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The Watercooler
We're falling apart...long
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 324809" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>KTMom--</p><p> </p><p>If I may add my own interpretation to your story....your husband sounds a lot like mine when he is under extreme stress.</p><p> </p><p>It sounds like your husband has no answers right now. He is so stressed out--between money and his job and the holidays--things are probably too painful to really think about...much less do.</p><p> </p><p>And yet, there you are...asking him for all these pesky "answers"....which he doesn't have....so he can't give them to you....so he says "Don't worry about it"...which really means "I don't know and I don't feel like thinking about it so please stop asking".</p><p> </p><p>I'm sorry that you are feeling ignored and pushed aside--really who could blame you?</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately, I think that things will not get better until your husband feels like he has the 'answers' again...</p><p> </p><p>Is there a way that you could "rephrase" some of your requests so as to elicit a different sort of response from him? Sometimes, I have to do that with my husband when I can see that he is just too stressed to really deal with what I need at the time.</p><p> </p><p>With the computer, for example, he may be assuming that you are accusing him of "losing" your files....you're not accusing him, of course....but he is assuming that you are "blaming" him for another problem. Maybe you could say, "Look I know you didn't lose the files, but I'm not sure where to find them. Would you help me?"</p><p> </p><p>If your husband is anything like mine--this approach may help some....</p><p> </p><p>((((Hugs))))</p><p> </p><p>Hope things get better soon!</p><p> </p><p>--DaisyFace</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 324809, member: 6546"] KTMom-- If I may add my own interpretation to your story....your husband sounds a lot like mine when he is under extreme stress. It sounds like your husband has no answers right now. He is so stressed out--between money and his job and the holidays--things are probably too painful to really think about...much less do. And yet, there you are...asking him for all these pesky "answers"....which he doesn't have....so he can't give them to you....so he says "Don't worry about it"...which really means "I don't know and I don't feel like thinking about it so please stop asking". I'm sorry that you are feeling ignored and pushed aside--really who could blame you? Unfortunately, I think that things will not get better until your husband feels like he has the 'answers' again... Is there a way that you could "rephrase" some of your requests so as to elicit a different sort of response from him? Sometimes, I have to do that with my husband when I can see that he is just too stressed to really deal with what I need at the time. With the computer, for example, he may be assuming that you are accusing him of "losing" your files....you're not accusing him, of course....but he is assuming that you are "blaming" him for another problem. Maybe you could say, "Look I know you didn't lose the files, but I'm not sure where to find them. Would you help me?" If your husband is anything like mine--this approach may help some.... ((((Hugs)))) Hope things get better soon! --DaisyFace [/QUOTE]
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