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Well THAT Didn't Work...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 418812" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>When I was a kid there were times I was disrespectful, times when my friends were. But NOTHING like kids now. Maybe that sounds like an old fogie, but if I said I would meet my mom somewhere then I had dang well better be there with-in 5 min or let her know why. If I wasn't? It better be an emergency. Now we only had 2 vehicles and my dad worked 70 miles away, so I had to share with my mom. This meant if I wanted the car I had to get her to work, pick her up afterward - when SHE was ready, not when I was, AND I had to run errands. And get them RIGHT. I did the drycleaning run, the post office, filled the gas tank (often with MY money because after all I was getting to use the car), and even did a lot of the meal planning and grocery shopping. NONE of that excluded me from chores at home, either.</p><p> </p><p>The mall was 90 minutes away. If I was late meeting my mom? It was a long, uncomfortable drive home.</p><p> </p><p>Had I done the things a difficult child does? NO WAY would I have survived. </p><p> </p><p>WTF is going on that these difficult child things are "developmentally appropriate"? There is NO WAY that my parents would have tolerated these actions from me, not without one heck of a lot of natural and logical consequences. At one point one of the doctors tried to tell my mom that it was "normal" for a teen to sneak out of the house at night and to drink, smoke and experiment with pot. My mother's reaction?? Not in my child it isn't normal, and if she wants to have any type of life she won't even try them. </p><p> </p><p>When my bro tried the sneaking out? His windows were nailed shut, my parents checked on him and if he snuck out he came home in fear because he never ever knew what to expect. My mother once painted his feet with tuna juice and locked the cat in his room with him. He is incredibly ticklish and had he not been passed out drunk he would have known she was putting it on him. Bro liked to fall asleep in the nude in the family room while watching cinemax late at night (we didn't pay for it, it was there when we moved in and it took 2 years of calling the cable co over and over and over to get it removed!). At one point my mother applied very LONG strips of duct tape lengthwise on his hairy legs. He wanted to do a big baking project and refused to clean it up for a week - my mother didn't just put it on his bed. She put it under his blankets and rubbed them into the mold and yuck growing in the bowls. </p><p> </p><p>I was more than a little afraid of what she might come up with, and sober so was my bro. It was worse because she didn't raise her voice or do more than give you a look. You knew what you did wrong. </p><p> </p><p>NO WAY would she have accepted "developmentally appropriate". Why do so many people try to write off bad behavior and rudeness as normal because a person is a certain age? I can see it for the elderly, they have worked hard to live that long and they have earned the right to be cantankerous. But what has a teen done to earn the right to be badly behaved? </p><p> </p><p>How many of us had parents who said that everyone else might do something but their child wasn't going to and then made that happen? Why is it that when WE do this we are told by teachers, docs, tdocs, etc... that we are expecting too much, being unreasonable or my particular favorite - that it is developmentally appropriate for them to be bad mannered ill behaved hooligans and we are being unreasonable to expect anything else??</p><p> </p><p>Off my soapbox. Sorry - I know you share my frustrations. </p><p> </p><p>If I win the lotto instead of Star I am going to hire her to set up the island for us! The kids can do their own society and live with the repercussions of sharing an island with a bunch of other difficult children who all want their own way all the time!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 418812, member: 1233"] When I was a kid there were times I was disrespectful, times when my friends were. But NOTHING like kids now. Maybe that sounds like an old fogie, but if I said I would meet my mom somewhere then I had dang well better be there with-in 5 min or let her know why. If I wasn't? It better be an emergency. Now we only had 2 vehicles and my dad worked 70 miles away, so I had to share with my mom. This meant if I wanted the car I had to get her to work, pick her up afterward - when SHE was ready, not when I was, AND I had to run errands. And get them RIGHT. I did the drycleaning run, the post office, filled the gas tank (often with MY money because after all I was getting to use the car), and even did a lot of the meal planning and grocery shopping. NONE of that excluded me from chores at home, either. The mall was 90 minutes away. If I was late meeting my mom? It was a long, uncomfortable drive home. Had I done the things a difficult child does? NO WAY would I have survived. WTF is going on that these difficult child things are "developmentally appropriate"? There is NO WAY that my parents would have tolerated these actions from me, not without one heck of a lot of natural and logical consequences. At one point one of the doctors tried to tell my mom that it was "normal" for a teen to sneak out of the house at night and to drink, smoke and experiment with pot. My mother's reaction?? Not in my child it isn't normal, and if she wants to have any type of life she won't even try them. When my bro tried the sneaking out? His windows were nailed shut, my parents checked on him and if he snuck out he came home in fear because he never ever knew what to expect. My mother once painted his feet with tuna juice and locked the cat in his room with him. He is incredibly ticklish and had he not been passed out drunk he would have known she was putting it on him. Bro liked to fall asleep in the nude in the family room while watching cinemax late at night (we didn't pay for it, it was there when we moved in and it took 2 years of calling the cable co over and over and over to get it removed!). At one point my mother applied very LONG strips of duct tape lengthwise on his hairy legs. He wanted to do a big baking project and refused to clean it up for a week - my mother didn't just put it on his bed. She put it under his blankets and rubbed them into the mold and yuck growing in the bowls. I was more than a little afraid of what she might come up with, and sober so was my bro. It was worse because she didn't raise her voice or do more than give you a look. You knew what you did wrong. NO WAY would she have accepted "developmentally appropriate". Why do so many people try to write off bad behavior and rudeness as normal because a person is a certain age? I can see it for the elderly, they have worked hard to live that long and they have earned the right to be cantankerous. But what has a teen done to earn the right to be badly behaved? How many of us had parents who said that everyone else might do something but their child wasn't going to and then made that happen? Why is it that when WE do this we are told by teachers, docs, tdocs, etc... that we are expecting too much, being unreasonable or my particular favorite - that it is developmentally appropriate for them to be bad mannered ill behaved hooligans and we are being unreasonable to expect anything else?? Off my soapbox. Sorry - I know you share my frustrations. If I win the lotto instead of Star I am going to hire her to set up the island for us! The kids can do their own society and live with the repercussions of sharing an island with a bunch of other difficult children who all want their own way all the time! [/QUOTE]
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