Went to the hearing...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Valentine, Dec 7, 2009.

  1. Valentine

    Valentine New Member

    The police made me sound like I was doing nothing for my son and I was so heartbroken.. The school counsler thinks the cop jumped the gun and now its outta my hands. He is in SRS custody and there will be placement somewhere other than home for now. I am heartsick and broken and have cried til I cant cry anymore. I just keep telling myself and kids it WILL get better. The SRS is looking into placing my boy with his GOD AWFUL dad but I guess atleast if that happens I will have contact with him. Still havent got to see or speak to him. [​IMG]
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm sorry to hear this. If you are really worried about your son's safety with his I think you should let everyone you talk to in the system know this ASAP. If you wait to long, they will not listen at all. If the kid's father gets custody, it's very hard to get it back. If the child goes into foster care, they usually push for reunification- you will see him unless they completely remove your rights which only happens in severe abuse or neglect cases.

    I don't don't shat SRS stands for though- I'm assuming it's like social seervices/child protection services.

    I am worried about my son's placement in the next few months too- you are not alone.
  3. emotionallybankrupt

    emotionallybankrupt New Member

    Valentine, it really sounds to me like you need an aggressive, knowledgeable lawyer ASAP.

    I'm not familiar with SRS either, but assuming it must mean state custody. Depending on your situation, this could open some doors for treatment for difficult child. The fact that I had a job with private insurance blocked my difficult child from long-term residential treatment, even though my mental health insurance benefits were exhausted. I did not qualify for any state assistance. WITH state assistance, however, much more is possible, at least in my state.

    Are you afraid of difficult child at this point? I think that was asked before, but I never saw the answer. If you are, then your other children most certainly are. It's just possible this could be a step in a better direction for difficult child to be stablized, as long as somebody competent is guiding the process. Certainly loss of your rights to the parent you believe is less willing or capable to handle things responsibly (to put it nicely) doesn't serve anybody's best interests.

    Either way, though, I think you and difficult child need a strong advocate and fast.
  4. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    What State are you in?
  5. Valentine

    Valentine New Member

    We are in Kansas.. I opted for the court appointed attorney WELL because I dont have the money to hire one. NO I am not afraid he will hurt one of us and I never have. He is a boy with Mental issues who is going thorough puberty. This babe has had my heart from the first second I laid eyes on him... My heart breaks for him because he got himself in this mess and didnt know they would take it so serious.
  6. emotionallybankrupt

    emotionallybankrupt New Member

    What does the court-appointed attorney say about next moves? Do you like that attorney and think he/she is competent? Do you think you could need an attorney to represent YOUR needs in addition to his attorney who is representing HIS needs? If so, many charge little or nothing for an initial consultation. Could be worth it.

    I know you love him, but I was just thinking based on the few statements about him, that he was violent in the home as well as threatening outside the home. What do you see as the behavioral angles of his issues? What is he like at home and away from home? What is it that he thought would not be taken seriously?
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry. I know how it hurts.

    You've gotten some good advice here.

    I, too, was under the impression that he was violent at home. I will have to go back to the old notes to figure out what gave me that idea.

    Have you spoken to anyone in the system about an evaluation and medications?

    How long will the placement process take?
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I would think that a guardian ad litem (GAL) would have been appointed for him a long time ago. Chances are, the judge will do whatever the GAL wants, along with any legal person- like a probation officer. That can work in your favor or against it- it would be good to try to build a good rapport with them, or at least one of them, ASAP. As far as them thinking you haven't done enough- well, I think that's par for the course. Here, they fight against everything I do yet tell the judge I'm not doing ANYTHING if I'm not jumping thru hoops trying to find an answer and solution to every issue that comes along. Then they over-rule it. LOL!

    I apologize for sounding pessimistic- I'm just tired of dealing with these people in my difficult child's life for almost 4 years.
  9. Valentine

    Valentine New Member

    My son has been seeing a counsler, going to activitie4s at the Mental Health Center, and he has been in a theraputic school (at my choice) BUT yet the Police Officer who knew nothing decided I was doing nothing... The Police officer that day before my son was taken away.. Went to my 11 Year olds school and questioned him.. Asked him if his brother beat up on him and my 11 Y/o said yes.. They are brothers about the same age and builod and yes they fought but I always broke it up.. The officer also asked if difficult child has access to firearms and my 11 year old said yes but he didnt know.. Everything we had was locked up and now is removed from my home.. My 11 year old blames himself and that sucks..
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Amazing how people can twist things to their point of view. He was looking for evidence and he found it.
    I like the GAL idea.
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    They asked a brother if another brother beat up on him and took it seriously? Come on...dont all brothers fight? Sheesh.

    Lord if they asked all the boys those questions in the schools down here where I live, they would be taking away almost the entire population of our schools! Most brothers argue and fight and we are a big hunting area so most kids have access to guns at some point in time. Maybe not on every given day...but at some point in time. If a person isnt specific in the question asked...a literal kid will answer Yes to that question.