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Well, my son thinks demanding respectfulness is abuse towards him...lol
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<blockquote data-quote="scent of cedar" data-source="post: 597401" data-attributes="member: 1721"><p>I just wanted to add that we need to remember that, however big and strong our sons get...we are still their mothers. And while I know it doesn't feel much like it while they are railing or swearing at us, or accusing or blaming us for everything under the sun ~ they hear the words we say to them.</p><p></p><p>They listen.</p><p></p><p>They may not be able to listen to anyone else in the world. But on some level, some part of them is listening to us, to the voices and the wisdom of their mothers. They trust us.</p><p></p><p>I think sometimes they are lost, and need a way to go and someone to believe better of them than who they are right that minute. </p><p></p><p>And because we're their mothers, because they trust us and because we love them, what we say can bring them back.</p><p></p><p>So we need to say the things they need to hear.</p><p></p><p>You are a man. I expect more from you. Or as you did this time MWM, I expect to be treated with respect and will tolerate nothing less. Or, men take care of themselves and their families. Of course you can. I'm proud of you. You are doing the right thing. (You might have to look hard for reasons to justify those statements!)</p><p></p><p>I never could figure out why difficult child son would call at all, when the conversations would devolve into what they devolved into. I didn't know any better than to say the things I believed, back. It was like difficult child son needed to hear that. Maybe drug use really does mess with their senses of reality, with their internal compasses?</p><p></p><p>Anyway, that's what I did, and difficult child son is ~ I'm really proud of who he is and of how he is doing, today.</p><p></p><p>Every so often, he will still call all riled up. </p><p></p><p>Mostly, he's taking responsibility for himself, these days.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="scent of cedar, post: 597401, member: 1721"] I just wanted to add that we need to remember that, however big and strong our sons get...we are still their mothers. And while I know it doesn't feel much like it while they are railing or swearing at us, or accusing or blaming us for everything under the sun ~ they hear the words we say to them. They listen. They may not be able to listen to anyone else in the world. But on some level, some part of them is listening to us, to the voices and the wisdom of their mothers. They trust us. I think sometimes they are lost, and need a way to go and someone to believe better of them than who they are right that minute. And because we're their mothers, because they trust us and because we love them, what we say can bring them back. So we need to say the things they need to hear. You are a man. I expect more from you. Or as you did this time MWM, I expect to be treated with respect and will tolerate nothing less. Or, men take care of themselves and their families. Of course you can. I'm proud of you. You are doing the right thing. (You might have to look hard for reasons to justify those statements!) I never could figure out why difficult child son would call at all, when the conversations would devolve into what they devolved into. I didn't know any better than to say the things I believed, back. It was like difficult child son needed to hear that. Maybe drug use really does mess with their senses of reality, with their internal compasses? Anyway, that's what I did, and difficult child son is ~ I'm really proud of who he is and of how he is doing, today. Every so often, he will still call all riled up. Mostly, he's taking responsibility for himself, these days. :O) Barbara [/QUOTE]
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Well, my son thinks demanding respectfulness is abuse towards him...lol
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