nvts
Active Member
Thank you all so much - I really don't know what I'd do without you. My Dad and my very close friend from the neighborhood and her husband have all surrounded me and tried to help "normal" things out. My siblings have basically disappeared, as have most of my other friends.
I think what bothers me is that he told me that he told me two weeks ago when we were talking outside that it was over. This in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM happened. He was considering marriage counseling, adding on to the house, conversations about my Dad wanting me to have his house eventually - etc. When I pointed this out, he could understand why I was caught off guard. Now you know why I refer to him as "AH" as opposed to husband or H.
I want you all to know I've been seeing a fantastic counselor since the seperation. I get an hour once a week, but we've been covering mostly difficult child situations because difficult child 1 has been so volatile.
You've all made fantastic suggestions. And you'll also be proud that when the "announcement" was made, I turned around and said "then you better get your apartment ready for sleep-overs with the kids" and he said "do you mean I can't visit them here anymore" and I said "let me make this perfectly clear, so that there's NO misunderstanding or misinterpretation: You will be taking them so that I can have some alone time IN MY HOUSE".
Ta-da! I'm sick and tired of being tired, feeling like I have to prove myself, being on egg shells everytime he's here etc. In retrospect - I owe him NOTHING. When I asked him to leave, my decision was based on how things were affecting both he and the kids. I removed myself from the equation.
I'm going to keep reading AND re-reading what all of you have written. I'm sorry this situation has forced some of you to resurrect your own prior experiences - but trust me, it made some of this a little less creepy.
Again, thank you all for all of the great ideas - I promise to try and let my guard down a little bit and let them see that I don't only yell, hug and love, but that I have feelings too.
Beth
I think what bothers me is that he told me that he told me two weeks ago when we were talking outside that it was over. This in NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM happened. He was considering marriage counseling, adding on to the house, conversations about my Dad wanting me to have his house eventually - etc. When I pointed this out, he could understand why I was caught off guard. Now you know why I refer to him as "AH" as opposed to husband or H.
I want you all to know I've been seeing a fantastic counselor since the seperation. I get an hour once a week, but we've been covering mostly difficult child situations because difficult child 1 has been so volatile.
You've all made fantastic suggestions. And you'll also be proud that when the "announcement" was made, I turned around and said "then you better get your apartment ready for sleep-overs with the kids" and he said "do you mean I can't visit them here anymore" and I said "let me make this perfectly clear, so that there's NO misunderstanding or misinterpretation: You will be taking them so that I can have some alone time IN MY HOUSE".
Ta-da! I'm sick and tired of being tired, feeling like I have to prove myself, being on egg shells everytime he's here etc. In retrospect - I owe him NOTHING. When I asked him to leave, my decision was based on how things were affecting both he and the kids. I removed myself from the equation.
I'm going to keep reading AND re-reading what all of you have written. I'm sorry this situation has forced some of you to resurrect your own prior experiences - but trust me, it made some of this a little less creepy.
Again, thank you all for all of the great ideas - I promise to try and let my guard down a little bit and let them see that I don't only yell, hug and love, but that I have feelings too.
Beth
