. :smile:
  19. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Hey Abbey - just wanted to send you some warm hugs. I'm sorry for the shock of it all.

    This could turn out to be a blessing in disguise in one shape or form (not necessarily a baby).
  20. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    As the grandmother of two "unplanned" grandkids, I can relate to the feeling of panic and disbelief you are probably feeling. :smile:
    Although my difficult child's situation is much different than yours (both mom and dad are much TOO YOUNG to be parents), in other ways there are parallels as neither of them seem to be able to hold a job for more than a month or two. difficult child continues to smoke pot. The whole situation is enough to make me pull my hair out but difficult child's wife does seem to be a good mother and they get food stamps so I know they're not letting the kids go hungry.

    I agree with the others about letting time take its course and see what happens. My difficult child wouldn't know the truth if it bit him in the posterior and yours may be the same. Maybe she's pregnant; maybe not. If she is the one with the drug problem, maybe she will carry the baby to term; maybe not. If she is actually pregnant, maybe she will choose to carry the baby to term; maybe not. I think all you can do at this point is stand back and let nature take its course.

    I can say that if the result is a baby, a baby is a joy no matter what the situation. There are times I could kill both difficult child and his wife (actually that is only a figure of speech :rolleyes: ) but the grandkids are one of the joys of my life in spite of everything.

    As far as her getting pregnant at 44, it does show a definite lack of responsibility but considering her history and her choices, it is doubtful that she is a paragon of whatever. I am reminded that I had my last difficult child at nearly age 40 and I had absolutely NO PROBLEM getting pregnant. I wasn't even trying so just because somebody is OLD doesn't mean the plumbing doesn't still work.