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Parent Emeritus
Well, my friends, I am back and it is not good news . . .
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 352165" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I'm so sorry, Kathy. Quite honestly, your difficult child sounds borderline, she is so much like my Oldest. If you haven't read the "Walking on Eggshells" book .. I'd suggest getting your hands on a copy. Actually I found the sequel, "The Essential Famly Guide" even better for offering specific strategies: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Family-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/1592853633/ref=dp_cp_ob_b_title_2" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Family-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/1592853633/ref=dp_cp_ob_b_title_2</a></p><p></p><p>I think she is playing you to the hilt. I know it's incredibly difficult, because I've been there, but it's time to work on putting up some pretty strong boundaries, and sticking to them. I guarantee you she will come up with an alternative plan, with multiple promises to do better, and continue to "play the mental health card" (your words!) as long as you let her. She will sob, cry, scream, make excuses, but she won't become self-sufficient until she is forced to. </p><p></p><p>My Oldest is 26. She still job surfs, couch surfs, friend surfs. But she survives. She makes her living (or not) as a waitress/bartender. She's still fully Borderline (BPD), refuses mental health support, but she finds a way.. and your difficult child will find a way, too, if she has to.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 352165, member: 1157"] I'm so sorry, Kathy. Quite honestly, your difficult child sounds borderline, she is so much like my Oldest. If you haven't read the "Walking on Eggshells" book .. I'd suggest getting your hands on a copy. Actually I found the sequel, "The Essential Famly Guide" even better for offering specific strategies: [url]http://www.amazon.com/Essential-Family-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/1592853633/ref=dp_cp_ob_b_title_2[/url] I think she is playing you to the hilt. I know it's incredibly difficult, because I've been there, but it's time to work on putting up some pretty strong boundaries, and sticking to them. I guarantee you she will come up with an alternative plan, with multiple promises to do better, and continue to "play the mental health card" (your words!) as long as you let her. She will sob, cry, scream, make excuses, but she won't become self-sufficient until she is forced to. My Oldest is 26. She still job surfs, couch surfs, friend surfs. But she survives. She makes her living (or not) as a waitress/bartender. She's still fully Borderline (BPD), refuses mental health support, but she finds a way.. and your difficult child will find a way, too, if she has to. [/QUOTE]
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Parent Emeritus
Well, my friends, I am back and it is not good news . . .
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