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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 351847" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>It looked and sounded like he was going to run away- he said he wasn't going to go back in but he gave up because he had already messed up and would have to go to court agsain- except he wasn't going to be here. I told him if he left agaiin I would call cops immediately. (I know they will say to wait - that 99% of the time kids will come back or call and will be fine). Anyway, he left and had camping stuff that went missing. I was giving him a LITTLE time to think before calling. He called about 15 mins later and said he was coming back home. He got back home about 10 mins later- no camping stuff with him. Maybe he had put it up before he left- probably he sold it and had never planned on running away. But he's in the house now and using his cell periodically. I can't hear what is being said because I'm in another room working on the computer but the tone sounds like he's not too happy- not angry- maybe resolved. I'm trying to be a little cautious about some things I post publicly- he very likely could use a computer from a friend and look up my threads if he does leave.</p><p></p><p>I have told him that the more he does, the deeper his hole gets but if it's ONLY breaking house arrest/curfew, it won't be nearly as bad as doing other illegal things. And it won't- Department of Juvenile Justice isn't aloowed to hold them long for parole violations like this. And of course, the more he refuses to comply the longer it will be. I've offered to seek help for him if there is ANYTHING he's hooked on or needs help with. I've told him I'm working, but I'm here and he can come and talk to me any time. He just wants to be left alone. So, I'm working and just taking periodic breaks while I have the peace of knowing he's here and safe and not breaking a law, at least for this minute.</p><p></p><p>I forgot to check the mail yesterday so got it out of the box today and there was more paperwork from Department of Juvenile Justice- just copying me on a packet that included records on him. It also had initial evaluation stuff from his processing last year. He had told them then the same goals of college and so forth- I honestly don't think he has been snowing on absolutely everything- especially given how he cried and held me his second night home and said he was so afraid he would mess up and confessed several things to me. He did great that first week- not to blame it all on someone else, but that mentor was supposed to start at the end of that first week. The PO knows that- that's why when I called him and left that message last Wed and he called back, he said he had already called the mentoring company and told them to get out here and do something with this kid and get him out of the house and someone else to talk to and something constructive to do with a guy.</p><p></p><p>ETA: He went and got a bag from the backyard that had the camping stuff in it. He's getting in the shower- says he's tired and his allergies are acting up (we both feel sick). I suggested he put comfortable sleep wear on, eat a bowl of tomatoe soup, get some rest, and regroup. I asked for a hug and he gave me one- a real one. He had to sleep 3 hours outside early this morning- other than that 20-25 mins he was gone earlier (supposedly running away), he's been in the house. Now the question is what he'll do tomorrow after he's rested again. But my plan is to make this call to PO first thing tomorrow before difficult child is awake so I can talk without difficult child hearing me. This PO doesn't appear to have the same all-or-nothing, black & white thinking that the probation officer did, so we shall see.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 351847, member: 3699"] It looked and sounded like he was going to run away- he said he wasn't going to go back in but he gave up because he had already messed up and would have to go to court agsain- except he wasn't going to be here. I told him if he left agaiin I would call cops immediately. (I know they will say to wait - that 99% of the time kids will come back or call and will be fine). Anyway, he left and had camping stuff that went missing. I was giving him a LITTLE time to think before calling. He called about 15 mins later and said he was coming back home. He got back home about 10 mins later- no camping stuff with him. Maybe he had put it up before he left- probably he sold it and had never planned on running away. But he's in the house now and using his cell periodically. I can't hear what is being said because I'm in another room working on the computer but the tone sounds like he's not too happy- not angry- maybe resolved. I'm trying to be a little cautious about some things I post publicly- he very likely could use a computer from a friend and look up my threads if he does leave. I have told him that the more he does, the deeper his hole gets but if it's ONLY breaking house arrest/curfew, it won't be nearly as bad as doing other illegal things. And it won't- Department of Juvenile Justice isn't aloowed to hold them long for parole violations like this. And of course, the more he refuses to comply the longer it will be. I've offered to seek help for him if there is ANYTHING he's hooked on or needs help with. I've told him I'm working, but I'm here and he can come and talk to me any time. He just wants to be left alone. So, I'm working and just taking periodic breaks while I have the peace of knowing he's here and safe and not breaking a law, at least for this minute. I forgot to check the mail yesterday so got it out of the box today and there was more paperwork from Department of Juvenile Justice- just copying me on a packet that included records on him. It also had initial evaluation stuff from his processing last year. He had told them then the same goals of college and so forth- I honestly don't think he has been snowing on absolutely everything- especially given how he cried and held me his second night home and said he was so afraid he would mess up and confessed several things to me. He did great that first week- not to blame it all on someone else, but that mentor was supposed to start at the end of that first week. The PO knows that- that's why when I called him and left that message last Wed and he called back, he said he had already called the mentoring company and told them to get out here and do something with this kid and get him out of the house and someone else to talk to and something constructive to do with a guy. ETA: He went and got a bag from the backyard that had the camping stuff in it. He's getting in the shower- says he's tired and his allergies are acting up (we both feel sick). I suggested he put comfortable sleep wear on, eat a bowl of tomatoe soup, get some rest, and regroup. I asked for a hug and he gave me one- a real one. He had to sleep 3 hours outside early this morning- other than that 20-25 mins he was gone earlier (supposedly running away), he's been in the house. Now the question is what he'll do tomorrow after he's rested again. But my plan is to make this call to PO first thing tomorrow before difficult child is awake so I can talk without difficult child hearing me. This PO doesn't appear to have the same all-or-nothing, black & white thinking that the probation officer did, so we shall see. [/QUOTE]
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