well the time bomb went off

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Mar 24, 2011.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    and she blew tonight.

    she came home this afternoon, not sure if cops returned her. had difficult child at therapy and easy child was here when we got back.

    long story short the blocks on her cell i guess hit today. all of a sudden husband walked in and she thought ok now's a good time....

    she walked into my room and she just went off. about lack of lunch money, her cell being shut off at 10:30. it's limited usage 3 to 10:30 each day. not bad i thought. at least during school hours she can't text.

    and she belittled me, put me down, was beyond nasty. i dont' even want to write what she said it was that bad. finally she stopped when i threatened to call the cops if she didn't get a grip. difficult child was hysterical crying in her room.

    i had to lay with difficult child for 30 minutes to calm her. easy child bashed her, the fact that it's always "all" about difficult child, inbetween how i'm a s*** because i divorced and well a few other choices things.

    husband at one point when into her room and said to her your upsetting difficult child please stop. i than said when she didn't the cop threat and i meant it. he yelled at melet it go, i told him are you kidding me? he went against me in the middle of the line of fire. i told him to back off.

    well i'm inside with difficult child as she's crying trying to calm her and out of the corner of my eye i see him carrying his work bag, gym bag with jacket on leaving!

    yup it's that insane. off he went into his truck. text me and said how dare i treat him that way... ?? lol omg. unreal. yet again making it about him. not hey you ok? let me help. etc. no i told him to back off when he yelled at me to let it go with easy child. to him that was unfair treatment and off he went.

    needless to say my quitting smoking isn't going well....... i'm off to have one out back after she calms down more and hopefully falls asleep.

    who knew two hospitalizations could cause such chaos? this easy child of mine is like a coke bottle, she's never poured any of her junk out, worked on it going back YEARS now. so tonight that bottle exploded everywhere.

    what a mess is all i can say...... and yet ofcourse i had to share my never ending joy with all of you as i sit here alone in my room kinda stupified right now lol. to think all i wanted was to watch a movie alone which i had on. what must i of been thinking, after spending day at therapists with difficult child, horseback riding for difficult child, making dinner, walking dogs, laundry, cleaning house etc. oh yea and calling cops, searching for easy child

    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!!
  2. Allan-Matlem

    Allan-Matlem Active Member

    when we learn something from a not so good day , we can make some of it a positive experience

    I don't think that husband had to back you up ' in the line of fire ' but he could have come up to try set up a cease fire and see if he could facilitate some problem solving . If we do not take the united front approach , often the spouse that is not directly involved in the conflict can come in and offer a different solution or at least calm things down

    I hope you have better days

  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Chaos begets chaos which begets chaos. None of the four of you are in a "good place" due to the extended length of crisis living. Even long term spouses who are not the primary caregiver have difficulty figuring out what to do or say when all heck is breaking loose. Many husband's (and some wife's) leave the battle field when they know they don't have the answers. I've often wished I was in the subservient parent position........I would have headed out many times!

    Hope things settle down. DDD
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    ...Um. When you're the "backup parent"? You feel that if you leave, things will REALLY fall apart...

    Hugs, Jen. Lots of them. And I hope you had a good time with your friend.