Well, this is different!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jungleland, Feb 1, 2008.

  1. Jungleland

    Jungleland Welcome to my jungle!

    Very strange living with just one child and no spouse. Jayme is soooo much calmer, less moody, just a happier kiddo.

    Aly continues to have issues at school, lots of tears, needing LOTS of time with various and sundry of school staff. The story of how my hand was broke has changed each time she has told it. Stack of books fell on it. The bed mattress fell on it. When i was trying to grab her, I grabbed her too hard and broke my own arm...yada yada yada, you get the picture.

    husband (hard to put the D there right now) is the President of Putting Head in Sand. If he just takes her out to dinner every night, buys her new crayons or new cds or new whatever, she is one happy camper. Just wondering when he will feel enough is enough?!?!?!? I have several calls into Aly's Crisis team manager, we are playing phone tag. UGH! I have serious concerns over husband's lack of :anxious: worry about what should be done right now to help Aly in the future. He feels we would be "throwing her into the system" by putting her in a treatment center. I left a message to Crisis team manager stating how concerned I am about his lack there of!

    Jayme and I are settled into our own apartment, the very next complex from my oldest daughter, so we get lots of support, thankfully!! It is awfully nice knowing I have someone to call and will be here in 2 minutes if I need them. We are having major money issues, couldn't get through to the people who can help me set up some financial aide, etc today, hopefully on monday.

    My arm is killing me, will probably go to the quicky serve medication clinic tomorrow but did set up an appointment to get established with a "real" doctor next week. I know I might need surgery on my arm, I can't grasp anything with my right arm and typing is killing me. Driving is very difficult, so I am doing as little as possible. But, I need medi-cal or some sort of other medical financial help immediately.

    No idea what will happen, taking life one hour at a time these days. I am prepared to single parent Jayme for as long as needed if not forever. Sad enough to type, let alone think about.

    Anyways, gotta get icing my arm and then get the dang air cast back on and try to sleep in the contraption.

    Thank you all who sent private messages, I really appreciate it. I am praying more now than ever before in my life.

    I will try to keep in touch. Best wishes to those who need them. I miss you all!

    Hugs and love,
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Sending many hugs. This has to be so hard.

    Its good you are still working for Ally, tho. She needs you. And perhaps she needs you to advocate for her from an apartment away from her. Just pray some day she realizes that.

  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    Sending many ((((hugs)))) and saying prayers for you, girl. I know this has got to be really difficult to go through.

    Hang in there.
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    :angel:You keep hanging in there....things are going to fall into place for you. I too would be concerned about "D"h's (I actually never liked using the D to describe ex because he is not my darling or my dear - that's why I call him bonehead instead :laugh:) inablity to see that Aly needs more than "stuff" and love to get through life. Heck, how many of our difficult children would be easy child's if love was all there was to it?

    I'm sorry your arm is still so bad. Get ye to the doctor right away. Perhaps if you go to the er or a doctor in the box you can get a monthly payment plan and you can get some immediate treamtment. Surgery in the long run........handle that when it presents itself. But I would have it looked at so that you are not doing more harm by doing nothing.

    I'm glad that Jayme is doing so well. Living in stressful circumstances can really change you. Nice to have your daughter so close.

    Take care of yourself Vickie,
    We are here for you,
  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    Keeping you & yours in my thoughts. Such a difficult situation.

    I worry for Aly a great deal right now. The ultimate consequence for physical aggression (separation from parent(s) ) is one of the most difficult times in my humble opinion for our difficult children. The fact that husband isn't (apparently) getting Aly help right now is disturbing.

    Take care of yourself. I'm glad you're getting some peace & quiet with Jayme.
  6. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    It sounds like this respite is doing good for both of you - it's amazing how calm a situation can get with certain players removed from it. I'm very concerned about you and your arm! Take this quieter time to rejuvenate the best you can. Things will settle in and whatever is supposed to happen will. I'm a big believer in Karma. So sorry for all you're going through and glad you have made changes that will hopefully be for the better.
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{{Vicki}}} I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Take each day one at a time and go slowly. It's good that you're reaching out for Aly's welfare, just try not to get yourself lost in it.

    I hope that H (I don't like the D part either because it just isn't always so) comes to his senses and realizes that Aly needs a whole lot more than dinners out and new crayons. He is probably in some level of shock as well, you know, the newness of it and the fact that he chose this. Hopefully it will only be a short while until he realizes what has transpired and then get on top of things - for EVERYONE'S benefit.

    Sending hugs~
  8. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    I was looking for an update, sorry your arm still hurts.....thinking if you go to an er you might get some relief.....sorry about your circumstances and hope your husband gets a truer picture of what Aly is capable of......thinking of you and stay safe......
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    I have been thinking about you a lot on and off the last week. I'm glad to hear you are settled and Jayme is doing better.

    I think at least H is H - and while he's doing the Aly tour alone - when she turns on him - he'll know what you were talking about. It is just a matter of when. Not how.

    glad to hear you smile - it's a nice change for you! :tongue:
  10. VickiL

    VickiL New Member

    I've been out of the loop for a while and not really on the board much, but I just wanted to send hugs and support for you and Jayme (and H and Aly). Glad easy child is so close. Hope you are still up in "God's country" though!
  11. Jena

    Jena New Member


    It's good to hear from you to know how you are both doing. I know it may seem so very hard right now, yet it will get easier. You are an amazing person just remember that and a great caring Mother.

    I always find when life gets almost unbearable with all the pressures to if you can take those quiet "you" moments to soak up the good things, teh simple things it can be as simple as the sunrise with a good cup of coffee and cig. if you smoke, or the sunset after a long day.

    I wish I could send you the book "simple abundance" it's quite helpful. Don't know if you'll have time to hit a library but if you do keep that in mind.

    I hope your arm feels better i'm praying for you, but you are going to be ok

    lots of hugs and warmest wishes
  12. Jungleland

    Jungleland Welcome to my jungle!


    I went back to the clinic today and found out that the small fracture they thought they saw initially on the Xray has improved. But, the pain is much worse so they did another Xray this time including my whole hand and no broken bone but doctor is suspecting a torn tendon in my thumb, where it attaches to my wrist. does that make sense? On pain medications so I am a bit loopy at the moment. My understanding is that this is actually worse since tendons take so long to repair. Now I have this weird arm wrap thingy that makes my thumb stay straight and is much more sturdy. Have to keep it on 24/7 unless showering. Major pain with driving, cooking, basically everything, I see doctor again on Tuesday afternoon to see if I will be getting a referral to a surgeon or therapy.

    As far as Aly goes, she is doing ok with dad, dad however is starting to see the light a bit, I think, Will be really interesting having them here tomorrow for a Superbowl/Jayme's 4th b'day celebration. I am a little nervous but there will be some distractions, we got her a kitten, since I took our Bengal with me when I left. I think she will love the kitten, it is little, mostly black and a real love bug. We shall see...

    Anyways, arm is killing me so I best get off here. I just want to thank you all for your continued support and good thoughts!

    Hugs and Love,
  13. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member


    Saying prayers and sending hugs to you. No words of wisdom, just know that you are in my thoughts.:flower: