THe same old, same old has been going on, but it's getting tedious, so I haven't written anything. Since the last post about difficult child hallucinating, there's been one incident of difficult child getting around the alarms by the bedroom window. We found out because we went in and noticed they were turned off. How can he turn the alarms against the window off? Well, husband noticed if you go passed them very fast, they don't go off, and I tried picking them up from behind very slowly and found you could turn them off. WHile I was doing that I saw something shiney behind a radio on his desk. I looked and 2 steak knives and a pair of scissors. husband was standing there and said, "You knew right where they were." He says he doesn't think I planted them. Ok. Well, so on July 19 we drive him to military boot camp where he'll be for 3 weeks. Apparently husband didn't tell him he was going to a boot camp, I guess he led him to believe that it was just a regular sleep away camp. difficult child was not happy at the opening ceremony when the drill sargeant was laying it all out on the line, but... husband felt very bad that he misled difficult child but said he didn't want difficult child to worry about it for weeks in advance. Ok. So the first day difficult child is at camp, we come home from work and CPS is on our front step. Someone had called in and said they'd seen difficult child on the streets in the middle of the night, and that he'd been hanging out at the neighborhood drug house. They also said they've smelt alcohol on husband, and that stepdaughter is afraid of difficult child but isn't allowed to tell. The report said he'd been seen at night kicking cars and putting clothing in neighbors' garbage cans, been at the drug house also in the afternoon, and had other strange behavior such as staring. They also said difficult child had stolen knives, stabbed things and poured syrup in stepdaughter's room while she slept. The informant had a lot of specific info, and we are pretty sure it's the neighbor. Stepdaughter plays with their son, and she probably chattered about some of the events. The neighbor lady probably questioned her some (she'd been concerned about a year or two ago when difficult child would stand in the backyard and stare--but difficult child hasn't done that for a while). And the neighbor man is a detective and is often up at 3 and 4 in the morning and might have seen him. difficult child has not been hanging out at the local drug house. That house is burned out, has not electricity, is abandonned and the owner's druggie grandsons appear a few times a month for a couple hours for quiet drug parties. The local police know and watch the house, but the druggies are there so rarely they don't catch them. They are quiet, per other neighbors one or two have gone to jail for drugs. So while I believe difficult child might have been there once or twice, he doesn't hang out there. He had a small window of opportunity for about 3 months after school a half hour before I got home and he of course sneaks out at night but can't really spend much time anywhere because my teens are awake until 3 and 4 in the morning and I get up at 5:30 am. But someone has seen him outside in the middle of the night, and we now know where he got the drugs he took to school and then to summer camp. But husband still doesn't believe he goes out the window at night. husband thinks maybe the neighbor lady is the one who called the summer camp and reported he had drugs on him. And husband might be right about it. Perhaps one afternoon she saw difficult child with a handful of them while he was sitting on the bench in front waiting for me to get home. husband think she might have given them to him, she's a nurse, and then called summer camp because she wanted difficult child thrown out so he wouldn't be at camp with her son. I think difficult child got the drugs from a chance encounter or two with the druggies. Anyway, the CPS lady came, said she knew it was unfounded (we had her before on Dec 19 when she said we had to protect ourselves). She had to talk to all the kids, and was going to have the local cops by the military camp go talk to difficult child. We assured her we had alarms, husband said he didn't know how difficult child could possibly get out the window, and then climb back on the roof again, but we know my 14 year was doing it, and last year difficult child went to military school, did pushups everyday and carried boxes of rocks around and actually got awards for PT, so I think he can. The CPS lady said it's very common for kids like this to be able to get around the best security systems. When husband went out for a smoke and to pace, she explained to the cop who accompanied her that difficult child was a sociopath. husband came in and did admit to the drug possession and the knives and other behavior but also explained about the mental illness, the risperdal and lexapro, the therapy, the military school and now the summer boot camp. Stepdaughter was at gymnastics, so CPS lady followed me to the place and pulled stepdaughter out of class for about 2 minutes and spoke to her privately. Stepdaughter wasn't upset, she was most worried I was going to take her home early. The odd thing was when CPS lady got out of her car she had tears in her eyes and said how sorry she was, how bad she felt for us, and how she knew we were doing everything we could. We'd have 6 more years of this. She asked if he had a case manager? "From our insurance?" I asked. "No from Henderson." I told her Henderson wouldn't take us because...and she finished the sentence for me: "...because you have private insurance and they only take medicaid. You are screwed." Anyway she assured me that she'd alrady closed the case and we had nothing to worry about and left. Fine, great. Then today... husband comes home and there's a summons. difficult child is being charged with delinquincy and 3rd degree felony possession of drugs without a prescription. "I don't understand," husband said, "The cops didn't arrest him, they said there was something odd about the whole situation. They let him go." Yes, well, they didn't arrest him, but they did write a report, and what could the report say: they got a complaint that a kid had drugs on him, they found drugs on him, they released him to his father rather than arrest him because of mitigating circumstances. husband is currently mad at me because I'm not supporting him. (nevermind I can't remember a time when he's been supportive of me, nope, he throws me under the bus where his son and mother are concerned, and minimizes any upset I might feel). My crime? I told my son, the one who accepted the subpoena, what the subpoena was for. He wants to keep it a secret. Why should the other kids in the family know? BS to that. The other thing I said before I knew the full story that difficult child was being charged with a 3rd degree felony, but after husband told me that difficult child was being charged with delinquency: "This could be could, as a delinquent maybe the court can order services for him." WHen I found out they were charging him with a felony, I said, "That's bad." I've always said it would be terrible if difficult child went to Juvvy, he's a skinny whitefaced red haired white boy. His last probation officer said: "They aren't going to be able to protect you all the time." He'll go for 45 days and come back more damaged than he went. But husband is accusing me of being gleeful, running instantly to gloat with my son and being happy that maybe he'll be sent away now. Not true. This is very serious, and is going to be expensive, and aggravating and this is his 4th time before the court for a felony. But husband wants me to be a bad guy. He's feeling very sorry for himself that I'm not supporting him. I said, what would support feel like to you right now. What can I do? He blew me off, and I said, Well, I asked how to support you and you blew me off, so... My guess is support to him means figuring out ways to 'get difficult child off', strategizing on how to present things, what lies to tell, how to minimize, how to cover it up and divert, swearing up hill and down dale that difficult child has his troubles but he would never do this, he must have been set up. I'm not going there. But I will be at court, whether husband wants me or not, because husband is not going to say, "Well, we have teens in the house and maybe one of them..." Nope, I'll be jumping right up and speaking out, with my CPS reports and my behavior log and my copy of the picture difficult child drew of him stabbing and jumping on his sister. And then I'll go home and tell my atty to file the divorce papers. He's thrown me under the bus dozens of times with his enmeshed family and clingy mother, he's undermined me with difficult child on some occasions, but he is not, and will never be allowed to pass difficult child's behavior off on my nice kids. Court date is Aug 10.