Went Too Far Update 2

[Tanya M]

Hi Skool, well, I am not a all surprised that she has ramped it up and is now demanding the child support money, your child support money. As you said, she has burned through what she received from her father's estate in her freshman year of college.
The problem is, she will continue to hold onto the idea that the money belongs to her. Many of our d-cs do not have a healthy understanding and respect for money. To them money will make them happy because they can party and have a good time but when the money runs out and it always does they contact us wanting more.
Your daughter has the "I'm entitled attitude" I know it well from dealing with my son. They want it all and they want it now and they do not want to have to work for anything.
You do not owe your daughter one penny. She of course will continue to say you do. Her threats of taking you to court are laughable. If she threatens that again, if it were me, I would tell her very simply, do what you feel you need to do. You would be calling her bluff, letting her know that she cannot use the threat of court as some form of "blackmail". Just for arguments sake, let's say that she did manage to find a lawyer to represent her or worse yet she represents herself, when you explain to the judge how she has already burned through so much money and how she has stolen from you and used your credit cards without permission the judge will dismiss her case.
I have learned to keep my replies to my son very simple and very short. When he has made threats where he thinks he can blackmail me I tell him, do what you feel you need to do.
The main thing is to send a message that you will not be intimidated.

You are doing great Skool. You are standing your ground.

 

[Skool Teacher]

Hi Skool, well, I am not a all surprised that she has ramped it up and is now demanding the child support money, your child support money. As you said, she has burned through what she received from her father's estate in her freshman year of college.
The problem is, she will continue to hold onto the idea that the money belongs to her. Many of our d-cs do not have a healthy understanding and respect for money. To them money will make them happy because they can party and have a good time but when the money runs out and it always does they contact us wanting more.
Your daughter has the "I'm entitled attitude" I know it well from dealing with my son. They want it all and they want it now and they do not want to have to work for anything.
You do not owe your daughter one penny. She of course will continue to say you do. Her threats of taking you to court are laughable. If she threatens that again, if it were me, I would tell her very simply, do what you feel you need to do. You would be calling her bluff, letting her know that she cannot use the threat of court as some form of "blackmail". Just for arguments sake, let's say that she did manage to find a lawyer to represent her or worse yet she represents herself, when you explain to the judge how she has already burned through so much money and how she has stolen from you and used your credit cards without permission the judge will dismiss her case.
I have learned to keep my replies to my son very simple and very short. When he has made threats where he thinks he can blackmail me I tell him, do what you feel you need to do.
The main thing is to send a message that you will not be intimidated.

You are doing great Skool. You are standing your ground.

Thanks Tanya. I have either not responded to her texts and emails or keep my responses very brief. That Florida DOT toll letter made my blood boil and I went there with her in an email and open up the door for her to try it with me and we had a very ugly exchange. I realized immediately that I made a mistake by doing that and I will not do that again. I just wont respond or it will be one sentence replies only if necessary.

I did let her know that if she wants to take me to court, then fine but that I would let the judge know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about her antics, lies and felonious behavior for the past 3 years that led to her being put out of my home. I also let her know that this action could lead to irreparable damage to our already fragile relationship but it was fine with me if she wanted a judge to decide if she got this money but I didn't know a judge alive that would! She replied that she didn't want to take me to court she just needs money to get her out of the crap she's in and to start making moves towards her goals. The crap she referred to is the 'crap' she got herself into with the piss poor decisions she makes and wants to use others money to get out of.

I had a rough day yesterday after arguing with her on the phone Saturday and was really devastated in my soul about her irrational actions and behaviors this morning. Work snapped me out of this mood today and asking God to help me be ok and to move on. I'm just sad and fearful of what may happen to her or getting a phone call that will change everything either for the best or forever. I'm just believing and praying she will see that path she is on is not for her and she'll get it and get her mind right and get on the right path. Meanwhile, I continue to press on, that's all I can do.

 

[New Leaf]

Work snapped me out of this mood today and asking God to help me be ok and to move on. I'm just sad and fearful of what may happen to her or getting a phone call that will change everything either for the best or forever. I'm just believing and praying she will see that path she is on is not for her and she'll get it and get her mind right and get on the right path. Meanwhile, I continue to press on, that's all I can do.

Good for you Skool. What helps me too, is to think and pray for the best, that my two will find their purpose and meaning. There is always hope. While they are on the state they are in, I have realized that anything I say, is used against me, their responses don't make a hill of sense and just make me upset. Pressing on is all I can do too. More than that, I try to make sure to work at taking better care of myself and find time to do enjoyable things that help to build me up. I hope you are able to do the same. Keep posting, and let us know how you are doing, we care for each other here.
Wishing you peace of mind and heart.
(((HUGS)))
leafy

 

[detachingmother]

Other son is getting married in September on Mackinac Island. I love up NORTH, God's country.

I love Mackinaw, and go every year to ride the 8 mile perimeter. We take our bikes. That will be a beautiful wedding. I can't get enough of it there.

We spend alot of time at Higgins Lake where are cabin is. We've been trying to sell it though to free up some money for florida, but the economy hasn't quite bounced back the way we were hoping. Won't get what we want out of it yet.

So, if your looking for a cabin...lololol I don't think we are really ready to get rid of it yet, truth be told, anyway...do not want to digress here, so ....

Yep, the cold is back...froze today. I'm laying here thawing out with my heating pad after getting the car gassed up for tomorrow. haha.

No where else has anything on Michigan in the Summer...ahhhh.

 

[Ironbutterfly]

Higgins Lake is beautiful- we have been toying with the idea to get a cabin looked around here and there. But, probably going to hold off for a few more years as I get closer to retirement. It is on our bucket list. We think how wonderful it would be- then we are like, yeah, but do we want something in warmer climate like North Carolina.

Storm hitting us tomorrow afternoon, evening. I brought work computer home and work just in case the storm comes earlier. Yeah had to get gas tonight too. Nothing worse then getting gas in blizzard conditions.

Couple summers ago we took a trip in the UP around Leland, Copper Harbor, Porcupines, Houghton, Brockaway Mountain, just beautiful.

 

[detachingmother]

Storm hitting us tomorrow afternoon, evening. I brought work computer home and work just in case the storm comes earlier. Yeah had to get gas tonight too. Nothing worse then getting gas in blizzard conditions.

Yup, heading out to grocery in a few...it's getting ugly now.

Higgins, we only want $40k for cabin. It's a little tiny two bedroom, 1 bath..not directly on the water, but very close. lol YES it is gorgeous! #6 on a National Geographic list, or it was, but those lists are strange when it comes to votes.

But, again, I doubt we will really part with it yet. Also, selling man's mother's in Houghton....old as heck though, on a canal, problem won't get much, and really it's almost a tear down.

We did get an inexpensive fifth wheel last summer, and having a blast with it. Going to go all over Mi this year...

YIkes! SOrry Skool, We high-jacked the thread here. uh oh....I'll message ya a lil later. Gotta get to the store before it gets even worse...bare kitchen at moment.